Would you find it freaky if a co-worker who lives far away runs into you in your neighborhood?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Ok, I am not actually paranoid that I suspect this guy in anything or afraid of him. It was just an unpleasant surprise. The nature of my feeling is different altogether.

I just don't want to see the people from my office I actually don't like to deal with when I am off. That's all. Of course, it's a public playground and I don't get to control who goes there, so it's a stupid feeling. I want to stay away, because I've been burnt by him, he put me under the bus, and my working situation became very tough to the point where I considered quitting. It took time for me to even want to exchange a few words with him at work after this. I want to keep my distance and I honestly, just don't feel comfortable around him, and I am not the only one who feels this way.

I just was worried for a second that if he starts coming here more often to see this friend it will be hard to avoid him, hard to just not have a conversation, after all we work at the same office. I will be sort of forced to be more friendly, KWIM? Since I haven't seen him before, maybe his wife just recently became friends with the woman who lives nearby and what if they become better friends and I have to see this guy more often. I don't want to have to start avoiding the playground a few steps away from my house, where I go every day. I know it is an irrational feeling, but this is what I felt, I felt like my space has been invaded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he was there alone, I would agree that it would be creepy. Maybe you're just having a hard time moving past your initial feelings when you saw him?

I think this is partially true. I thought at first that he was alone, but I was relieved that he was not and that there was a person who apparently was the friend, as she was talking to his wife and that she is likely living in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this person of a different background OP?

OP has not answered, and she's been pretty good at following up. My guess is that yes, there is some difference here, which has fueled the paranoia. That said OP, I think my DH would have said the same thing (though he's a dick like that). I also thought that what another poster said about instincts is wise. I'd suggest you continue to monitor the situation for any other anomolies in your interaction with this guy.

I didn't answer because I didn't understand the point of the question. We are of the same race and educational background if this is what you mean. This guy is just a bit creepy in my opinion and apparently not just in mine but in my other co-worker opinions too as I was warned by several people to keep my distance. At work, he is all smiles, but always has some hidden agenda, and this can hurt people sometimes, I am sure many of you encountered people who operate like this.

[Anonymous]

Your DH must think you're the hottest babe on earth.

Anonymous wrote:I ran into my co-worker when taking DD to the playground where we live. He lives really far away, about 1 hour drive away and I always found him weird. He was with the family, his wife and kids, which he introduced me to. There was a look of utter shock in my face when I saw him in what is essentially our "backyard", we live really close to the playground. He must have felt like he had to explain, so he said, they came to visit a friend, who lives in the area. There was a woman who then came up to his wife and started talking to her, she seemed to be that friend, but he didn't introduce me to her. The woman - the friend, does look familiar to me, as I've seen her on the playground before, so, the story added up in my mind, but I still feel weird about the encounter. DH's first thought was that the guy might have been stalking me.

The truth is, we lived in this area for 3 years and I worked at this company with this co-worker for 8 months already, but I have never seen him before and we go to the playground every day. It's a far drive for them, so maybe that's why they haven't visited that friend frequently. He does know the area where I live, not the exact address of course, so that is why it feels a bit weird.

This guy and I don't have the best relationship at work, we had a few confrontations in the meetings with others and he tends to insert himself into people's business to elevate his position. Other co-workers described him as someone to stay away from. Otherwise, our relationship is pretty neutral, we say hi when we see each other and all is very professional and civil. Truthfully, I don't exactly like working with him and usually avoid him in the office. So, when I saw him in the playground, I said "oh no", I can't escape from work, the least thing I need is being followed by people I don't want to do much with during the work week on my weekends.

[Anonymous]

Which is it, crazy lady?

" we had a few confrontations in the meetings with others and he tends to insert himself into people's business to elevate his position. Other co-workers described him as someone to stay away from. Otherwise, our relationship is pretty neutral, we say hi when we see each other and all is very professional and civil."

OR

"because I've been burnt by him, he put me under the bus, and my working situation became very tough to the point where I considered quitting. It took time for me to even want to exchange a few words with him at work after this."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH must think you're the hottest babe on earth.

What an idiotic remark.

[Anonymous]

^Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Which is it, crazy lady?

" we had a few confrontations in the meetings with others and he tends to insert himself into people's business to elevate his position. Other co-workers described him as someone to stay away from. Otherwise, our relationship is pretty neutral, we say hi when we see each other and all is very professional and civil."

OR

"because I've been burnt by him, he put me under the bus, and my working situation became very tough to the point where I considered quitting. It took time for me to even want to exchange a few words with him at work after this."

Actually, it's both. Statement #2 happened in the beginning and that's what it was. Statement #1 is how it is now after a few months has passed. It's not mutually exclusive, even if this may sound like this. Especially, since I've been thinking about and why I actually don't like the guy. I've been burnt, it wasn't anything that hurt me long term, but it was traumatic months ago when it was happening. I have tried to put this behind and succeeded as most people do in the office environment, that's why I downplayed it in my first statement. It's not a big deal now, but months ago, it was for a few days very uncomfortable and even traumatic to me. He is a snake, too friendly and smiles a bit too much, which I find creepy. And he throws people under the bus with a smile on his face and without ever raising his voice. Satisfied now? And thanks for the sweet compliments, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DH must think you're the hottest babe on earth.

Anonymous wrote:I ran into my co-worker when taking DD to the playground where we live. He lives really far away, about 1 hour drive away and I always found him weird. He was with the family, his wife and kids, which he introduced me to. There was a look of utter shock in my face when I saw him in what is essentially our "backyard", we live really close to the playground. He must have felt like he had to explain, so he said, they came to visit a friend, who lives in the area. There was a woman who then came up to his wife and started talking to her, she seemed to be that friend, but he didn't introduce me to her. The woman - the friend, does look familiar to me, as I've seen her on the playground before, so, the story added up in my mind, but I still feel weird about the encounter. DH's first thought was that the guy might have been stalking me.

The truth is, we lived in this area for 3 years and I worked at this company with this co-worker for 8 months already, but I have never seen him before and we go to the playground every day. It's a far drive for them, so maybe that's why they haven't visited that friend frequently. He does know the area where I live, not the exact address of course, so that is why it feels a bit weird.

This guy and I don't have the best relationship at work, we had a few confrontations in the meetings with others and he tends to insert himself into people's business to elevate his position. Other co-workers described him as someone to stay away from. Otherwise, our relationship is pretty neutral, we say hi when we see each other and all is very professional and civil. Truthfully, I don't exactly like working with him and usually avoid him in the office. So, when I saw him in the playground, I said "oh no", I can't escape from work, the least thing I need is being followed by people I don't want to do much with during the work week on my weekends.

Oh, don't they all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Which is it, crazy lady?

" we had a few confrontations in the meetings with others and he tends to insert himself into people's business to elevate his position. Other co-workers described him as someone to stay away from. Otherwise, our relationship is pretty neutral, we say hi when we see each other and all is very professional and civil."

OR

"because I've been burnt by him, he put me under the bus, and my working situation became very tough to the point where I considered quitting. It took time for me to even want to exchange a few words with him at work after this."

Actually, it's both. Statement #2 happened in the beginning and that's what it was. Statement #1 is how it is now after a few months has passed. It's not mutually exclusive, even if this may sound like this. Especially, since I've been thinking about and why I actually don't like the guy. I've been burnt, it wasn't anything that hurt me long term, but it was traumatic months ago when it was happening. I have tried to put this behind and succeeded as most people do in the office environment, that's why I downplayed it in my first statement. It's not a big deal now, but months ago, it was for a few days very uncomfortable and even traumatic to me. He is a snake, too friendly and smiles a bit too much, which I find creepy. And he throws people under the bus with a smile on his face and without ever raising his voice. Satisfied now? And thanks for the sweet compliments, btw.

Yeah, I am inclined to believe you added the details of your co-worker's less than pleasant qualities after you were pretty much universally reamed as a paranoid. First you imply he may have been stalking you, and then change your story to you just don't like to see assholes out of work. Who does?

[Anonymous]

Do you own this playground or is it a public playground? You make it sound like you own the playground, but somehow I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Respectfully---(Imo) you are acting paranoid and entitled. Coincidences happen all the time. Let it go. You will be happier.

[Anonymous]

Just go up to him and say "this is my neighborhood. Mine" in a toddler voice. But in all seriousnes, I've had a couple of coworkers who sound like yours and I'd be none to thrilled to run into them outside of work hours. That said, try not to overreact too much.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I got it. Your co-worker is an a*hole, you hate his guts and don't want to see any of him or his offspring in your hood. Why don't you just say it instead of beating around the bush for like 3 pages of this thread. I also don't want to see any a*hole co-workers around my hood or run into them in restaurants or shopping malls and such, we got it, totally normal feeling. You know what? My neighbors are annoying and I sometimes can't stand them, but I live there, and run into them all the time, so what do I do? Help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you own this playground or is it a public playground? You make it sound like you own the playground, but somehow I doubt it.

Who the hell owns a playground? It's obviously a public playground, what a stupid question. If this was her playground, that would mean the dude was hanging out in her backyard, which would be trespassing. Now THAT would be freaky.