Teachers- How are classroom assignments conducted? PTA involved?

[Anonymous]

Oh, and yes, I do sometimes troll. Not this time. If you are guilty because you don't volunteer and wonder why your kid gets the crappy teacher that's YOUR problem, not mine.

Nice try with the insult, but you are very wrong. I'm not a parent, but someone who works with teachers and principals in the DC area. This is why I'm absolutely certain you are trolling here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh, and yes, I do sometimes troll. Not this time. If you are guilty because you don't volunteer and wonder why your kid gets the crappy teacher that's YOUR problem, not mine.

Nice try with the insult, but you are very wrong. I'm not a parent, but someone who works with teachers and principals in the DC area. This is why I'm absolutely certain you are trolling here.

Why is it so hard to believe this happens? Non PTA involved parent here but I believe teacher selection happens by influential parents.

[Anonymous]

PTA President and NP here. I am really disturbed by this thread, because I think it is perpetuating an extremely damaging myth.
There are Involved Parents and there are PITA parents. A person who is a leader in the PTA could be either type of parent.

Involved Parents are:
Committed to helping out the school in whatever way they can.
They do NOT need to be SAH, because there are many ways they can help the school outside of the school day.
They see the relationship between themselves, teachers, and administration as a collaborative effort. They advocate for ALL children of the school, which of course includes their children, but they understand that if they are working for getting the best for all kids, their kids reap the benefits as well.
Teachers and administrators do like these parents. They enjoy good relationships. Teachers who truly love their jobs want to have these kids' parents in their classroom, because they know they will get support.
Administrators are happy to have meetings with these parents, because they know that even if the parent is coming in with a concern or an issue, the conversation will be constructive and the goal of everyone in the room will be to come up with a pragmatic, reasonable resolution that the administration can put into action while not going against the operating procedure of their school.

PITA Parents:
Only care about their precious snowflakes
See the administration and teachers as adversaries. They talk about "fighting" for their children, to get what is "best for their children" (as if others want was is worse for their children?)
Teachers and administrators do NOT like these parents. They have to deal with them, just as you at your job have to deal with surly co-workers, unreasonable clients, etc. You perform your job for these people, but you have no desire to go the extra mile to deliver the best you can. Teachers and administrators meet with these people often, but because they have to, not because they want to, and they dread every meeting.

So, PITA parents demand particular classroom assignments. Involved parents do not. There are some rare instances (certainly not every year) where for any number of reasons an Involved Parent might engage in a friendly, constructive conversation about their children and getting a good "fit" between their kids and the school's classrooms and teachers. These conversation never deal in demands or ultimatums.

Being in the PTA does NOT automatically make you a PITA parent. As a PTA person who puts in countless hours to the school, I can tell you that I find that accusation unbelievably offensive. I have NEVER, not once, asked for a particular teacher. (Not even a friendly conversation. I've never done it.) Are there some parents who are in the PTA who are PITA Parents? Sure, but one does not automatically go with the other. I know of PITA parents at my school who do whine and complain for specific teacher who have never put in one hour of volunteer time or one dime of contribution to the PTA.

PTA President is a hard, often lonely job. When I get accused of engaging in bad behavior after spending another late night putting in volunteer hours, it's a bummer. I also wonder how many people read thread like this and think, "why should I support the PTA--it's just filled with horrible demanding jerks!" or "Why should I get involved with the PTA--I just be accused of nepotism behind my back."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So there is no science to it? Just enie, meanie, minee, mo? or by personality? Do each teacher from a pervious year make a recommendation for a child from a previous year?

They are most often dividing up kids by sex, race and SN to fairly distribute. Cant imagine they take personality mix in as a factor, would be a near impossible task.

[Anonymous]

Interesting topic - my son became friends with 3 boys in his K class. They were ALL separated in the 1st grade. I don't think that was random.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting topic - my son became friends with 3 boys in his K class. They were ALL separated in the 1st grade. I don't think that was random.

A neighbor is in charge of class assignments for a FCPS elementary school (not the one my kids go to), and she said that they often seperate best friends so they aren't too dependant on one another or too clique-y. I disagree completely on that approach, but she tells me it happens.

[Anonymous]

The principals at each school get to determine the protocol for class selection.

Some principals have an open door policy as far as requests. Some principals will have not any discussion with any parents regarding classroom placements. And some let PTA parents have an under-the-table choice.

My son has been at 7 schools in 11 years. It never hurts to be nice, it never hurts to volunteer, and it never hurts to ask.

[Anonymous]

"they often seperate best friends so they aren't too dependant on one another or too clique-y. "

dearl lord. that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. it's wonderful for children to make best friends at an early age. I find it terrible schools would deliberatesly aim to discourage that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"they often seperate best friends so they aren't too dependant on one another or too clique-y. "

dearl lord. that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. it's wonderful for children to make best friends at an early age. I find it terrible schools would deliberatesly aim to discourage that.

Parent Here: My child is getting separated from his friend this year and I support it. They are in class to learn, not goof off. They also need to develop friendships throughout the grade, not just with a couple of kids. If one group of kids get's too tight, then that can exclude other kids and make it harder for new kids coming into school. Cliques can lead bullying.

Bottom line: School is not a social club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PTA President and NP here. I am really disturbed by this thread, because I think it is perpetuating an extremely damaging myth.
There are Involved Parents and there are PITA parents. A person who is a leader in the PTA could be either type of parent.

Involved Parents are:
Committed to helping out the school in whatever way they can.
They do NOT need to be SAH, because there are many ways they can help the school outside of the school day.
They see the relationship between themselves, teachers, and administration as a collaborative effort. They advocate for ALL children of the school, which of course includes their children, but they understand that if they are working for getting the best for all kids, their kids reap the benefits as well.
Teachers and administrators do like these parents. They enjoy good relationships. Teachers who truly love their jobs want to have these kids' parents in their classroom, because they know they will get support.
Administrators are happy to have meetings with these parents, because they know that even if the parent is coming in with a concern or an issue, the conversation will be constructive and the goal of everyone in the room will be to come up with a pragmatic, reasonable resolution that the administration can put into action while not going against the operating procedure of their school.

PITA Parents:
Only care about their precious snowflakes
See the administration and teachers as adversaries. They talk about "fighting" for their children, to get what is "best for their children" (as if others want was is worse for their children?)
Teachers and administrators do NOT like these parents. They have to deal with them, just as you at your job have to deal with surly co-workers, unreasonable clients, etc. You perform your job for these people, but you have no desire to go the extra mile to deliver the best you can. Teachers and administrators meet with these people often, but because they have to, not because they want to, and they dread every meeting.

So, PITA parents demand particular classroom assignments. Involved parents do not. There are some rare instances (certainly not every year) where for any number of reasons an Involved Parent might engage in a friendly, constructive conversation about their children and getting a good "fit" between their kids and the school's classrooms and teachers. These conversation never deal in demands or ultimatums.

Being in the PTA does NOT automatically make you a PITA parent. As a PTA person who puts in countless hours to the school, I can tell you that I find that accusation unbelievably offensive. I have NEVER, not once, asked for a particular teacher. (Not even a friendly conversation. I've never done it.) Are there some parents who are in the PTA who are PITA Parents? Sure, but one does not automatically go with the other. I know of PITA parents at my school who do whine and complain for specific teacher who have never put in one hour of volunteer time or one dime of contribution to the PTA.

PTA President is a hard, often lonely job. When I get accused of engaging in bad behavior after spending another late night putting in volunteer hours, it's a bummer. I also wonder how many people read thread like this and think, "why should I support the PTA--it's just filled with horrible demanding jerks!" or "Why should I get involved with the PTA--I just be accused of nepotism behind my back."

I am the PTA President at an elementary school in Arlington. Your post is spot-on and well written. Thank you for posting this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"they often seperate best friends so they aren't too dependant on one another or too clique-y. "

dearl lord. that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. it's wonderful for children to make best friends at an early age. I find it terrible schools would deliberatesly aim to discourage that.

Are you new to having kids in school? Separating best friends has been the standard practice in the 2 elementary schools I've had children in. It's pretty much the norm.

[Anonymous]

separating best friends is ridiculous unless they are disruptive. thank goodness they didn't do this 30 years ago. i've had the same best friend since 1st grade. i guess the we must make our kids learn, learn, learn at all costs. no time for friends or fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting topic - my son became friends with 3 boys in his K class. They were ALL separated in the 1st grade. I don't think that was random.

I'm a teacher, and when we create classes, we generally don't separate "friends" just because they are friends. If the four boys were all separated, it could be random... or it could be that they had a difficult time focusing on their work. I'm refraining from suggesting that your son and his friends got into trouble together, but I don't think it's too much of a stretch to think that a group of four best friends probably spent a lot of time talking and playing when it wasn't appropriate. I often suggest that some kids stay in the same class if they get along and are good role models for each other. That being said, it's also good for young children to have a different social experience from the previous year.

It's one thing to encourage friendship and social skills, but it's another one friends truly do become too dependent on each other, and yes, too clique-y to the point of excluding other kids and/or missing out on other friendships. I met my best friend in 3rd grade. It was the only year we were ever in class together, and looking back, I'm sure we were separated intentionally. But we still managed to maintain our friendship for 30 years. There's always recess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no official role, but the PTA president or other influential adults in some schools can make requests for their own children (unofficially, of course), and that might include asking for certain other children to be in the class - or not be in the class - with their child.

I strongly suspect something like this goes on at our ES in MoCo. I like to stay out of this sort of speculation because I don't think it's productive, but this year it seems quite blatant. I hope I am wrong.

The one thing I would say if this does go on is what are these parents going to do when their kids go to college, grad school, and the working world? Forget the parents - what are the kids going to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

The one thing I would say if this does go on is what are these parents going to do when their kids go to college, grad school, and the working world? Forget the parents - what are the kids going to do?

Could not agree with you more. Heck, as soon as they get to middle school you really can't ask for particular teachers. Part of growing up is learning how to deal with the different situations. That's why I have never requested a particular teacher. (And yes, I am a PTA parent--so shame on you all who are make huge sweeping generalizations about PTA folks!)