Women with sisters and women without sisters - do you really notice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never noticed it until recently at my work. The women I at work with brothers can be more "matter of fact" and "tell it like it is" -- i.e. they'll say what they need to say without a whole cute story. The women with sisters tend to have more "drama" and cute stories to go with everything. I mean that in a really good way -- they come across really kind and friendly because they don't just say "it's raining," they say "I went outside, I had no umbrella, I can't believe I'm all wet etc." Of course if it was true drama or neediness or whatever, it wouldn't be cool but I have not found that to be related to having brothers v. sisters.

My mom and sister and I are so the cute story type, it drives my husband's all boy (beside his mom) family crazy.

I also notice that I tend to collect needy friends that are my baby sister's age. I think I am such an alpha big sister that I tend to end up with a lot of baby sister type friends that want guidance.

So true -- I'm the younger sister in my family and the women I'm closest to are those that are 4-5 yrs older than me -- my sister's age. I feel like I listen to their cute stories and in return, they provide me all sorts of guidance -- though they don't realize that they are also providing me entertainment with their stories usually.

[Anonymous]

No. I have one sister and one brother, and I'm not identifying with what most of the PPs have said.

I like some women and some men, regardless of their ages, and I have no clue whether you have sisters/brothers unless you tell me.

And I don't share particularly well. When you have siblings, you might just learn to defend what's yours. Or not. Personality is such a huge factor in how things influence you.

[Anonymous]

Hard to say. I do not have a sister. I can't tell, but maybe women with a sister can tell I don't have one.

[Anonymous]

I have three sisters who I love and sometimes can't stand. The best thing about sisters is that you are connected for life, so you can be brutally honest with each other and say things that you can't say to even your closest friend. Best friends for life despite the occasional blow ups when we call each other out on our respective self-centeredness and bitchiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I have one sister and one brother, and I'm not identifying with what most of the PPs have said.

I like some women and some men, regardless of their ages, and I have no clue whether you have sisters/brothers unless you tell me.

And I don't share particularly well. When you have siblings, you might just learn to defend what's yours. Or not. Personality is such a huge factor in how things influence you.

+1

I believe that so many of the observations/experiences/feelings described by various PPs stem more from their individual personalities than from the gender of their siblings.

And no, I don't at all notice who has sisters/brothers.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 sisters, and it's for this reason that I've never had a best friend or had an easy time making new friends. I was born with them. I easily adapted to groups but one-on-one wasn't my forte.

As my sisters and I have aged and are spread across the country, it has definitely been a liability for me not to have that friend-making capability. Still trying to learn but it's never going to come naturally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never noticed it until recently at my work. The women I at work with brothers can be more "matter of fact" and "tell it like it is" -- i.e. they'll say what they need to say without a whole cute story. The women with sisters tend to have more "drama" and cute stories to go with everything. I mean that in a really good way -- they come across really kind and friendly because they don't just say "it's raining," they say "I went outside, I had no umbrella, I can't believe I'm all wet etc." Of course if it was true drama or neediness or whatever, it wouldn't be cool but I have not found that to be related to having brothers v. sisters.

My mom and sister and I are so the cute story type, it drives my husband's all boy (beside his mom) family crazy.

I also notice that I tend to collect needy friends that are my baby sister's age. I think I am such an alpha big sister that I tend to end up with a lot of baby sister type friends that want guidance.

So true -- I'm the younger sister in my family and the women I'm closest to are those that are 4-5 yrs older than me -- my sister's age. I feel like I listen to their cute stories and in return, they provide me all sorts of guidance -- though they don't realize that they are also providing me entertainment with their stories usually.

Huh. This is interesting. I have one sister, 3yrs younger than me (and a younger brother too) and I gravitate towards women my own age or 2-5yrs older. Always have. But then, I skipped a grade in elementary, so my classmates were always older than me. Most of my friends now are 2-3yrs older than me.

And in my tight circle of 4 friends . . . there's me, one woman with a much younger sister (12yr age difference) and close-in-age brother, an only child and a woman with 3 sisters all close in age. We're all super close and lived together in various combinations in college and afterwards. We're all different, but it's more personality and overall family dynamic thing than only child vs. sisters vs. brothers thing.

[Anonymous]

I have lots of sisters (won't say how many, b/c it may out me here) and no brothers. I tend to become friends with other girls/women who have also had sisters. I don't tend to click with women who have not had sisters/only brothers. My one SIL one had two brothers and I don't really get her and I don't really get her, either. The gal who married the other brother, though, now, she originally had 2 sisters and she and I really hit it off. I find women who did/do not have sisters don't really know how to relate (at least to me) beyond sort of surface things. . .if I start gabbing away in a "sisterly/girly" way, they are kind of like unresponsive to my style. Whereas another female who had/has sisters will start jumping in and we'll have a back-and-forth, easy, overlapping-each-other kind of conversation.

???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have lots of sisters (won't say how many, b/c it may out me here) and no brothers. I tend to become friends with other girls/women who have also had sisters. I don't tend to click with women who have not had sisters/only brothers. My one SIL one had two brothers and I don't really get her and I don't really get her, either. The gal who married the other brother, though, now, she originally had 2 sisters and she and I really hit it off. I find women who did/do not have sisters don't really know how to relate (at least to me) beyond sort of surface things. . .if I start gabbing away in a "sisterly/girly" way, they are kind of like unresponsive to my style. Whereas another female who had/has sisters will start jumping in and we'll have a back-and-forth, easy, overlapping-each-other kind of conversation.

???

I have only brothers and I am like you, PP.
So I think a lot has to do with personality as well, not just gender of siblings.

[Anonymous]

I do not have a sister. I am so lonely never knew how to make friends with women no close girlfriends just so lonely even at fifty three years old.

[Anonymous]

No. I have an older sister who has always been a bitch. She has a lot of girlfriends, fewer man friends. I prefer my own space. I think temperament is a bigger factor.

[Anonymous]

I have no sisters, just a brother, and I was also never close to my mother. I've always longed for those natural, close bonds with women.

As I look back, all my close girl/women friends have had a lot of sisters. They're all also zero-drama, straightforward types in how they relate, as I am. I think that their having sisters helped make them good at woman-bonding.

Even though I've always had good girlfriends, I'm really awkward at the process of getting close with women. I do that very well and naturally with men, and have always made friends with men more easily.
However, I need and love the emotional closeness and sharing and talking everything out that I have with my good women friends.

Sadly, all my good women friends are scattered around the country, and we stay close with email, but it's not the same as having them nearby to hang out with.

[Anonymous]

I only have brothers. I am very matter of fact about things, but I make friends easily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP again - wondering if those with sisters don't have as strong a need for female friendships. Most of my closest friends don't have sisters they are close with, come to think of it.

i feel this way. i am very close with my sister and no matter how many female friends i have they will never come close to the bond i have w/my sister and i think people know that and either back off or we sort of adopt them as a third sister. i know a few women w/out sisters and they all say they wish they'd had one. i agree w/the pp who said its because we both grew up together and shared the same experiences w/our parents and know why we turned out the way we did. i have a friend who is an only and now she has four children. she wishes she had at least one sibling to share stories/memories of her parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not have a sister. I am so lonely never knew how to make friends with women no close girlfriends just so lonely even at fifty three years old.

This is sad. Maybe post on the relationships thread for ideas how to foster friendships? Lots of people would be interested, I bet, and it's never too late!