Wife Works, Husband Doesn't - what would you do?

[Anonymous]

OP, is this you?

http://www.cnn.com/video/?hpt=hp_c3#/video/us/2012/06/25/bride-sings-on-wedding-day.petite-productions

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the different POVs. Even the mean ones, ouch. More about us. We're both 33, married 3 years,  stayed married bc of love and religious beliefs. We briefly separated for 2 months last year and got back together. No plans for kids. DH has a research interest in something terribly esoteric, like the history of underwater space travel. Its fascinating but before I feed my intellect I just want to feed myself. Before we got married we has aligned goals. I worked hard put myself through school. But after our first year, he just "gave up" looking for a job. we go on date nights and do couples therapy. I guess like some of you said, I need to accept that he has gotten comfy.

[Anonymous]

Or you need to dump him.

If you are not going to dump him, then you have to let go. Accept this is what he's willing to give. Focus on what YOU are willing to give.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We decided to buy a fixer-up house together. There's no question that the house needs renovation. The issue is whose project is it. I think it's both, he thinks it's mine.

This right here is a symptom of your issues - you are basing your marriage on assumptions. You assumed the house needed renovation, but did he? Every relationship requires clear communication, otherwise its doomed to fail.

[Anonymous]

A major change. DH decided he's had enough and doesn't want to work on our marriage any more. He's going to move out into a group house w/in the week (all he can afford). I'm stunned but also relieved. Like a huge burden has been lifted from me. He says he wants spousal support. It would be so wrong if he gets half. Total gender role reversal. Thank god no kids. I need to call my lawyer now.

[Anonymous]

perhaps I'm wrong but spousal support usually for a spouse who removed herself (himself) from the workplace to raise kids. he might get half of marital assets but alimony is questionable. good luck and at least you don't have to end it yourself.

[Anonymous]

Get out now!!!!!! Do not have kids with this man. He will think they are "your" project too. He clearly doesn't want to be a full partner. There is so much more out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A major change. DH decided he's had enough and doesn't want to work on our marriage any more. He's going to move out into a group house w/in the week (all he can afford). I'm stunned but also relieved. Like a huge burden has been lifted from me. He says he wants spousal support. It would be so wrong if he gets half. Total gender role reversal. Thank god no kids. I need to call my lawyer now.

My gut reaction - he's having an affair. OP, get thee to a lawyer!

[Anonymous]

Divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get the impression that this entire thread has been created by one person have a conversation with him/herself.

Yup! That's what I think too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I get the impression that this entire thread has been created by one person have a conversation with him/herself.

Yup! That's what I think too

I wish this is made up. I'm practically live tweeting my divorce at this rate. I'm shocked and numb. Maybe he is cheating. Off to get an STD test. My gut tells me he's not cheating, just hurt that I refuse to support his lifestyle and trying to call my bluff. Right now he's crying in his mancave.

[Anonymous]

Wicked question: let's say he does become the next Stephen King...would I get a cut of that even if were divorced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wicked question: let's say he does become the next Stephen King...would I get a cut of that even if were divorced?

Ask your lawyer. Of he wrote the drafts while you were married & supporting him, ya git paid!!!

[Anonymous]

Get your divorce and move on. It is better to be on the market again at 33 vs 45.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get your divorce and move on. It is better to be on the market again at 33 vs 45.

this is true. It is a sad thing though. I thought we'd be life partner s, business partners, parenting partners, everything. I know I am shedding a toxic relationship but I'm also losing my best friend.