Indulging boring/ annoying pretend play

[Anonymous]

We're = weird

[Anonymous]

Yes it is boring for you to play this game. But being a good parent isn't always going to be fun and all about what you would rather be doing, right?

I don't see any reason that she needs to play this particular game to be a good parent. If the game really bugs you that much, just tell her you can't play it and offer to play something else. She will either take you up on it eventually.

[Anonymous]

Yes it is boring for you to play this game. But being a good parent isn't always going to be fun and all about what you would rather be doing, right? I would bet that if you keep at for another period of time she will move on to something else. Be the adult and just play along her way for now. She is a very very small person and you can't expect her to be a mini adult.

Hmm, I guess I look at it somewhat differently. My son really likes to play a game where he takes all of his wooden trains and plays with them, and I just get to repeat specific lines that he wants me to say, and don't get to touch any trains. While I'm happy to play with him in general (and in fact enjoy it), this particular game isn't for me. So I have told him that we either need to change the rules of this game, or I am going to go into another room until he is ready to play something else. I don't think that I'm obligated to do exactly what he wants in terms of play in order to be a good parent. There's tons of other things that we enjoy playing together that we can do instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, that sounds really boring. I wouldn't do it. I have a 4 year old - I am 33 - why would I play 4 year old games? I raise my kids, make sure they are loved, fed, clean, learn about the world, etc.... But I don't really play with them. As a kid I played with my siblings, my neighbors, or by myself - I thought that was usually what kids do?

If you don't play with your kids how do you teach them stuff? How do you encourage their imagination? How do you show them how stuff works, model good manners, sharing, and problem solving? How do you spend quality time with them? To them, play time is the holy grail of quality time.

I can not imagine not playing with my kids.

Quoted PP here. I teach them plenty of things, model good behavior, manners, etc.... We go to museums, walks in the woods, shows, read books, go to church, swim, special events, we talk, eat meals together, etc... I just don't play with them. My kids actually have never even asked me to play. I just don't think I need to encourage imagination as it seems to come naturally to them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, that sounds really boring. I wouldn't do it. I have a 4 year old - I am 33 - why would I play 4 year old games? I raise my kids, make sure they are loved, fed, clean, learn about the world, etc.... But I don't really play with them. As a kid I played with my siblings, my neighbors, or by myself - I thought that was usually what kids do?

It's what the should do provided that they have other playmates, which they often don't have anymore...

Dear god, so many of you need to read a book called Playful Parenting. You kids will really thank for it in the long run. For those of you who don't play with their children, wow!, you sound like no fun at all. How do you expect to form a long lasting connection that with survive as they reach their teens?

Quoted PP here again. I think I just see things differently than you. For example, i would never read a parenting book, each child, family, and situation is different and I prefer to find someone I trust and respect and ask them advice for how they handle different situations with their kids. That way we can have a dynamic conversation. Just as you find it odd that i don't play, I think it is kinda odd for adults to play little kid games.

OP - i think it makes perfect sense a game that would thrill a four year old bores you. It sounds like you need to find her some friends, real or imaginary.

[Anonymous]

Just as you find it odd that i don't play, I think it is kinda odd for adults to play little kid games.

Really, you don't find any of the games kind of fun? Sure, some of them are boring, but some of them I actually enjoy.

[Anonymous]

I play with my 3 year old because I feel immense guilt that she doesn't and likely never will have a sibling. As a kid my parents never played with me and I never asked them to because I always had my sister. I just don't know what to do with an only child. None of my friends have kids. So for DD, it's me or no one. Not interacting with her when there's no one else (and I'm at work all day) seems neglectful.

But I do not enjoy it, if I am perfectly honest. It is tedious and tiring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I play with my 3 year old because I feel immense guilt that she doesn't and likely never will have a sibling. As a kid my parents never played with me and I never asked them to because I always had my sister. I just don't know what to do with an only child. None of my friends have kids. So for DD, it's me or no one. Not interacting with her when there's no one else (and I'm at work all day) seems neglectful.

But I do not enjoy it, if I am perfectly honest. It is tedious and tiring.

I was in a similar situation although I could find ways to play with my son that didnt drive me nuts. It gets easier as they get older. They can at by themselves more (unless they are full blown extroverts who still crave lots of human interaction), there are more playdates, and their interests change and may become something you enjoy more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Just as you find it odd that i don't play, I think it is kinda odd for adults to play little kid games.

Really, you don't find any of the games kind of fun? Sure, some of them are boring, but some of them I actually enjoy.

I have tried to play puzzles and a board games with my oldest, but he just isn't interested yet. I will play hide n seek with him or monster chasing him, etc.... I guess I was just trying to tell the OP that I think it is normal that an adult doesn't find playing little kid games thrilling and not to feel bad for not doing it. There are plenty of other ways to engage with your kids. It isn't like I refuse to play anything with mine, but they generally play by themselves and I don't feel bad about it at all and have never felt the need to insert myself into it. It does sound like her daughter asks her constantly though, so that is different. Also my kids are in daycare, so they have plenty of kids to play with and our evenings and weekends are usually really busy doing stuff and seeing people anyway. My oldest asks me every weekend or day he isn't going to daycare "where are we going today". So maybe the reason my Kidd don't ask me to play with them is also our lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, that sounds really boring. I wouldn't do it. I have a 4 year old - I am 33 - why would I play 4 year old games? I raise my kids, make sure they are loved, fed, clean, learn about the world, etc.... But I don't really play with them. As a kid I played with my siblings, my neighbors, or by myself - I thought that was usually what kids do?

Your post makes me cringe. As if you're one of those moms that pushes her child away when the child comes up for a hug, "No no Johnny, don't wrinkle Mother's expensive skirt."
Awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, that sounds really boring. I wouldn't do it. I have a 4 year old - I am 33 - why would I play 4 year old games? I raise my kids, make sure they are loved, fed, clean, learn about the world, etc.... But I don't really play with them. As a kid I played with my siblings, my neighbors, or by myself - I thought that was usually what kids do?

Your post makes me cringe. As if you're one of those moms that pushes her child away when the child comes up for a hug, "No no Johnny, don't wrinkle Mother's expensive skirt."
Awful.

Quoted PP here again. You are reading way too much from my post. Again, I was just trying to express to the OP that I agree kids play is often boring for adults and not to feel guilty for not enjoying it and to encourage her daughter to play by herself or with other kids. I could care less if I get dirty or my kids spill stuff, make a mess, etc... I make a mess, why wouldn't my kids- who are still learning motor skills and all? How does not playing tea party or Thomas Train for hours equivalent to pushing my kids away when they want a hug?

[Anonymous]

This post makes me laugh. My 4-year old son is going through this exact phase. He always has some long, complicated set of instructions, then tells me "pretend THAT, mom." If I am only half paying attention or don't understand what he's telling me to do, he will repeat the long, complicated instructions and again say "pretend THAT, mom." Pretending "THAT" usually just means that my role is to repeat exactly what he has said. If I present my own ideas, it's completely unacceptable. It's funny, so damn boring, entertaining, and hard to take all at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Haven't read all the posts, but my 4 year old DD does this...I love to play with her and I'm willing to indulge being in charge, BUT she doesn't get to yell at me if I accidentally deviate from script. When she goes bananas because I've not done exactly what she wants, that's when I am out of the game.

[Anonymous]

4:27 thanks for sharing that. Helps to hear it might be a stage rather than a result of her being an only child.

[Anonymous]

The worst is when they yell at you for fumbling the lyrics of some song they learned in school that you've never heard! I mean, gimme a break, boss.

Still, I'll indulge DD in repetitious pretend games to a point. Her deal is mostly food, like she'll prepare a meticulous picnic a few different ways, and my job is to request certain foods and compliment the chef.