Parents of ADHD kids... need advice

[Anonymous]

Just to throw in my two cents: we're in MoCo public in a language immersion program, and my daughter has ADHD. Her K teacher was actually incredibly helpful to us when we were figuring this out last year--she proactively discussed issues, made herself available to our ped if he wanted to talk to her, and also suggested a number of classroom fixes herself to help our daughter out.

DD is in first grade and on meds now. That is a different topic altogether so I won't get too far into it, but there are lots of us on here who have struggled with medicating vs. not medicating, so feel free to ask questions when you get to that point.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Thanks for all the advice... It sounds like public school can be successful. My gut is to try it first and get the accommodations. I will be so sad if he has a miserable experience, but maybe it will work out and I won't have to spend 20K+.... I guess if we start him in K sans meds, we will have a comparison point. Thanks you previous poster for mentioning the meds. What has brought people to the point of trying meds? We feel apprehensive about meds, but are open to it b/c we hear it can be so helpful. But what pushed people to that point? I guess if he is always getting in trouble, we will know it's time. Honestly, I have books and I haven't read all the details so I honestly don't really know the specifics of 504 accommodations. I guess all we care about is that he can move around so the teacher doesn't think it's all behavioral and label him a problem kid. The fact is that he only has a dx of ADHD, but within that, he is rigid, has some anxiety, has a bad temper, can be oppositional to authority (no ODD dx as of yet...) and over-reacts to stuff. So if we start off with public, the hope is 1) that we will KNOW when it's time to try meds 2) The accommodations will actually help the aforementioned issues. This site is so helpful-- just to know that there are others who have really challenging kids. I adore this kid, but he is high maintenance and exhausting! I am a nervous wreck about kindergarten and I wish I could just chill and be decisive (e.g., public vrs. private at this late stage of the game). I try really hard to not show this anxiety, I have lots of info. from conferences/books etc., we've done parent training etc.... but it's exhausting.

[Anonymous]

After observing my 5 y.o. on a field trip and in Karate class, it became worth it for his sake to try them, under careful supervision. It's been 3 months, and we don't regret it at all. He notices the difference, which has been remarkably positive. He has asked to take these meds when he is 6, 7 and an adult. He's like a different (still himself) child to himself, us, and his teachers. I would feel bad knowing what we now know, if he were not on medications. Without meds he was really disabled.

[Anonymous]

Are most of your kids on stimulants? I have heard Kids with anxiety should do non stimulants which are not as effective, right?

[Anonymous]

In answer to the question about private schools that still are accepting applications.

Compass Academy in Halethorpe MD (not MoCo but we do have families that drive to Compass from MOCO and also from the Eastern Shore) has a rolling admissions policy. Further they are having an open house on Sunday (15 April) at 2pm and another one on 6 May at 2pm.

My son was dx'ed with ADHD by Child Find at the age of 4 and we had fairly good services in the public school system for preschool. But as soon as he hit Kindergarten the school system decided (because we had been so proactive) that as he was not 2 years behind he did not qualify for an IEP - then once they pulled the IEP they started to label him a "behavior problem" for issues that were directly related to his ADHD and sensory issues - but as we no longer had an IEP we had no protections .... Public school quickly became a nightmare and we opted out for private and have never regretted it.

[url]http://compassacademymd.org/about-compass-academy.php
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[Anonymous]

PP, did you son still qualify for a 504 plan though?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are most of your kids on stimulants? I have heard Kids with anxiety should do non stimulants which are not as effective, right?

Stimulants can exacerbate anxiety but it doesn't automatically rule them out. My DS started out on a stimulant medication but we saw little benefits and too many negative side effects (significant weight loss and a tic). We saw more improvements with a non-stimulant and no negative side effects. So, in our case, it was the stimulants that weren't as effective. But, as DS gets older and his metabolism and needs change, we would consider stimulants again because they seem to be the most effective treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was dx'ed with ADHD by Child Find at the age of 4 and we had fairly good services in the public school system for preschool. But as soon as he hit Kindergarten the school system decided (because we had been so proactive) that as he was not 2 years behind he did not qualify for an IEP - then once they pulled the IEP they started to label him a "behavior problem" for issues that were directly related to his ADHD and sensory issues - but as we no longer had an IEP we had no protections .... Public school quickly became a nightmare and we opted out for private and have never regretted it.

I'm so sorry you had this experience - it really pisses me off when I hear that a school is basing eligibily strictly on academics. A child does NOT have to be below grade level to qualify for an IEP. Your experience is one of the reasons we work with an educational consultant. We shouldn't have to - nor should you have had to go private.

[Anonymous]

I would also say look into Harbor, Primary Day, Oneness, Lowell, Sheridan, or McLean, which are not specifically special needs schools but can be accommodating.[/quote wrote:

I can only speak to what Lowell is like and I would say that it is not a good fit for an ADHD child that needs a lot of structure, especially at the K level. There are many transitions during the day and that can be hard on non-ADHD kids, and they increase quite a lot as the grades go up. A lot of moving from one task to another, one special to another, one location to another throughout the day ...I know former Lowell families where their child with ADHD did much better when they entered MCPS because the structure was more rigid and easier to follow. I also know from experience that Lowell is not that good about implementing accommodations, they may promise more than they can deliver because they are *not* a school aimed at addressing kids with special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are most of your kids on stimulants? I have heard Kids with anxiety should do non stimulants which are not as effective, right?

Stimulants can exacerbate anxiety but it doesn't automatically rule them out. My DS started out on a stimulant medication but we saw little benefits and too many negative side effects (significant weight loss and a tic). We saw more improvements with a non-stimulant and no negative side effects. So, in our case, it was the stimulants that weren't as effective. But, as DS gets older and his metabolism and needs change, we would consider stimulants again because they seem to be the most effective treatment.

My child is also experiencing tics and is losing weight on Focalin. Do you mind what your DS is taking now, and how it works for him? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

What do people think about Mclean school for ADHD kids?

[Anonymous]

Depends on the child, I guess. My ADHD ds was accepted there for next fall. However, medication has worked very well for him mostly so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are most of your kids on stimulants? I have heard Kids with anxiety should do non stimulants which are not as effective, right?

Stimulants can exacerbate anxiety but it doesn't automatically rule them out. My DS started out on a stimulant medication but we saw little benefits and too many negative side effects (significant weight loss and a tic). We saw more improvements with a non-stimulant and no negative side effects. So, in our case, it was the stimulants that weren't as effective. But, as DS gets older and his metabolism and needs change, we would consider stimulants again because they seem to be the most effective treatment.

My child is also experiencing tics and is losing weight on Focalin. Do you mind what your DS is taking now, and how it works for him? Thanks.

He's now taking Intuniv - he used to take Focalin. We haven't seen the amazing results some people have from stimulants but we do see more improvements with the Intuniv than with the Focalin and none of the side effects. With the Intuniv, he had some initial daytime drowsiness but that went away after a 4-5 days. DS teachers also notice the improvements. We usually start the school year medication free. We give him enough time to settle into the new routine and new teachers and then have them fill out the Vanderbilt which provides us a baseline. We then start the medication and after a couple months on it, we have them fill out another Vanderbilt. It's not a miraculous change but enough to indicate that he is better off with the medication than without. HTH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, did you son still qualify for a 504 plan though?

Not that the school system made me aware of and they were not offering me anything besides telling me that my DC was a discipline problem. From what I have learned since I could and should have fought more for services, but .... just parenting a special needs child and holding down a full time job (and at that time my husband who was in the military was deployed so I was also single Mom'ing it) I was not up to battling the school system and getting a "degree in special ed law" in the hopes that I would hit upon the right mix that would allow my DC to be successful. So I opted out of the system for private (thankfully hubby and I can afford) and have never looked back and never regretted it. My DC is doing great and is growing into a confident young adult who despite limitations is also aware of what he can do. So for us private was definitely the right decision!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP, did you son still qualify for a 504 plan though?

Not that the school system made me aware of and they were not offering me anything besides telling me that my DC was a discipline problem. From what I have learned since I could and should have fought more for services, but .... just parenting a special needs child and holding down a full time job (and at that time my husband who was in the military was deployed so I was also single Mom'ing it) I was not up to battling the school system and getting a "degree in special ed law" in the hopes that I would hit upon the right mix that would allow my DC to be successful. So I opted out of the system for private (thankfully hubby and I can afford) and have never looked back and never regretted it. My DC is doing great and is growing into a confident young adult who despite limitations is also aware of what he can do. So for us private was definitely the right decision!

I'm so glad that your DS is doing well. I'm sorry for your experience with the public schools. That just bites and is so not right. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon. We hired a consultant/advocate to help us but I totally understand why you chose a different path. We just shouldn't have to.