Principal won't answer question

[Anonymous]

You don't actually have a right to this information but if you've gotten to know your child's classmates it should be pretty easy to figure out...but the real question is why? If your child is struggling, they're struggling with the curriculum not with what their peers are doing. In public schools there is usually a wide range of ages in a class. You can't control that nor should you be asking about it. Teachers may say your child is the youngest, oldest or inthe middle and that's about all they should say.

[Anonymous]

Oh bull. The teacher might be covering the same material but if 90% of the kids are having a hard time getting it, she'll be going over it more to make sure most have gotten it. On the other hand, if 90% get it, but OP's kid is one of the few having problems I can see how it might be reassuring in a very young ES grade to know whether part of it might be simply due to his being much younger than the other kids (or vice versa issue). Since presumably some of the wide variation caused by different birthdays will even out a bit as the kids get older. The peer group in the class aboslutely matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the school/principal knowingly let in a number of kids who are much older or younger than the stated cut-off date and it is creating an issue for the OP, then she may have a legitimate issue. This happened to my DC. I just went into the class and looked at the birthday wall (it showed who had birthdays in each month). You can easily discern the birth year by double checking by chatting with parents on the playground.

If it's a public school, the principal doesn't have much say in the matter.

My situation was public school. The principal had "discretion" and allowed kids younger than the cut off. Well this meant that my child was the oldest by about 15-16 months (ability, size, maturity at this young elementary grade were way out of whack because of his choice). It mattered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh bull. The teacher might be covering the same material but if 90% of the kids are having a hard time getting it, she'll be going over it more to make sure most have gotten it. On the other hand, if 90% get it, but OP's kid is one of the few having problems I can see how it might be reassuring in a very young ES grade to know whether part of it might be simply due to his being much younger than the other kids (or vice versa issue). Since presumably some of the wide variation caused by different birthdays will even out a bit as the kids get older. The peer group in the class aboslutely matters.

I disagree completely. Either OP is being nosy (e.g., trying to figure out how many have red-shirted) or there's an issue with the teaching (class moving too fast for OP's kid or too slow). OP should have an open dialogue with the teacher to express her concerns -- if there are any legitimate ones. If it's something as simple as the child being one of the youngest in the class, then the teacher will probably provide this information, but without evading the privacy of the other children in the class.

When we have had assessments with teachers for our child, we are always told how our child is performing relative to the standards set for that age group. If there is any particular concern we have, then we make it known to the teacher, who will either work directly with our child or suggest ways we can work on it with our child at home. There is no need to know the ages of the kids in the class other than sheer nosiness. MYOB OP!

[Anonymous]

OP should just ask her kid who has birthdays in the fall, winter, spring, summer. Who is X and who is X+1 (or X-1)? Don't do the whole class list in one sitting - just a few at a time. Maybe start with OP's kid's friends???

My kid knew everyone's birthdays in Pre-K. It isn't a stretch for them. Kids LOVE birthdays!!!

[Anonymous]

PP- That's fine but if there are kids with spring and summer birthdays, they could be a year older and the OP's child might not know that. It really isn't her business. If her child is struggling, it still isn't her business about the age's of her child's classmates.

[Anonymous]

what the hell difference does it really make? the OP doesn't give a good enough reason for this to be an issue. feels like she's looking for excuses for something but not really saying what it is

[Anonymous]

My kid is one of the oldest. Three of the youngest kids in the class run circles around the rest academically and athletically. A few kids have some documented learning differences. One skipped a grade in another state. One is repeating a grade from another country. Two are quite old but have English as a second or third language. Birthdates are meaningless in judging anything for us and I would not want the school randomly sharing that. This is all info I've cobbled together just from being part of the class for years.

[Anonymous]

OP,

You don't say if you suspect that your child may be the oldest/youngest in the class. But if so, I understand why you might want that info; I have found such info quite relevant in assessing my child's progress and social interactions. My early elementary DS has a late summer birthday, and I am always keen to find out if he is the absolute youngest in his class. Have never queried via email. I can usually find out by looking at the birthday chart in the classroom. If not, it's also possible to find out by talking to other parents -- parents of children with late summer/September birthdays usually seek one another out to compare notes. As another poster indicated, it's also possible to pose the question -- in general terms -- during a meeting with the teacher on the full range of issues relating to DC's experience at school. All of DC's teachers have acknowledged that this question is valid, and have been willing to discuss. I am finding the age difference has less of an impact each year.

[Anonymous]

If people are interested in knowing their child's achievement, the appropriate measure is a milestone matrix or standardized testing. I wish people would stop trying to compare their kids to others around them. We should be minding our own business and not competing with others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm interested in knowing where my son's birthday falls in relation to his classmates. Sent an email to the teacher, who forwarded it the principal, who responded without any information - referring me to student services. Student services won't know the answer to this. I was surprised by the response - Is a principal unable to give information like this? I wasn't asking for names, of course.

for what purpose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If people are interested in knowing their child's achievement, the appropriate measure is a milestone matrix or standardized testing. I wish people would stop trying to compare their kids to others around them. We should be minding our own business and not competing with others.

The issue is when classroom teachers expect certain performance from their students, based on the class they happen to have that year.

If very few of the children can form letters and space words correctly, then the teachers will slow down and reteach handwriting for example. But if you have a class full of mostly older children, you might not have so many children who can't do that; so it is natural for a teacher, especially a new one, to think that all kids in her class should be able to do something ... and the few younger children just can't keep up -- even if they are the right age for their grade.

Many times I have read on this forum of parents with children who were receiving criticism from classroom teachers for being immature, when in fact they were just young for their grade, but correctly placed -- but the grad had many red shirted children in it, making the teacher not realize how much younger the child was compared with the rest of his grade peers.

[Anonymous]

PP again -- just for th record -- I'm not OP and I don't know what his or her reason was for requesting this information.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If people are interested in knowing their child's achievement, the appropriate measure is a milestone matrix or standardized testing. I wish people would stop trying to compare their kids to others around them. We should be minding our own business and not competing with others.

ITA. If you have a concern about how your child is performing, take it up with the teacher. This constant need of parents to compare their children, which is essentially a version of one-upping each other (it's akin to comparing salaries in my book), is the reason why I tread very carefully when making new friends. As for the old friends who do this, they see less and less of me as time goes by. My kid is my kid. So long as the teacher is telling me she's on track for her age, then I don't worry.

[Anonymous]

teachers are actually quite good at knowing what's developomentally appropriate and what's not no matter what the peer group. Some of you seem to think they can't distinguish the difference between difficulties that are age related or maturity related with actual learning difficulties. Please give your teachers some credit or change schools. There are so many schools (Montessori and the multi age classes at Cap. City) where kids could be as much as 3 years apart in age. The OP seems to be equating some kind of age discrepency with her child's performance in class and if she just knew how many kids were older or younger she could sort this mess out. Is there really a mess? does the teacher think there's a mess? Get a grip and let the professionals do their job.