redshirting questions

[Anonymous]

I am thinking of red-shirting my son, who has a late August birthday. He is intellectually as smart as other children in his daycare class, but he is so tiny physically (5th percentile for his age) that it makes me worry for him. He looks so little compared to the other children his age. My husband is opposed to the idea because DS is a bright little boy, and will probably do just fine academically in kindergarden. I'm just worried about the "Lord of the Flies" type behavior referenced in the prior post.

[Anonymous]

Why not place him where he is supposed to be and evaluate after a year or two? Holding him back with no other issues isn't going to change his size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am thinking of red-shirting my son, who has a late August birthday. He is intellectually as smart as other children in his daycare class, but he is so tiny physically (5th percentile for his age) that it makes me worry for him. He looks so little compared to the other children his age. My husband is opposed to the idea because DS is a bright little boy, and will probably do just fine academically in kindergarden. I'm just worried about the "Lord of the Flies" type behavior referenced in the prior post.

I'm the Lord of the Flies poster --- and I have a boy who started kinder. this year after just turning 5 at the end of July (10th percentile for weight). Son is doing fine. He made a friend at the beginning of the year who turned 6 in Sept. More recently DS has been running away from this older boy. Finally found out that the older boy is calling him names like "chicken head" and such. The older boy is a good kid, but I think he thinks its a hoot to see my child react. The older boy is seeing that he can dominate. Teacher will be re-visiting the talk about calling names and hurting others. Not a big deal.

I've also seen it with a neighbor boy who is smart as a tack and clearly ahead of classmates on a social-intelligence level. (he was a early Aug. bday held back). He has a tendency to take advantage of his little sibling and my DS and draw them into activities and then hurt them b/c he is smarter than they are and they younger ones are trusting. I think if this boy was with the grade he was supposed to be in, he would have met kids who are his equal/match and then he might not be so accustomed to out-smarting, out-playing, taking advantage of younger kids.

"The Lord of the Flies" domination is going to happen when olders mix with youngers. Schools, teachers, parents, kids all need to be watching for it and using strategies for stopping it or even ignoring it (depending on the level). They do teach this at my kids' public school. I don't think this alone is worth holding back a child who is ready to move on. It was something we wrestled with, but ultimately, that was our conclusion.

[Anonymous]

I have a relative who held their summer birthday boy back so now he is a 7 yr old in Kindergarten. Yeah, he is a "leader" and lords over the other 5 yr olds. Can read, do math... he should be in 2nd grade!

The teachers and principal at his preschool when he was 3 had wanted him evaluated for social issues but instead of doing that they kept him in preK for 3 yrs so he can mature out of his issues so now they have a older child with relatively poor social skills for his age. I feel bad for him and wonder what it's going to be like when he is a 13 yr old in 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a relative who held their summer birthday boy back so now he is a 7 yr old in Kindergarten. Yeah, he is a "leader" and lords over the other 5 yr olds. Can read, do math... he should be in 2nd grade!

The teachers and principal at his preschool when he was 3 had wanted him evaluated for social issues but instead of doing that they kept him in preK for 3 yrs so he can mature out of his issues so now they have a older child with relatively poor social skills for his age. I feel bad for him and wonder what it's going to be like when he is a 13 yr old in 6th grade.

This makes no sense unless he was held back twice. If he has a summer birthday and was held back once, he'd have turned six last summer and be only a bit older than most (like, less than 6 months).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Make me puke. Your kid can't hack it with his cohort, so you pack him with younger kids to make him feel better. Bravo for you. I hope your first grader continues to enjoy kindergarten.[/[/b]quote]
You really should see someone about your anger issues. That's something you can control. [/quote

she is right, 100% right!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous[b wrote:]Make me puke. Your kid can't hack it with his cohort, so you pack him with younger kids to make him feel better. Bravo for you. I hope your first grader continues to enjoy kindergarten.[/[/b]quote]
You really should see someone about your anger issues. That's something you can control. [/quote

she is right, 100% right!!!!!

OOPS, I meant to bold the first post-I agree with her-- I too hope your first grader enjoys K

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a relative who held their summer birthday boy back so now he is a 7 yr old in Kindergarten. Yeah, he is a "leader" and lords over the other 5 yr olds. Can read, do math... he should be in 2nd grade!

The teachers and principal at his preschool when he was 3 had wanted him evaluated for social issues but instead of doing that they kept him in preK for 3 yrs so he can mature out of his issues so now they have a older child with relatively poor social skills for his age. I feel bad for him and wonder what it's going to be like when he is a 13 yr old in 6th grade.

This makes no sense unless he was held back twice. If he has a summer birthday and was held back once, he'd have turned six last summer and be only a bit older than most (like, less than 6 months).

Held back twice. PreK then 2 yrs of Montessori before entering K.