Rethinking Circumcision for my son...

[Anonymous]

sorry, I don't get it. You made a choice. A good one in my opinion. One that can be reversed. But honestly? At this point I would leave it up to your son. I just don't think it is your choice anymore. Especially since now that he is older it would have to be done under general anesthesia so it is not as minor anymore.

When he is a teenager and complains about not being circ'ed you could offer him to get it done then.

For what it's worth, I deeply regret having had my son circumsized.

[Anonymous]

And, yes, I do know that my DH is circumcised.

But my father in law...no idea. Thank GOD.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP...it's your son's body now and his choice when he's older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For what it's worth, I deeply regret having had my son circumsized.

You need to not regret this. It is done. Talk to someone. For your son's sake, who I hope does not pick up on your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For what it's worth, I deeply regret having had my son circumsized.

You need to not regret this. It is done. Talk to someone. For your son's sake, who I hope does not pick up on your feelings.

theres no point in regretting whats done...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And, yes, I do know that my DH is circumcised.

But my father in law...no idea. Thank GOD.

haha yeah I learned things about peoples penises I never needed to know when we hashed out the circing or not circing of my son

[Anonymous]

Huh? PP here. My son lost almost 1/3 of his blood after the procedure. The only reason we had him circumsized was because we were told it may lower his risks for another urinary tract infection, which at that point had kept him in the NICU for another 2 weeks.

So that's why I regret it. I wished I wouldn't have listened to them, because he required a blood transfusion. No telling what would have happened had we taken him home already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may feel better knowing that men who are not circ have more sensitiving down there so they experience more sensation while having sex.
I have read this but also was told this by a friend who was dissapointed that her boyfriend had to get circ later in life (some medical issue) because she thought he had enjoyed their sex life more before. So that's another perspective for you to consider if his future sexual enjoyment is of concern to you.

Also, anecdotal evidence aside, in studies utilizing the feedback from adult males both before and after circumcision, the subjects have reported no difference, FYI. This is a favorite refrain, but there is absolutely no proof this this is true or false.

More anecdotal evidence: I am a woman and I have had sex, and oral sex, with men both circumcised and intact. My husband is intact, as are all the men in my family (and no, I have not had sex with any of my relatives!) In my experience, intact men have much more intense and longer orgasms than circumcised men- more like a female orgasm. I never had any issue with any sexual acts with intact men; in fact, I really enjoyed experiencing their more intense reactions to my ministrations. So your son's sex life won't suffer if he is left intact, unless he meets only very close-minded American women. But of course, by the time he gets to having sex, he will never know any different from whichever choice you make now and he'll love it just as much as any man whatever the state of his foreskin.

Also, no intact man I know or any of their female partners has ever had any health issues arising from his foreskin. Basic hygiene and safe sex will prevent any problems, just like for women.

I have absolutely no idea whether the men in my family are circumcised--probably because, honestly, who gives a crap?

On what occasion does this generally come up? Holiday dinners?

Why does anyone actually have this information????

for me it came up when we were deciding whether to circ or not and believe me its not that I asked lol

[Anonymous]

OP, I didn't circumcise my son. I don't regret it; he's 3 and very few of his friends are circumcised that I know of. I'm pretty sure that the trend of not circumcising except for religious reasons is even stronger among parents with more education, so I don't think, in the DC area, that he will feel at all odd among his peers. I'm a psychologist and I would worry greatly about circumcising at 3, when it will be painful and he will remember it. I agree with the PPs who said you made your choice at birth and need to be comfortable with that now, until your son can make his own and possibly different choice as an adult. The psychological implications of this are pretty important, especially at this developmental stage. It's not appropriate, in my view, to circumcise now, when there's no medical reason to, and to therefore give your son the idea that there's something wrong with his penis the way it is. Please think about this fully and nondefensively, and without projecting your own issues onto your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP...it's your son's body now and his choice when he's older.

I agree with this pp. I can understand your ambivalence then and now. But to consider what is now a more complicated procedure with higher risks for the sake of anecdotally based projections about his experience of oral sex as an adult is really distorted thinking, imho. He can make an informed decision when he reaches adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Beyond the looks part, sexual part...there is the health part. My son was circumcised and when he was 5 months old he was diagnosed with a kidney condition. The Dr who is the top Dr in this field in DC said it was good that he was circumcised as it would help ward off the UTIs that he could get with this condition. I never regretting doing it and under the circumstances that came along 5 months down the road I still know I made the right decision health wise.

[Anonymous]

its not healthy or cleaner to be circed .... the medical assiation has even withdrew then recommendation to circ

[Anonymous]

a husband here who just picked up this thread b/c my wife left it up on the screen... This is hilarious, and I know it's not meant to be and it's really a difficult decision (it was for us anyway), but really if someone put this string on conan o'brien or something it would get a lot of laughs.

I'm circ'd (or unintact, ouch), my 2-year old son is "intact" (lucky kid I guess), and we haven't regretted that decision at all. Agree wholeheartedly with PP who said Dad and Son's privates really never look alike, of course they don't b/c of age difference, and presumably the viewing of them in the same context is happening before he is 10 or so, because after that I really was not interested in seeing my dad's penis, and especially as the years go on!

I never knew guys weren't circ'd until I got to college and saw some Europeans on the track team in the showers. And even then, I never gave it much thought. Guys like sex, and with or without foreskin you have the tool to do it, so no problems there. And BTW I don't think it's weird to have this discussion, or weird to hope for the best for your child's sex life, one way or another.

I just don't understand why people are still doing it when there's no science to back it up anymore... But you have to decide for yourself. Good luck!

mom here: If a girl doesn't want to give my son a bj or have sex with him because he isn't circ'd and if that is her standard for judging her partners, then forget her. He can do better than a girl like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You may feel better knowing that men who are not circ have more sensitiving down there so they experience more sensation while having sex.
I have read this but also was told this by a friend who was dissapointed that her boyfriend had to get circ later in life (some medical issue) because she thought he had enjoyed their sex life more before. So that's another perspective for you to consider if his future sexual enjoyment is of concern to you.

THANK GOD my Husband is circumsised based on the above "facts". He is soooo horney all the time and cums really fast. If he were anymore sensitive he would turn into a 1 second man!

I have a REALLY hard time with this arguement. I have yet to have sex with a man who did not enjoy it enough to want it over and over again! I mean come on, lets get a better arguement against cir than this....no one's buying it.

The above comment wasn't an argument to not cirn but a comment I'd pass along given the mention of her son's future sex life.
As for the percentage of men who are vs are not. It seems like more parents are going the non-circ route these days then in the past so in 20 years from now the percentage of men who aren't will be higher than it is now. I wouldn't do it just as a way to "fit it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:a husband here who just picked up this thread b/c my wife left it up on the screen... This is hilarious, and I know it's not meant to be and it's really a difficult decision (it was for us anyway), but really if someone put this string on conan o'brien or something it would get a lot of laughs.

I'm circ'd (or unintact, ouch), my 2-year old son is "intact" (lucky kid I guess), and we haven't regretted that decision at all. Agree wholeheartedly with PP who said Dad and Son's privates really never look alike, of course they don't b/c of age difference, and presumably the viewing of them in the same context is happening before he is 10 or so, because after that I really was not interested in seeing my dad's penis, and especially as the years go on!

I never knew guys weren't circ'd until I got to college and saw some Europeans on the track team in the showers. And even then, I never gave it much thought. Guys like sex, and with or without foreskin you have the tool to do it, so no problems there. And BTW I don't think it's weird to have this discussion, or weird to hope for the best for your child's sex life, one way or another.

I just don't understand why people are still doing it when there's no science to back it up anymore... But you have to decide for yourself. Good luck!

mom here: If a girl doesn't want to give my son a bj or have sex with him because he isn't circ'd and if that is her standard for judging her partners, then forget her. He can do better than a girl like that.

Nice to get a man's perspective. (I agree with this too.)