s/o - DC privates are not filled with gifted kids

[Anonymous]

at my own child's school, the teachers I've encountered are all pretty clear and blunt about the fact they differentiate significantly. They say that's one of the main points of having a low student:teacher ratio, so they can ensure each individual child is being appropriately challenged.

It would be great if you would say the name of this school. I have a strong feeling it's not in D.C./Md/Va.

(which is fine, I guess, but I always wonder why parents from Marin Country Day School pipe up on these threads? I don't cruise the Berkeley Parents Network site to gloat that Yes, we actually do belong to a warm, inclusive synagogue. Of course, it's 3,400 miles from where you live but I just wanted to insert here that such a thing exists)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will take a hard-working smart child over a gifted child any day--and I have a gifted child! I know a handful of adults who are off the charts smart, but time and again the harder working person really gets more done and more accomplished. Even socially I think there is a point when you can be too smart but all the parents now just want the most gifted child there is. I have only ever met two profoundly gifted children (reading at two, reading Japanese, advanced math at three for one of them and the other went to Harvard at 14 or 15, I can't remember) and no school would take the first one because they could not accommodate her needs. Socially it's been very difficult for both of them. The first is now at a place that is tailoring a curriculum just for her. Who needs it! (Although thank goodness it exists for her.) Better to be well rounded, imo. Why all the talk about giftedness. What happened to just a bunch of smart kids and some are smarter than others?

(Typing quickly so sorry if too random...)[/quote

I agree completely that hard work, resilience and persistence are as or more important in determining life success and satisfaction. Children who skate through school with no effort (like the kids we're talking about here) never get the chance to learn how to work hard, how to fail and try again. For me, that's why its so important that they are adequately challenged. It is the challenge that is teaching the important life skill, not learning how to do fractions a couple of years early.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will take a hard-working smart child over a gifted child any day--and I have a gifted child! I know a handful of adults who are off the charts smart, but time and again the harder working person really gets more done and more accomplished. Even socially I think there is a point when you can be too smart but all the parents now just want the most gifted child there is. I have only ever met two profoundly gifted children (reading at two, reading Japanese, advanced math at three for one of them and the other went to Harvard at 14 or 15, I can't remember) and no school would take the first one because they could not accommodate her needs. Socially it's been very difficult for both of them. The first is now at a place that is tailoring a curriculum just for her. Who needs it! (Although thank goodness it exists for her.) Better to be well rounded, imo. Why all the talk about giftedness. What happened to just a bunch of smart kids and some are smarter than others?

(Typing quickly so sorry if too random...)

I think you make OP's point. The thought is that DC private schools, too, would pick a hard-working smart child over a gifted child any day.

Why all the talk about giftedness? As a parent, I didn't get to pick a hard-working smart child over my highly gifted child. Yes, my kid may have troubles socially, and yes, I worried that no school would take him. (We went public.) I understand your point that parents may strive too much to have gifted kids, but the reality is, we as parents can't change the make-up of our kids. We can push them too hard, or not offer them enough support, or all manner of parenting errors, but we can't tip them up into a higher category of giftedness (or down into a lower category) even if we want to. Posts like this one exist because parents are stuck with the kids they're stuck with, and they're trying to find the right school fit for them.

[Anonymous]

Differentiation is a concept that doesn't make much sense if your pedagogy is already progressive and/or if your approach is to teach in ways that are designed to address and develop a variety of different learning styles. Arguably, it's not the teachers who differentiate; the kids do it themselves by picking up on and exploring different aspects of teaching practices that emphasize and encourage both breadth and depth of learning.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Thank you for this thread - it's been an interesting read. And now a question for parents of older gifted children:

In the DC area, what path worked best to meet your child's needs? At what age did school become academically focused enough that there was no longer challenge for your child, and what solution worked best to deal with this? Did you use outside activities (sports, music, etc.) to try and provide the challenge / experience of failure if school didn't provide it?

My child is pre-elementary, and while we obviously don't know yet if she is officially 'gifted', there are indications that she will be quite advanced academically. And to be clear, it is not specific 'academic' skills that we are concerned about. Rather, as a PP alluded to, I am concerned that she be given the chance to fail, that she not tie her identity up in being 'smart' so far that she is afraid to ask for help when needed, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please stop being aggressive. It isn't nice or productive. I haven't read anything belligerent or victim-like on this thread (or frankly, on the other one.) You clearly have a different view, and that's ok, but let's keep the tone civil.

It seems are so angry that you not reading the posts. If you read my post above (the one that references "all the animosity"), you would see that I am not in fact NOT talking about profoundy gifted kids, but rather the kids in the 130-140 range (this is 98-99%).

Signed,
The PP who posted 11:31

Pot meet kettle. Yikes. Looks like none of the points about the behavior on that other thread (which WAS derailed to talk about 99.9%) have been taken on board. Too bad. Carry on as you were.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree completely that hard work, resilience and persistence are as or more important in determining life success and satisfaction. Children who skate through school with no effort (like the kids we're talking about here) never get the chance to learn how to work hard, how to fail and try again. For me, that's why its so important that they are adequately challenged. It is the challenge that is teaching the important life skill, not learning how to do fractions a couple of years early.

I love this post. This is really the heart of the matter and what will keep parents of gifted kids up at night. The life skills that come from challenge, hard work, success, failure, and perserverance! That is why it's important to give these kids (and all kids) a good academic sweat! We don't want our children working 3 years above grade level simply because they can or because we want to brag about it. We want it because the challenge is the reward and the reward is the life skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

at my own child's school, the teachers I've encountered are all pretty clear and blunt about the fact they differentiate significantly. They say that's one of the main points of having a low student:teacher ratio, so they can ensure each individual child is being appropriately challenged.

It would be great if you would say the name of this school. I have a strong feeling it's not in D.C./Md/Va.

(which is fine, I guess, but I always wonder why parents from Marin Country Day School pipe up on these threads? I don't cruise the Berkeley Parents Network site to gloat that Yes, we actually do belong to a warm, inclusive synagogue. Of course, it's 3,400 miles from where you live but I just wanted to insert here that such a thing exists)

It's Sidwell Friends.

[Anonymous]

Yes, please, for your own peace of mind as well as ours. Since some of you got such a negative reaction on the peeve thread when you introduced 99.999th pctile kids, you need to ask whether everybody hates these kids, or maybe you're doing something wrong. Please, think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please stop being aggressive. It isn't nice or productive. I haven't read anything belligerent or victim-like on this thread (or frankly, on the other one.) You clearly have a different view, and that's ok, but let's keep the tone civil.

It seems are so angry that you not reading the posts. If you read my post above (the one that references "all the animosity"), you would see that I am not in fact NOT talking about profoundy gifted kids, but rather the kids in the 130-140 range (this is 98-99%).

Signed,
The PP who posted 11:31

Pot meet kettle. Yikes. Looks like none of the points about the behavior on that other thread (which WAS derailed to talk about 99.9%) have been taken on board. Too bad. Carry on as you were.

Actually I'm the OP of this thread and I was referring to 130-140 kids and not PG kids. I was referring to 130-140 kids on the other thread as well. The PP you were quoting was actually reading the posts. Carrying on!.......

[Anonymous]

Differentiation is a concept that doesn't make much sense if your pedagogy is already progressive and/or if your approach is to teach in ways that are designed to address and develop a variety of different learning styles. Arguably, it's not the teachers who differentiate; the kids do it themselves by picking up on and exploring different aspects

I respectfully disagree with this assertion, based on our experience in one of the area's mostly progressive, competitive-entry private schools.

The reason: there must always be a ceiling. The sky isn't the limit during class time, due to understandable constraints such as the materials that are available to "explore." There is a necessary limit on the books, maps, microscopes, whatever that are made available during a given 50-minute bloc.

My own child hits the limit, if you will, quite frequently in subjects like science and social studies. Here he is (again, very understandably) not allowed to go off and conduct his own experiments using rare/expensive/potentially dangerous materials -- just because the mood overtakes him and he wants to investigate further. So he sits and twiddles his thumbs while the (very good) teacher explains mass > liquid > vapor at a reasonable pace to the others. Again.

[Anonymous]

You would think that the country would be in a better place given how many "gifted" kids everyone has in this area! Maybe the testing is too easy. How nice it would be if everyone tested back down in the average range so we wouldn't feel that our children were so precious and underchallenged!

[Anonymous]

Do you think that your child should NEVER be bored in class? I ask this will all seriousness. I think that so many helicopter parents think that their children must be catered to at all moments so that their desires will be met at every moment.

The thing about going to a school is that your child is part of a community of learners. That's right, a community. You go to class with a number of children, and you have to learn as part of a group. There will be times when your highly gifted child will be bored, and there will be times when she is challenged. Your child must learn how to be engaged with the material, to a certain extent, on her own. She can learn to raise her hand and ask questions. Your child will also be learning, as part of a group, how some kids understand the material in different ways. I think that it is important that children, especially gifted ones, how to negotiate an environment with normal kids.

Have you never been to a meeting where you already know the information being presented, but have to sit there anyway? It's not completely a waste of time, despite what people say, it's part of being a community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that your child should NEVER be bored in class? I ask this will all seriousness. I think that so many helicopter parents think that their children must be catered to at all moments so that their desires will be met at every moment.

The thing about going to a school is that your child is part of a community of learners. That's right, a community. You go to class with a number of children, and you have to learn as part of a group. There will be times when your highly gifted child will be bored, and there will be times when she is challenged. Your child must learn how to be engaged with the material, to a certain extent, on her own. She can learn to raise her hand and ask questions. Your child will also be learning, as part of a group, how some kids understand the material in different ways. I think that it is important that children, especially gifted ones, how to negotiate an environment with normal kids.

Have you never been to a meeting where you already know the information being presented, but have to sit there anyway? It's not completely a waste of time, despite what people say, it's part of being a community.

I get what you're saying. But, imagine if that meeting lasted all day and every day. You would likely seek employment elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that your child should NEVER be bored in class? I ask this will all seriousness. I think that so many helicopter parents think that their children must be catered to at all moments so that their desires will be met at every moment.

The thing about going to a school is that your child is part of a community of learners. That's right, a community. You go to class with a number of children, and you have to learn as part of a group. There will be times when your highly gifted child will be bored, and there will be times when she is challenged. Your child must learn how to be engaged with the material, to a certain extent, on her own. She can learn to raise her hand and ask questions. Your child will also be learning, as part of a group, how some kids understand the material in different ways. I think that it is important that children, especially gifted ones, how to negotiate an environment with normal kids.

Have you never been to a meeting where you already know the information being presented, but have to sit there anyway? It's not completely a waste of time, despite what people say, it's part of being a community.

I get what you're saying. But, imagine if that meeting lasted all day and every day. You would likely seek employment elsewhere.

Rare is the child who is highly gifted in every single subject area. I seriously doubt a gifted child would be bored at our Big 3 all day, every day.