Back to School Night gripe

[Anonymous]

our dcps did not communicate whether or not children were welcome. they did not provide childcare. we didn't bring dd because we knew from our charter last year that BTSN was intended to be child free. our charter last year provided childcare, btw.

[Anonymous]

I'm a new YY PK parent, and I'm glad there are no kids on BTSN. I have a lot of questions, I'd like to hear what the teachers and admin have to say, and I'd love to poke around the parts of the building I haven't seen yet. Having my 4yo and 2yo (much less everyone else's!) there with me would definitely make it really hard to focus! DH and I either plan to get a sitter or have one of us stay home with the kids. Just like my parents did for BTSN 30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Wow, gee, I don't remember what my parents did for childcare for me when i was three because I was, you know, 3. Well, actually, that's not true as 30 years ago, we didn't go to school til we were 5.

Nor do I remember what it was called, at any point in my public school career. And in my area of the country, I do remeber there were some meetings just my mom would go to, and I do also remember nights we'd be at school to show our parents our work - they'd get a schedule of our day, and go around with us to each of our classes, and we'd show off the work we had so carefully set up earlier that day during class. So that must have been middle school.

It doesn't help to say this is exactlyt he same as it's been for the past 40 years. Because, news flash, the world is a different place than it was 40 or even 20 years ago. Expectations of parents is completely different. My father wasn't too involved in my schooling, it was all my mom, but you better believe my husband attends as much stuff at school as I do. My mom had a hard time getting to stuff without kids because my dad worked shift work, OH, except that my grandparents lived right down the road. My mom didn't work outside the home ever during my school years, but now there are more families with 2 fulltime working parents. Etc.

Let's not forget we have an entire school system modeled on a 19th century agrarian society. I actually like things like summers off and 6 hour days, and have changed my entire career path to accommodate, though I still work (and my husband has structured his more than fulltime job to be able to be there for the kids, too). But ultimately, the model we use, though it has been tweaked A LOT over the years, is not based on the world in which we live.

Anyone who sticks in a just like it was when we were kids argument is just being a jerk, to be honest. Right, of course, what a dolt, everything in schools is exactly like it was 30 years ago, how silly of me for wanting clear instructions.

On another note, I think we need a term for how quickly any thread goes before a negative mention of YY occurs.

[Anonymous]

14:09: Great post. When my parents went to my first BTS night, I was 6, and they left me at home with my 9-year sister to look after me. Things have changed a lot since then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On another note, I think we need a term for how quickly any thread goes before a negative mention of YY occurs.

I propose "Mao Score," measured in pages. This thread has a Mao Score of 1.9 pages (pretty high, I think--so many threads score <1).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our school provided care and parents were asked to contribute $5, optional.

Ours too. Love our school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our school provided care and parents were asked to contribute $5, optional.

Ours too. Love our school.

I should mention, it was organized and paid for by the PTA, and contributions were voluntary. You can argue over whether DCPS should or shouldn't spring for sitters till the cows come home, but sometimes you've got to pack your own chute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:On another note, I think we need a term for how quickly any thread goes before a negative mention of YY occurs.

I propose "Mao Score," measured in pages. This thread has a Mao Score of 1.9 pages (pretty high, I think--so many threads score <1).

LOVE this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were parents at 2 different prescools prior to dcps and back-to-school nights were always parent only. This is customary for all schools. (preschool, private, and dcps). I bet the confused parents are new to the whole school thing (????)

OP here. This is pretty funny since I have three children, and my two older kids have graduated already. I've also been a teacher for 12 years. In all those years, my kid's schools have provided a child care option or allowed kids. Most of those years were spent in a different state and the district wanted to promote family participation. My youngest went to a different DCPS school last year and attended back to school with her father, as did most of her classmates, since I was at my own back to school that night, where several of my 11th graders came with their parents. I just think its funny that someone would make the assumption that because their pre-schools weren't sensitive to parents needs that is "customary for all schools."

[Anonymous]

13:46 here. 14:09, Sorry if you think I'm a jerk. It wasn't my intention. You and I might actually have a lot in common. I work, but have also structured my life to be able to there for my kids at the end of a 6 hour day, and my husband also staggers his schedule to have more time to spend with them.

No, I wasn't in school when I was three, but I have older siblings, and I'm fairly certain I wasn't going to back to school night with my parents. And, yes, where I grew up, I specifically remember Back to School Night when I was in grade school. I remember our teacher's having us draw pictures to leave in our desks for our parents, and being so excited when my parents brought them home. I remember teenage babysitters and later my older siblings watching me.

I guess the last sentence of my post distracted from what I intended to be my point, which was that I personally don't want my kids w/ me for this event. I'd like to be able to focus, not something that is easy for me with my 4yo trying to drag me around the room, and my 2yo begging to be picked up and probably wiping her nose on me. I don't think it's silly to want clear instructions. But when we're unclear on something, I think we should go to the source and ask the question. IE "Hi, Teacher/Principal Jones' this is Bobby's mom. I know that back to school night is coming up, and I didn't see anything on the flyer about childcare. Is this a kids event or no-kids event?" And the do our best in this crazy hectic life to do the best we can to attend or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You'll find YY has a pretty crappy attitude about bringing your kids along. Whether it's to put IKEA furniture together, back to school night, or bringing younger siblings to student portfolio presentations, you get a fair amount of push back.

It's not the most kid-friendly environment. The admin regularly forgets that they are supposed to like children.

I wish Yu Ying could take a lesson from 9:39 and roll with it. The Chinese always include the whole family, including grandparents. Too bad YY couldn't aim for that sort of cultural integrity to the program.

oh grow up or get out. jeez. you had 'em, now figure it out and stop making this a school issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, gee, I don't remember what my parents did for childcare for me when i was three because I was, you know, 3. Well, actually, that's not true as 30 years ago, we didn't go to school til we were 5.

Nor do I remember what it was called, at any point in my public school career. And in my area of the country, I do remeber there were some meetings just my mom would go to, and I do also remember nights we'd be at school to show our parents our work - they'd get a schedule of our day, and go around with us to each of our classes, and we'd show off the work we had so carefully set up earlier that day during class. So that must have been middle school.

It doesn't help to say this is exactlyt he same as it's been for the past 40 years. Because, news flash, the world is a different place than it was 40 or even 20 years ago. Expectations of parents is completely different. My father wasn't too involved in my schooling, it was all my mom, but you better believe my husband attends as much stuff at school as I do. My mom had a hard time getting to stuff without kids because my dad worked shift work, OH, except that my grandparents lived right down the road. My mom didn't work outside the home ever during my school years, but now there are more families with 2 fulltime working parents. Etc.

Let's not forget we have an entire school system modeled on a 19th century agrarian society. I actually like things like summers off and 6 hour days, and have changed my entire career path to accommodate, though I still work (and my husband has structured his more than fulltime job to be able to be there for the kids, too). But ultimately, the model we use, though it has been tweaked A LOT over the years, is not based on the world in which we live.

Anyone who sticks in a just like it was when we were kids argument is just being a jerk, to be honest. Right, of course, what a dolt, everything in schools is exactly like it was 30 years ago, how silly of me for wanting clear instructions.

On another note, I think we need a term for how quickly any thread goes before a negative mention of YY occurs.

This is actually a myth. Farmers needed their kids to work in the spring and fall, not the summer. We probably should have year-round schools for elementary kids, but this is not the reason we don;t have school in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Just another perspective on the childcare issue-I agree it would be convenient, however I used to teach in a large ES (700 students-not including their younger siblings) and FAR more parents show up to BTSN than any other event all year. One year, our school attempted to offer childcare for children age 3 and up. There were 300 children who showed up. In what space within a school (when all the classrooms are occupied) would you suggest teenagers safely supervise hundreds of kids? It's not realistic to expect that people will be responsible enough to sign up ahead of time. Trust me. Providing childcare on BTSN in a large school is nearly impossible to do responsibly.

[Anonymous]

Come on people, you gotta start being innovative. Drop your kids off at Chuck-e-cheese and go to the btsn!

[Anonymous]

BTSN has never included children.

Parents owe it to their kids to make arrangements for childcare. You want to be involved in your kid's school? Get a babysitter and show up.

Why should the school care more about making it easy for you to meet your responsibility to your kids than you seem to care?