Independent School Teacher Pet Peeve Thread

[Anonymous]

why can everyone bitch about their biglaw jobs but i cant bitch about mine??????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get #3. There may be times when there is an issue that is affecting the child's life at school -- academically, socially or whatever -- that he or she is embarrassed to bring to the teacher's attention, but its important enough that the parents think the teacher should know. How is that wrong? For example, "my DS has a terrible phobia about . . .," or "There is a child who is threatening mine, but she doesn't want me to day anything . . ." I could go on and on.

I am the OP. Point taken re: above post -- there are definitely lots of times it is appropriate for the parent to bring a confidential concern to the teacher's attention, and I didn't mean to be dismissive of such a situation. I was indeed trying to highlight the type of calls where the kid would be embarrassed because the complaint is really goofy or unjustified or the type of thing (playing time on a sports team, why a paper got a B and not an A) that a child needs to learn to handle as part of growing up.

I started the thread to have a little fun in classic DCUM style -- some truth, some snark, some humor, all while blowing off a little steam. I do love teaching and also believe that collectively the parents at my school are doing it right because the kids are really pretty great. Even for the highest intensity parents, I do realize they are trying to do the best they can for their child and know that engagement (even engagement that keeps me on my phone for hours!) is better than neglect.

Lastly, I could start a thread entitled "Nice things independent school parents have done" (and I'd have some stuff to put down) but this being DCUM it would get about 2 total views!

[Anonymous]

#15). We are spending $30K+ to send our child here for Kindergarten. What guarantees can you make to us that she will be admitted into Harvard?

WTH????????? Yes, this is very true!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#15). We are spending $30K+ to send our child here for Kindergarten. What guarantees can you make to us that she will be admitted into Harvard?

WTH????????? Yes, this is very true!!!!!

Just remember, dear teacher, the neurotic, desperate Ivy-fixation fantasies of these parents keeps you employed. No one really thinks K, 1st, 2nd, etc. is objectively worth $30k, rather, parents want you to give their kids the much sought-after "unfair advantage." Ridiculous, yes, but playing into this fixation is the gig you have chosen. It must feel smarmy most days.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I'd love to see a thread about what parents can do to show their appreciation to teachers and work with them as partners. Not trying to be a Pollyanna here -- we have 4 kids and have had our share of teachers who were burned out or barely competent, but, for the most part, my kids' teachers have been generous, good-natured, dedicated and resourceful. Whenever people ask me how I like my kids' school, my response is not about the buildings or college exmissions or parent body (God, definitely not that), but about the teachers and the kids -- they're the heart and soul of the place. One thing I'd love to know -- how do the teachers really feel about the faculty appreciation breakfasts? I love to cook and always make something, but, honestly, I never know whether you'd all rather get Starbucks cards.

On one point, however, OP, I do have to take issue with you -- re your first complaint about parents who complain even as they plead their non-complainer bona fides. That would be us. As noted above, we have 4 kids, and last time I tried to count the teachers they've had, I stopped at 60 (the 2 oldest have graduated). We've complained only 3 times, and on only one occasion did we preface our complaint with the disclaimer "We're not the type of parents who . . . " Last year, though, one of our kids (in h.s.) had the most burned-out teacher I've ever seen. The class was a complete waste of time and the kids were out of control -- even other teachers mentioned this to us! We spoke to the teacher, then to our kid's advisor, and, finally, the dept. chair -- by that point the teacher had announced retirement plans, but the subject is one I care about very much and I wanted to be sure the dep't chair was aware of the problems as the school went into the hiring process. Believe me, we owned the issue . . . lock, stock and barrel. So, my point in noting that we haven't been complainers was not to ingratiate ourselves with the admin, but to convey how egregious this situation was.

[Anonymous]

I think that's why anyone would say "we aren't complainers" -- i.e. subtext: but this is bad enough to make non-complainers complain.

What was different in your case, is that you were telling the truth!

[Anonymous]

#16 Parents who go on vacation during set conference days and ask to reschedule.

This is an inconvenience because teachers get so few breaks as it is during the school day. Before school we are getting ready for the day, and after school we want to get home to our families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#16 Parents who go on vacation during set conference days and ask to reschedule.

This is an inconvenience because teachers get so few breaks as it is during the school day. Before school we are getting ready for the day, and after school we want to get home to our families.

First one we're guilty of. Just hard to get those 4 days together during ski season. Otherwise, we'd be taking them out of school for 2 days.

[Anonymous]

^^ we were told at our school to not offer parents conferences on alternate days because so many were taking advantage of a possible 4 day weekend. it is a pain in the ass to have conferences on non conference days.

[Anonymous]

First, I have a huge amount of respect and gratitude to all teachers.
Second, I have a question - we are new to the area and my kid is new to the lower school. He has no brilliant math student, but he enjoys it and is half-way through a CTY online accelerated math class that puts him 2.5 years ahead of his class. (He finished the last online class with a 92%.) Again - he is no genius, but he's ahead in math and my understanding is that most of these schools, including the one he attends, is not particularly strong in math. Do we just do our thing at home and not mention it to the teacher? I do not expect the school to put him in a math class with kids 2 years older, but I would also prefer he not have to do basic math worksheets if possible. I am at a loss on how to approach this becasue I don't want to offend our new teacher, whom I quite like.
Thanks for any constructive suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First, I have a huge amount of respect and gratitude to all teachers.
Second, I have a question - we are new to the area and my kid is new to the lower school. He has no brilliant math student, but he enjoys it and is half-way through a CTY online accelerated math class that puts him 2.5 years ahead of his class. (He finished the last online class with a 92%.) Again - he is no genius, but he's ahead in math and my understanding is that most of these schools, including the one he attends, is not particularly strong in math. Do we just do our thing at home and not mention it to the teacher? I do not expect the school to put him in a math class with kids 2 years older, but I would also prefer he not have to do basic math worksheets if possible. I am at a loss on how to approach this becasue I don't want to offend our new teacher, whom I quite like.
Thanks for any constructive suggestions.

I just have to say I think it's so sad that the attitudes of teachers as documented on this thread would make a parent with an important question about his or her son's needs feel like it would be offensive to bring it up. Even more upsetting is that some parents would rather let their child's needs go unmet than risk annoying a teacher about their special snowflake.

Some of the teachers who have posted here about parent's of advanced children should reconsider their position. There is nothing wrong with speaking to your child's teacher (be it the first day or 3 months in) if you geniunely feel it's needed. If you as a teacher feel like there is good reason not to accelerate than just explain your reasoning and come up with a plan. I think teachers are too quick to disregard parents in many instances.

Here is a blog about a little girl and her family who had such a horrendous time dealing with their school. This thread reminds me of it.
http://educatingarchie.com/?m=200905

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, I have a huge amount of respect and gratitude to all teachers.
Second, I have a question - we are new to the area and my kid is new to the lower school. He has no brilliant math student, but he enjoys it and is half-way through a CTY online accelerated math class that puts him 2.5 years ahead of his class. (He finished the last online class with a 92%.) Again - he is no genius, but he's ahead in math and my understanding is that most of these schools, including the one he attends, is not particularly strong in math. Do we just do our thing at home and not mention it to the teacher? I do not expect the school to put him in a math class with kids 2 years older, but I would also prefer he not have to do basic math worksheets if possible. I am at a loss on how to approach this becasue I don't want to offend our new teacher, whom I quite like.
Thanks for any constructive suggestions.

I just have to say I think it's so sad that the attitudes of teachers as documented on this thread would make a parent with an important question about his or her son's needs feel like it would be offensive to bring it up. Even more upsetting is that some parents would rather let their child's needs go unmet than risk annoying a teacher about their special snowflake.

Some of the teachers who have posted here about parent's of advanced children should reconsider their position. There is nothing wrong with speaking to your child's teacher (be it the first day or 3 months in) if you geniunely feel it's needed. If you as a teacher feel like there is good reason not to accelerate than just explain your reasoning and come up with a plan. I think teachers are too quick to disregard parents in many instances.

Here is a blog about a little girl and her family who had such a horrendous time dealing with their school. This thread reminds me of it.
http://educatingarchie.com/?m=200905

That blog is very strange. I feel sorry for Archie. Her mom shouldn't blog about her like that. I hope none of her school mates see it.

[Anonymous]

MY GOODNESSS PEOPLE - LIGHTEN UP!!!!

I am not a teacher, but I think this thread is fine. Not only do I think the thread is funny, but it has also helped me see the error in some of my own ways. It was some teachers letting off steam....its not that deep. And to all those people who are offended, I assume that you have never read any of the threads in DCUM where teachers are thrown under the bus for something and dozens of parents pile on. So it is ok for the parents to criticize teachers from here to Sunday but the teachers cannot have some tongue in cheek criticisms of their own about parents? Come on!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, I have a huge amount of respect and gratitude to all teachers.
Second, I have a question - we are new to the area and my kid is new to the lower school. He has no brilliant math student, but he enjoys it and is half-way through a CTY online accelerated math class that puts him 2.5 years ahead of his class. (He finished the last online class with a 92%.) Again - he is no genius, but he's ahead in math and my understanding is that most of these schools, including the one he attends, is not particularly strong in math. Do we just do our thing at home and not mention it to the teacher? I do not expect the school to put him in a math class with kids 2 years older, but I would also prefer he not have to do basic math worksheets if possible. I am at a loss on how to approach this becasue I don't want to offend our new teacher, whom I quite like.
Thanks for any constructive suggestions.

I just have to say I think it's so sad that the attitudes of teachers as documented on this thread would make a parent with an important question about his or her son's needs feel like it would be offensive to bring it up. Even more upsetting is that some parents would rather let their child's needs go unmet than risk annoying a teacher about their special snowflake.

Some of the teachers who have posted here about parent's of advanced children should reconsider their position. There is nothing wrong with speaking to your child's teacher (be it the first day or 3 months in) if you geniunely feel it's needed. If you as a teacher feel like there is good reason not to accelerate than just explain your reasoning and come up with a plan. I think teachers are too quick to disregard parents in many instances.

Here is a blog about a little girl and her family who had such a horrendous time dealing with their school. This thread reminds me of it.
http://educatingarchie.com/?m=200905

That blog is very strange. I feel sorry for Archie. Her mom shouldn't blog about her like that. I hope none of her school mates see it.

I don't think her real name is Archie. She's also like 7 years old and lives in Australia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:#16 Parents who go on vacation during set conference days and ask to reschedule.

This is an inconvenience because teachers get so few breaks as it is during the school day. Before school we are getting ready for the day, and after school we want to get home to our families.

First one we're guilty of. Just hard to get those 4 days together during ski season. Otherwise, we'd be taking them out of school for 2 days.

If you really want to go, take them out of school for 2 days--don't ask the school to make special arrangements to accommodate a vacation.