Kensington mom who killed son agonized over school costs

[Anonymous]

The family did not get the help they were entitled to. Children with Autism do not do well in public school and the only places able to cater to their educational needs are the special schools and those happen to be private. I know some parents with similar problems and one had to find a way to get to speak to a senator to get his kid admitted to the special school, another had to hire a lawyer. Help is available but it is nearly impossible to get as budgets are cut and the first ones to be without help are the most vulnerable ones with special needs. I cannot understand how hard it is, and I do not even have an idea as to the amount of desperation this can cause. I just wish we could honestly look at ourselves and not just throw stones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The family did not get the help they were entitled to. Children with Autism do not do well in public school and the only places able to cater to their educational needs are the special schools and those happen to be private. I know some parents with similar problems and one had to find a way to get to speak to a senator to get his kid admitted to the special school, another had to hire a lawyer. Help is available but it is nearly impossible to get as budgets are cut and the first ones to be without help are the most vulnerable ones with special needs. I cannot understand how hard it is, and I do not even have an idea as to the amount of desperation this can cause. I just wish we could honestly look at ourselves and not just throw stones.

So you are saying that there are other families in this same situation. I'm sure there are quite a few families around the country who face this type of thing daily, and millions of people around the world who face insanely difficult circumstances. What percentage of these mothers kill their kids?

Relatively speaking, this woman was somewhat fortunate. She had a good job, she had a house, she had an ex who was involved in the child's life, and a mom who was willing to help out, even if just with 10K (though I do believe she would have sent more money).

[Anonymous]

Gotta say my sister is a single mom with three kids, one has Asperger's, the other is HFA. She would NEVER considered killing her children. In fact, she home schooled them instead. This woman was clearly crazy and an unfit mother. There are plenty of options out there had she investigated rather than choosing to kill him.

I gotta ask. Does your sister work? What kind of assistance does she get? I'd like to homeschool my three kids (2 of whom has special needs) but even though I have a DH, we both have to work in order to keep insurance and afford therapy. Maybe I can get the same sort of assistance your sister has. Can you share? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Gotta say my sister is a single mom with three kids, one has Asperger's, the other is HFA. She would NEVER considered killing her children. In fact, she home schooled them instead. This woman was clearly crazy and an unfit mother. There are plenty of options out there had she investigated rather than choosing to kill him.

I gotta ask. Does your sister work? What kind of assistance does she get? I'd like to homeschool my three kids (2 of whom has special needs) but even though I have a DH, we both have to work in order to keep insurance and afford therapy. Maybe I can get the same sort of assistance your sister has. Can you share? Thanks!

She was in school. She is now a prison guard working swing shift. She doesnt even get child support. She doesn't get assistance, she's just very poor.

[Anonymous]

what satisfaction do people get from labeling the woman as "evil"? I have never parented a SN child but I have taught them. I'm also been depressed and it is terrible....when irrational thoughts dominate your life and you can't see a good ending....I feel bad for both the mom and the son. Yes, she shouldn't have shot him, but she was mentally ill, clearly. Labeling her as evil doesn't do any good. Just makes other feel that THEY would never do the same thing. But you never know...sometimes life can put you in situations you never expected.

BTW, the father of the kid wasn't very involved at all, if you read the post article.

[Anonymous]

Alright. I'm the one who made the armchair quarterback comment. I'm chiming in again. I am, again, NOT condoning this woman's actions at all. I will tell you that this news story has travelled through the special needs community, and it is deeply, deeply rattling. It is rattling because sometimes parents really just hold onto their sanity by a Goddamn thread, and when something like this happens, we can't help but wonder if maybe we just AREN'T going to be OK after all. It's terrifying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alright. I'm the one who made the armchair quarterback comment. I'm chiming in again. I am, again, NOT condoning this woman's actions at all. I will tell you that this news story has travelled through the special needs community, and it is deeply, deeply rattling. It is rattling because sometimes parents really just hold onto their sanity by a Goddamn thread, and when something like this happens, we can't help but wonder if maybe we just AREN'T going to be OK after all. It's terrifying.

This is why you need to open up and talk with family and friends! Let us in, we are here to help! I know it is rough. I am the sister of the single mom with two kids on the spectrum. I actually watched her kids for a week so she could get a break. You need to let people help. You deserve a break. Your kids might have to adjust, which doesn't come easy, but in the end everything will work out ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody know where in Kensington this family lived?

Google her name, it may pop up in land records.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Gotta say my sister is a single mom with three kids, one has Asperger's, the other is HFA. She would NEVER considered killing her children. In fact, she home schooled them instead. This woman was clearly crazy and an unfit mother. There are plenty of options out there had she investigated rather than choosing to kill him.

I gotta ask. Does your sister work? What kind of assistance does she get? I'd like to homeschool my three kids (2 of whom has special needs) but even though I have a DH, we both have to work in order to keep insurance and afford therapy. Maybe I can get the same sort of assistance your sister has. Can you share? Thanks!

She was in school. She is now a prison guard working swing shift. She doesnt even get child support. She doesn't get assistance, she's just very poor.

.

Your sister is amazingly heroic.

My neighbor's husband left her and their six children. Alcoholic. Fired from many jobs, basically unemployable now. So no child support. She had been a SAHM who home schooled the kids.

She kept homeschooling, and took night shifts as a nurse and started her own business. They are poor, but close and loyal and just beautiful.

These mothers are heroes. Mothers who kill their children need our pity and our prayers and our empathy, but not our sympathy. Too much "understanding" undermines the great sacrifices of devoted mothers who do not give in to despair.