Full Time Classroom Teachers who are moms-- how do you do it?

[Anonymous]

I find it hard that I lose a lot of my patience during the day-- but since I teach high school and have a young child at home, the frustrations are different. I also teach community college classes in the evenings, so I have to leave myself free time for those.

I do all of my planning and grading at work- every single bit of it. I'm likely to get disorganized or lose things if I start taking things to and from work. It helps that I have only 2 preps, and I realize this is different from an elementary school classroom teacher who has to plan different things for the entire school day. It also helps that I'm stuck at work additional hours in order to teach the evening courses, so I don't have to bring things home.

My freezer is full of meals that just need to be reheated. That way I can cook on the weekends and on days when I get home at a reasonable hour. DH and DS can heat up leftovers or eat food from the freezer. Cleaning and laundry pretty much only get done on the weekend. I'm considering hiring a house cleaner for that reason.

[Anonymous]

I see where the OP is coming from. I have three young kids and work PT as a teacher. So, my away time is spent with kids the same age. I have no "adult time" or break. I couldn't do this full-time because I would want a little change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Full-time elementary teacher with a 2 year old and a 1 year old at home.

For those posters who don't see why this is extra challenging, I invite you to a day in my life. Being in charge of 30 kids all day and then my own 2 in the evenings is overwhelming. I chose it, I'm not complaining, but to not understand why it's different to teach 30 kids all day and then come home to your own as opposed to working around adults all day and then coming home to your own kids is just ignorant.

Okay, enough of that.

A couple of strategies that work for me.
#1 -- I teach an older elementary grade. With such young kiddos at home that demand such a nurturing approach, I just don't have it in me to teach a younger grade and give them the mommy-type nurturing they need all day.
#2 -- I am to get a "B" at work. Seriously. My personality used to be that I had to be the best at work, always demanding more and more of myself. I've let go of a lot of that. I give my students a high quality education every day. I am prepared. No one is suffering. But, I'm okay if I just do a "good" job instead of an "outstanding" job. This has been huge for me and allowed me to save some of myself for my own kids at night.
#3 -- I take no work home. If it doesn't get done that night, it can wait until the next day. As long as I'm planned enough to make it through the next day, I go home on time.
#4 -- I found a daycare that I absolutely love. This is a huge component. I feel no guilt because my kiddos are in such good hands all day.

It's funny. I chose this career path thinking it would be great to do when I had a family. Scheduling wise, that is totally true. But I did not think ahead much about the physical and mental demands of doing both.

Good luck!

What is your point of reference? Have you worked any other types of jobs after having children?

[Anonymous]

It is hard, especially if you are teaching and your kids are the same age as your students! I taught K-2 and have had to take a few years off because it felt like I never actually left work....I just transferred between different kid situations. I write curriculum for various non-profits now, and the difference between a regular "job" and teaching is huge....I have adult time, I can pee when I want, and I don't have to be "on" all of the time. Most of my teaching happened in low-income schools, which adds to the emotional "weight" of the job. I plan to return to teaching, but not until my kids are in middle school. I honestly could not find a reasonable way to balance teaching (and do it well) with parenting (I'm the primary parent most of the time), which is why I made a career shift last year.

[Anonymous]

It takes a lot of time management. Try to minimize the amount of work you have to bring home and the times you have to stay late.

Most days I'm able to leave when my contract hours end. I plan my lessons on Sundays and do as much prep as possible. Fortunately I have a prep time in school (some teachers don't) so I use that time to get and prep materials.

I think the hardest time is when there are report cards and progress reports to do. I chip away at them when I get the chance rather then sitting down and doing them all at once.

Some days I have to stay at work late - ie: IEP meetings or school meetings. Those days I typically don't get home until after 5. I plan in advance to have an easy dinner ready to go so I can walk in the door, heat something up, and go on with the evening.

There is an emotional drain if you work with young kids and then have to come home to your own kids in the evenings. Time management and good classroom management will help ease the stress and the drain, but its still going to be there.

In the summers, I work ESY and summer programs. Then I have a few weeks to recoup and we travel to see family. Then early August, its back to school. I am attempting to save money so that I don't have to work that time in the summer.

[Anonymous]

I can't breathe with my work load, kids, family time, sports, mom taxi, laundry, groceries, etc..I do work through my lunch and plan and still manage to have an abundance of stuff to do. I am not on any extra committees b/c I don't have a minute extra.

I don't think teaching is any easier than any other FT job. But understand that working moms in almost every field feel the same way you described above, and are dealing with the same issues. Switching professions would not necessarily help your issue.

[Anonymous]

No one is attacking non-teacher working moms. Different types of professions have different challenges. Asking for advice about the challenges specific to your profession doesn't mean that you think the other professions are just sitting on their butts eating bonbons until 5 pm. I have a friend who is a cop; I assume some of her challenges as a working mom are different from a mom works in big law or a mom who is a teacher. Some people who have experienced careers in two different fields find A easier than B, while others may find the reverse. It depends on the workplace, the person, etc. it's not a big judgment on everyone else.

[Anonymous]

I will say that I have multiple points of reference. I started my working life as a classroom teacher in middle school, then high school. I left teaching after 7 years to work at a technology startup and worked there for 5 years. I traveled a lot for work and it was considered a "high stress" startup, with lots of folks working long hours to prepare for an IPO. It wasn't NEARLY as stressful as being a teacher, even with all the long hours. I could take breaks whenever I wanted, I was off my feet, I could pee whenever I needed, and I could mentally zone out whenever I needed a break. I still had a demanding workload and lots of deadlines that were high pressure, but nothing like having to face a room of teenagers and be completely mentally "on" without a single break, and then take home 4-5 hours of work at night and much more on the weekends.

I'm back in the classroom now (pumping while I type, on my 20 minute time while my students are with the librarian) and the only way I survive is by accepting that I'm not going to be a really great teacher. I'm good, I'm prepared, the students are learning. But no more can I go way above and beyond. The profession has also gotten much more high stakes and stressful. It sucksl

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm so thankful for this forum. In get back from maternity leave next month. In previous years I usually left at 5 or 5:30 (contract hours end at 4) and would take work home at least two nights. I only get a half hour of planning time most days and now I plan to pump which will cut further into my planning time. I agree with the posts about becoming vigilant about time management.
My DH make 3 times my salary and has much more flexibility. As long as he gets his work done, he can take off to the gym or volunteer at at DS's school....So wish I had his skill set!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why focus this to classroom teachers? I actually work longer hours than my friends who teach and could probably offer up some advice.. oh, wait, but you didn't ask me.

So, why are you answering?

[Anonymous]

I actually think very few people should be lifelong teachers. I do think there is an emotional drain. This is why I am not in favor of pensions for teachers ie the if you work 30 you get a pension for life. Too many teachers stay in for that pension at the expense of our kids. A good friend is a teacher and she was a darn good teacher for the first 15 years. Now I see her dialing it in--even the comment on the board about not volunteering for extra stuff..really?? Every now and again you see a true teacher for life and those are treasures..for some reason that seems to be the oldest teachers..the women who are mid sixties and could have retired but didn't. For OP..think about if this is the career you really want..if you think you are drained..their are other careers that may less taxing. For the passionate teachers out there..thank you! My kids each have one this year and I am soooo grateful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is attacking non-teacher working moms. Different types of professions have different challenges. Asking for advice about the challenges specific to your profession doesn't mean that you think the other professions are just sitting on their butts eating bonbons until 5 pm. I have a friend who is a cop; I assume some of her challenges as a working mom are different from a mom works in big law or a mom who is a teacher. Some people who have experienced careers in two different fields find A easier than B, while others may find the reverse. It depends on the workplace, the person, etc. it's not a big judgment on everyone else.

I agree with this and know that every profession has its own type of challenges. Teaching is not physically draining like some jobs, but it can be very emotionally draining. I find that I am really emotionally spent by the end of my teaching day and often don't have much left to give to my own kids. I am often very impatient with them and I hate that. At school, I am like a parent to many of my students - yes, I am teaching them, but I am also disciplining them, trying to figure out why they are not working that day, or dealing with whatever event has caused them to act out (I teach high school kids). Like others have said, I am always "on" when they are asking questions, needing assistance, etc. And yes, it is hard not be able to go to the bathroom when I want or eat lunch for longer than 25 minutes. It is different from other jobs, and like a PP said, my husband says I am a different person during the summers. Of course there are other jobs that are stressful in different ways, but working with kids all day long and then going home and being with your own kids presents its own set of challenges.

[Anonymous]

Full time teacher and mom to a 6 month old. A few things that I have had to change this year
1. I do not do it 'all'. I was used to being number 1 in my school- and now, I am just not.
2. Change. I moved from a Title I school to a cushier school on the Hill. Knew I could not take the high emotional needs from my old school.
3. Work smart/not hard. Stop doing the cutsie stuff- work hard for kids, and leave it at school.

[Anonymous]

It's so hard working 7 to 3 and not having to pay for aftercare, vacation care, or summer camps.

Oh wait, if you did that like the rest of us it would probably make your balance better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so hard working 7 to 3 and not having to pay for aftercare, vacation care, or summer camps.

Oh wait, if you did that like the rest of us it would probably make your balance better.

People who criticize teachers while have no clue what teachers do really should stop proving that they have no idea what they are talking about.