How long after giving birth did it take to get your head out of your a$$?

[Anonymous]

Nope. I'm at 15 mos and still really struggle with finding any emotional energy for DH. He appears to feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question: I'm only 2.5 mos out with my first. Apart from the foggy-headedness, do PPs gain back any emotional energy for DH before the years everyone's talking about? At first, we were brought closer together by the birth of DD, now I just feel like I don't have any space for him. I'm feeling badly about this...

I am 5 months PP and have experienced the same thing - feeling closer than ever only to start moving apart ESPECIALLY when I started back to work when DD was 3 months.

I am lucky that DH is so incredibly supportive and loves his family so much. We were arguing over a lot of silly things - he would say something stupid, I would get upset, blah blah blah. I finally told him that between DD (who I am still bf'ing), work (demanding job), commuting with the baby every day and general household things (washing pumping stuff, getting DD's things ready for daycare, laundry), I just didn't have much left for him. He took that has a wake-up call and has stepped even more (including often putting his work off until DD and I are in bed and having dinner ready or at least prepped when we get home). His actions plus me slowly learning to let some household things go has made a world of difference. I also let him read to DD at night to give me some time between evening feedings to get my life together. It's tought but being partners makes it easier to connect with each in that husband and wife sort of way.

[Anonymous]

We call it mommy-brain. I'm pretty sure it's permanent

[Anonymous]

It's still there. It's dark in here but still light enough to type...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My youngest just turned 6 and........well............it's taken me 10 minutes to write this sentence.

Squirrel.

I <3 you.

[Anonymous]

So glad to read this post. Means I'm not alone. DS is 15months and I am yet to get my act together. Used to be pretty smart and would scoff at people I thought were "scatterbrained". Not anymore - becoming a parent teaches you to be non-judgemental.

[Anonymous]

I used to laugh at all of my friends who had kids and constantly referred to Mommy Brain" - until I realized that it's a very real thing. I'm a disaster with remembering anything important, I can't even manage to check my phone calendar for work. I'm only 6months PP, so maybe it gets better. But my daughter is STTN and I still feel like a big moron most days.

[Anonymous]

A year to get to accepted mommy brain state with #1. With #2, I thought it was quicker and easier, but now I feel like smething worse than mommy brain is permanent - that nine years of bizarre interrupted sleep because of first one infant and then another, staying up late working since I came home to see the kids, puppy wants out in the middle of the night, DH comes home late from work, DH came home on time for work but fell asleep with the TV on which started blasting infomercials at 3 a.m., etc., etc., has now resulted in permanent and irreversible damage. And I turned 44, so add age-related changes on top of that. You'll see me drooling on the corner looking bewildered any day now. Sigh.

P.S. I know there is plenty wrong grammatically with what I wrote. I just can't rememebr the damn rules or summon the energy to fix it.

[Anonymous]

Oldest is 11. I think, right? born in '99.

I used to be smart. And thin.

Me too. In the 90's, I had a brain, a metabolism, and a career.

[Anonymous]

Having kids makes you stupid. I generally feel dumb most of the time now.

[Anonymous]

About 18 months.

[Anonymous]

Wow, this makes me feel better.

I am starting a new job next week, and I got it based on a great resume that I built before the birth of my now 13-month-old. I am terrified and feel like I should have disclosed in interviews that giving birth was like a partial lobotomy and they shouldn't expect me to be able to perform like that resume woman would.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I was better once I started getting enough sleep (4 mos, once we gave in and coslept). Now, as a disclaimer, I have always been somewhat disorganized, and I have never slept a ton - always had a tendency to stay up late, procrastinate, etc. So, when I say I was back to normal by 4-5 mos, my "normal" has never been the Type A / Superwoman standards I know lots of DC women set for themselves. Set lower standards for yourself, you'll be happier!
"Enough sleep" for me is being in bed from midnight to 6am - waking/rolling over to nurse doesn't affect me much, but when DC was in a separate room the night wakings would *kill* me.
I suspect having a second (DC is 12 mos now) would kick my ass, but for now I'm ok. I have definitely noticed a reduced *interest* in some work tasks, because I'd rather play with DC, but when I set my mind to it I feel I perform to my old standards.
I have a helpful, available DH, though, as well as local family who are always up for weekend babysitting, so I suspect that knowing I have backup if/when I get overwhelmed helps me avoid feeling overwhelmed.

[Anonymous]

For me it was 16 mo, when I finished weaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oldest is 11. I think, right? born in '99.

I used to be smart. And thin.

ooh - I saw this post and realized I had already responded...sadly, I'm done for