Why do so many foreigners and minorities skip their kids?

[Anonymous]

I have a few AA middle class friends who are all about their kids skipping grades (November/ December birthdays/ bight kids). One friend's son is at a private where (due to commute partly) they are up till 10 or 10:30 at night doing homework. He is in 2nd grade. I think it is completely nuts, but I know her son will do well. I think he is missing out on down time. Another family have a bunch of kids and struggled to afford a private which would take their child early.

[Anonymous]

pp, I have seen exactly that picture you describe. I am not sure that many people understand that red shirting is not for dumb kids. These parents do it for the competitive advantage. A bright 15 year old junior in HS has a real disadvantage when put up against a bright 17 year old junior. The colleges do not seem to notice or care that Sally is only 16 when applying to college.

[Anonymous]

Just one experience - my own - but everything on this thread seems pretty anecdotal and not steeped in any substantial data or research. I started K at 4, did well throughout school and graduated at the top of my class even though I was 17. I likely spent less time on homework, etc. than my peers. My birthday is in December, and socially I never had a problem. It was a bit irritating to not be able to drive until my junior year, but I can't imagine being a year behind where I was. And I consider myself smart but I don't think I'm breaking any IQ records. From my experience I would caution parents about being so worried about kids socializing with their exact same age group that they don't mind kids spending 7-8 hours a day in school below their cognitive level. Enrichment outside of school is great but why wouldn't you want to maximize what they get from the hours in school too? And if your child is coasting through the material, they also don't get the opportunity to develop work and study habits that are necessary for success as they go on in life.

[Anonymous]

Why do so many DCUMs redshirt their kids? I'd rather mentally stimulate my kids than have them think they are geniuses because their peers are a year younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are from Europe and Asia, and find your stereotype untrue, even in 100% Asian families who traditionally drive their children rather hard academically.

But it is true that the whole child has to be taken into consideration when skipping or repeating a grade - emotional and academic development are equally important.

I agree with this. Plus, I often hear why get a B in the next grade when you can get a A in this one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just one experience - my own - but everything on this thread seems pretty anecdotal and not steeped in any substantial data or research. I started K at 4, did well throughout school and graduated at the top of my class even though I was 17. I likely spent less time on homework, etc. than my peers. My birthday is in December, and socially I never had a problem. It was a bit irritating to not be able to drive until my junior year, but I can't imagine being a year behind where I was. And I consider myself smart but I don't think I'm breaking any IQ records. From my experience I would caution parents about being so worried about kids socializing with their exact same age group that they don't mind kids spending 7-8 hours a day in school below their cognitive level. Enrichment outside of school is great but why wouldn't you want to maximize what they get from the hours in school too? And if your child is coasting through the material, they also don't get the opportunity to develop work and study habits that are necessary for success as they go on in life.

But wasn't tha the normal cut off date back then?
Back then, a skipped child would have say a March b-day and start K in the fall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just one experience - my own - but everything on this thread seems pretty anecdotal and not steeped in any substantial data or research. I started K at 4, did well throughout school and graduated at the top of my class even though I was 17. I likely spent less time on homework, etc. than my peers. My birthday is in December, and socially I never had a problem. It was a bit irritating to not be able to drive until my junior year, but I can't imagine being a year behind where I was. And I consider myself smart but I don't think I'm breaking any IQ records. From my experience I would caution parents about being so worried about kids socializing with their exact same age group that they don't mind kids spending 7-8 hours a day in school below their cognitive level. Enrichment outside of school is great but why wouldn't you want to maximize what they get from the hours in school too? And if your child is coasting through the material, they also don't get the opportunity to develop work and study habits that are necessary for success as they go on in life.

Thanks so much for sharing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few AA middle class friends who are all about their kids skipping grades (November/ December birthdays/ bight kids). One friend's son is at a private where (due to commute partly) they are up till 10 or 10:30 at night doing homework. He is in 2nd grade. I think it is completely nuts, but I know her son will do well. I think he is missing out on down time. Another family have a bunch of kids and struggled to afford a private which would take their child early.

I'm in a similar situation as described and I will give you my perspective and not speak for all minorities/foreigners. My grandparents immigrated to this country and my great-grandmother made a living cleaning houses. I think my grandfather may have had a background in a white-collar profession but here he worked in a factory to support his family. It was always stressed that the way to get ahead is thru education. Also, although things have changed in the past 30 years, for my parents generation to get the same job as someone that was a non-minority you needed to be better educated. I saw this myself as an intern. Many of the people at the accounts payable center had high school degrees but one of the few AA women there had a college degree. So for me there is this sense that you can't take anything for granted.

So when it comes to getting "extras" and gifted and talent etc. versus skipping a grade, the way my friend described it her mother had to fight for every scrap of making sure her child was challenged. I won't say this is race based because I hear of this now from people with all different backgrounds but there are statistics even in MCPS that the GT is skewed non-minority. In fact there is this whole new system of assessing if a child is ready for enriched learning that has been revamped to address this problem and under this new process, something like 25% more minority children are being assessed that they can handle enriched learning. So basically, I could potentially need to fight the good fight every year and hope the teacher I get that year is giving my child extra work where they need a challenge OR fight the fight once and get my child skipped a grade. Well in this case, it is a missed the cutoff situation but you see the picture.

[Anonymous]

I'm a foreigner and a minority and started first grade at the age of 4. I was always at the top of my class and graduated high school at 16. I do not speak for all foreigners but growing up in my native country, there was more stigma attached to being the oldest in the class than being the youngest. Here in the US, it seems that that the reverse is the case. Parents actually prefer their child being older (6 in Kindergarten). I don't consider my November/December birthday child as skipping a grade because he/she was born in the same year as most of the class and is only considered younger by virtue of an arbitrarily set cut-off date that varies from public to private and from one charter school to the next. Yes. some charter schools in DC still use Dec 31 as a cut off date. In summary, I would prefer that my child be the youngest in the class as opposed to the oldest in the class. If the smartest child in my child's class is only so because he/she is a year or two older than the rest of the class, I don't consider that remarkable.

[Anonymous]

When everyone is special, no one is.
-The Incredibles

[Anonymous]

Parents have to do what they feel is best for their child or for their family. Other parents should not end up resenting their child's classmates because of their own insecurities or biases.

[Anonymous]

Parents have to do what they feel is best for their child or for their family. Other parents should not end up resenting their child's classmates because of their own insecurities or biases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a foreigner and a minority and started first grade at the age of 4. I was always at the top of my class and graduated high school at 16. I do not speak for all foreigners but growing up in my native country, there was more stigma attached to being the oldest in the class than being the youngest. Here in the US, it seems that that the reverse is the case. Parents actually prefer their child being older (6 in Kindergarten). I don't consider my November/December birthday child as skipping a grade because he/she was born in the same year as most of the class and is only considered younger by virtue of an arbitrarily set cut-off date that varies from public to private and from one charter school to the next. Yes. some charter schools in DC still use Dec 31 as a cut off date. In summary, I would prefer that my child be the youngest in the class as opposed to the oldest in the class. If the smartest child in my child's class is only so because he/she is a year or two older than the rest of the class, I don't consider that remarkable.

And this is the reason for my OP. It seems that foreigners don't mind that their kids are skipped. My parents were in the same mentality, skipped my sister two years, she graduated from Churchill at the top of her class. She is in the same place economically as her classmates, yet more frazzled.
BTW, Harvard does not want many 16 year old freshmen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a foreigner and a minority and started first grade at the age of 4. I was always at the top of my class and graduated high school at 16. I do not speak for all foreigners but growing up in my native country, there was more stigma attached to being the oldest in the class than being the youngest. Here in the US, it seems that that the reverse is the case. Parents actually prefer their child being older (6 in Kindergarten). I don't consider my November/December birthday child as skipping a grade because he/she was born in the same year as most of the class and is only considered younger by virtue of an arbitrarily set cut-off date that varies from public to private and from one charter school to the next. Yes. some charter schools in DC still use Dec 31 as a cut off date. In summary, I would prefer that my child be the youngest in the class as opposed to the oldest in the class. If the smartest child in my child's class is only so because he/she is a year or two older than the rest of the class, I don't consider that remarkable.

And this is the reason for my OP. It seems that foreigners don't mind that their kids are skipped. My parents were in the same mentality, skipped my sister two years, she graduated from Churchill at the top of her class. She is in the same place economically as her classmates, yet more frazzled.
BTW, Harvard does not want many 16 year old freshmen.

I think with my mom and grandmother that there is a certain pragmatism that is maybe because of economics or from being from a different country. I can imagine telling my mom that I want to be the oldest in my class so I can have a drivers license first. My mom would have looked at me like I was crazy and asked what car did I think I would be driving. Or no that I would be the last of my friends to legally drink. Again, this wouldn't hold up as a reason to remain underchallenged in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think with my mom and grandmother that there is a certain pragmatism that is maybe because of economics or from being from a different country. I can imagine telling my mom that I want to be the oldest in my class so I can have a drivers license first. My mom would have looked at me like I was crazy and asked what car did I think I would be driving. Or no that I would be the last of my friends to legally drink. Again, this wouldn't hold up as a reason to remain underchallenged in the classroom.

And I can't imagine saying "I'm from a different country so my child should go to school when I darn well feel like it." Some kids do fine if they start early, but to just say that you'll do it because you're from another country and THEY do it is as silly as saying that I'm going to hold my child back so she can buy beer for all her friends as a sophomore in college.

Besides, no kindergartener is going to be thinking about when they start driving and calculating it (and if they are, I whole-heartedly agree they should be skipping a grade or two). What is so important is being able to socialize appropriately with their peers. I think if you skip grades too early, you deprive kids of that - 4 year olds behave differently to 5 year olds and are interested in different things than 6 year olds.