Am I wrong to be annoyed about this workplace complaint?

[Anonymous]

I'd clarify with the boss that he wants to pay you overtime to attend meetings that don't concern you on your support days. I'm guessing he'll backtrack pretty fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your crime here isn’t in missing the meeting or your denim attire. It’s the fact that you got into it with your manager over a petty complaint from some unknown accuser. Do better. You’re showing too much of your hand here.

The only appropriate response to your manger would have been “I hope in the future that these kinds of concerns, whether they’re coming from one of my peers or someone in a management position, can be dealt with at the source. To that end, if you’re comfortable sending them my way to discuss what happened I’d be open to that. I’d also be happy to switch up my attire if your understanding of the support dress code is different than what I’ve been wearing on my support shifts.”

That word salad is hardly an appropriate response.

[Anonymous]

OP, I take your point, and would’ve been similarly irked.
But since the message was delivered by your boss, is this the hill on which you want to (potentially) die?
If not, probably better to let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your crime here isn’t in missing the meeting or your denim attire. It’s the fact that you got into it with your manager over a petty complaint from some unknown accuser. Do better. You’re showing too much of your hand here.

The only appropriate response to your manger would have been “I hope in the future that these kinds of concerns, whether they’re coming from one of my peers or someone in a management position, can be dealt with at the source. To that end, if you’re comfortable sending them my way to discuss what happened I’d be open to that. I’d also be happy to switch up my attire if your understanding of the support dress code is different than what I’ve been wearing on my support shifts.”

That word salad is hardly an appropriate response.

The message is legit though. OP is acting like a defensive little baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your crime here isn’t in missing the meeting or your denim attire. It’s the fact that you got into it with your manager over a petty complaint from some unknown accuser. Do better. You’re showing too much of your hand here.

The only appropriate response to your manger would have been “I hope in the future that these kinds of concerns, whether they’re coming from one of my peers or someone in a management position, can be dealt with at the source. To that end, if you’re comfortable sending them my way to discuss what happened I’d be open to that. I’d also be happy to switch up my attire if your understanding of the support dress code is different than what I’ve been wearing on my support shifts.”

That word salad is hardly an appropriate response.

The message is legit though. OP is acting like a defensive little baby.

Do you tattle on your coworkers for sport?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another option is to send an email to your boss clarifying expectations based on the conversation.

... Thanks for the feedback today.
I pulled the agreement that had been in place around this flex role and I just want to make sure we are all on the same page for this going forward.
Previous - Attire was business casual as a "benefit" for doing this work.
Moving forward, this is no longer accepted and at all times we are expected to be ....
Previous - When in this role, the priority is to do the administrative tasks to support the team. Moving forward, you are asking the team to do both the administrative tasks and attend all team meetings.

Are there any other changes that I need to be aware of? What is the plan for communicating these changes organization wide so that we are all on the same page.

+1. It's your boss's job to clarify this and you should get it in writing in case this comes up again.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your crime here isn’t in missing the meeting or your denim attire. It’s the fact that you got into it with your manager over a petty complaint from some unknown accuser. Do better. You’re showing too much of your hand here.

The only appropriate response to your manger would have been “I hope in the future that these kinds of concerns, whether they’re coming from one of my peers or someone in a management position, can be dealt with at the source. To that end, if you’re comfortable sending them my way to discuss what happened I’d be open to that. I’d also be happy to switch up my attire if your understanding of the support dress code is different than what I’ve been wearing on my support shifts.”

That word salad is hardly an appropriate response.

The message is legit though. OP is acting like a defensive little baby.

Do you tattle on your coworkers for sport?

If PP is the OP, he legit needs to grow up. No, I don’t tattle. I also roll with the punches when they do happen to come my way, because maturity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your crime here isn’t in missing the meeting or your denim attire. It’s the fact that you got into it with your manager over a petty complaint from some unknown accuser. Do better. You’re showing too much of your hand here.

The only appropriate response to your manger would have been “I hope in the future that these kinds of concerns, whether they’re coming from one of my peers or someone in a management position, can be dealt with at the source. To that end, if you’re comfortable sending them my way to discuss what happened I’d be open to that. I’d also be happy to switch up my attire if your understanding of the support dress code is different than what I’ve been wearing on my support shifts.”

That word salad is hardly an appropriate response.

The message is legit though. OP is acting like a defensive little baby.

Do you tattle on your coworkers for sport?

If PP is the OP, he legit needs to grow up. No, I don’t tattle. I also roll with the punches when they do happen to come my way, because maturity.

"Grow up" because the rules were changed without notice? You don't sound mature enough for the working world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Based on the interactions here, OP seems argumentative/defensive and has to have the last word. I wonder if their personality has rubbed some coworkers the wrong way and they're trying to make things difficult for OP.

I’m getting this vibe too. Plus OP is acting like he is undertaking some massive, altruistic hardship when it’s clear he doesn’t mind the additional role. In fact, he likes the perks, including more casual clothes and additional pay.

It just feels like nothing is adding up.

[Anonymous]

I would personally dress the dress code if there while others were in their normal work hours. Probably a good policy after this.

[Anonymous]

That would SO piss me off, OP. I would have pushed back too, and I'm usually non-confrontational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do some extra support work for my company during staffing shortages. It's essentially overtime, but it's much more flexible than a normal workday. When I'm doing support, I can dress casually, make my own hours, work weekends if I want, etc. Anyone is eligible to do it, and the whole point is to help keep things running.

So imagine my surprise when an unknown colleague apparently complained that I wasn't required to sit in on a meeting and instead was allowed to "leisurely stroll into work in jeans."

My boss called me into his office and told me I should have attended the meeting since I was there. I pushed back and said that I wasn't there in my normal capacity, everyone knows that, and if someone had a problem with it, he should have explained that. His response was basically, "I know that, but..."

At that point I said, "Am I correct or not? Because if you know that, then there shouldn't be a 'but.'" We went back and forth a little. My suspicion is that someone with some influence was behind the complaint, because otherwise I don't think this would have gotten any traction.

Now I'm annoyed. My wife says to let it go, but part of me wants to escalate it because I feel like I got called in and criticized for following an arrangement that management already approved. On the other hand, I don't know if this is worth ruffling feathers over.

Would you let it go or push back?

Did you really say this? That’s pretty rude (whether you’re taking to your boss, a peer or a friend, for that matter). Also, how is it “like overtime” if it’s happening at a time that you normally would’ve been there and expected to attend this meeting? Maybe next time you sign up for the support shift you should send a message to the team letting them know that you’re in the support role that day and not available for regular work, meetings, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your crime here isn’t in missing the meeting or your denim attire. It’s the fact that you got into it with your manager over a petty complaint from some unknown accuser. Do better. You’re showing too much of your hand here.

The only appropriate response to your manger would have been “I hope in the future that these kinds of concerns, whether they’re coming from one of my peers or someone in a management position, can be dealt with at the source. To that end, if you’re comfortable sending them my way to discuss what happened I’d be open to that. I’d also be happy to switch up my attire if your understanding of the support dress code is different than what I’ve been wearing on my support shifts.”

That word salad is hardly an appropriate response.

The message is legit though. OP is acting like a defensive little baby.

Do you tattle on your coworkers for sport?

If PP is the OP, he legit needs to grow up. No, I don’t tattle. I also roll with the punches when they do happen to come my way, because maturity.

"Grow up" because the rules were changed without notice? You don't sound mature enough for the working world.

I’m so sorry the rules were changed in you, OP. That must have been very hard for you. What can we all do here to make it better? Do you need a little cookie?

[Anonymous]

Whatever you decide to do, do it with a calm demeanor. You are still very amped up, understandably, but that will make any action you take look immature and fussy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your crime here isn’t in missing the meeting or your denim attire. It’s the fact that you got into it with your manager over a petty complaint from some unknown accuser. Do better. You’re showing too much of your hand here.

The only appropriate response to your manger would have been “I hope in the future that these kinds of concerns, whether they’re coming from one of my peers or someone in a management position, can be dealt with at the source. To that end, if you’re comfortable sending them my way to discuss what happened I’d be open to that. I’d also be happy to switch up my attire if your understanding of the support dress code is different than what I’ve been wearing on my support shifts.”

That word salad is hardly an appropriate response.

The message is legit though. OP is acting like a defensive little baby.

Do you tattle on your coworkers for sport?

If PP is the OP, he legit needs to grow up. No, I don’t tattle. I also roll with the punches when they do happen to come my way, because maturity.

"Grow up" because the rules were changed without notice? You don't sound mature enough for the working world.

I’m so sorry the rules were changed in you, OP. That must have been very hard for you. What can we all do here to make it better? Do you need a little cookie?

OPs crazy coworker is here.