Summer after senior year of HS

[Anonymous]

Nothing. I wanted him to recuperate. He had a breakdown second semester of senior year, because he was pushed to the max and extremely sleep-deprived. He had a lazy summer, which he entirely deserved. Since he's a night owl, we had rules about noise at night, because our stairs are very creaky and left to his own devices, he stamps around like a herd of elephants. He learned to tread like a mouse

Also, if your kid doesn't have a job lined up yet, it's going to be very hit or miss. The internship applications are long closed, the usual camp counseling and lifeguard jobs are nearly all filled, so your kid is going to have to hustle and find something ad hoc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think what people are trying to say is that there is a difference between setting expectations of what it means to be a member of a household and overly parenting.

When my kid graduated I did not become their personal servant. If they are eating dinner with us they can help make the vegetable, and they should continue to do basic cleaning chores just like they did in high school.

However, you are intermingling making decisions for an adult (eg mandating how many days a week they need to work out) with requiring them to be a polite member of the household that does their fair share.

This. Members of the household contribute to the household. They clean up after themselves, do their share of chores, etc. But telling them they have to set certain goals, or exercise every day, and setting a 10pm curfew, is nuts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to make sure that he never, ever, returns home. Correct?

Also,

TMYAWWTMYAW.

what the heck is TMYAWWTMYAW?

I don' make our DC cook for us. That's just odd. Sometimes, they will bake something for the whole family, but they like baked goods, too. They do make breakfast/lunch for themselves.

We haven't changed any rules for them.

They still take out the trash, clean up after themselves, do their own laundry, have a job, don't stay out too late (midnight). Why would you put a 10pm curfew on weeknights during the week? Just because of your dog? Train your dog better.

[Anonymous]

Our family rules are simply that we pay for college - tuition, room/rent, food, books, travel back and forth to see us and any related valid expenses. The rest is on them. Want to travel for spring break (not to see us), join a fraternity/sorority/club, eat out, drink, etc? On them. Which makes them want to work over the summer or during school so they have money and freedom to do cool things. Only rule when they are home is to take the garbage out on their week and not be too loud at night or should I say early hours of the morning. Wanting to work to have money keeps them busy and things usually run fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son was hanging out with friends, day trips, going shopping, playing video games, doing some sports, movies, plays etc.

We traveled together for vacations. And everyone pampered him at home because he was going to college - 30 minutes away.

The time that your kids are with you at home is fleeting. You want them to see their childhood home as a safe harbor. A place of unconditional love and support. The discipline and good habits that you want to impart to them should have happened from the time they were born and it should have come wrapped in the comfort of parental love, acceptance, respect, communication and care.

Don't be a toxic parent - just because you have the power to mess them up.

Your kid will dislike you forever - which is not the worst thing in the world, BUT, they will also learn to behave the same way with their own kids - and that is the worst sin you will bring to your future generations.

+1 this is what my own summer before college was like. And it felt special - last time with HS friends all together, last time living at home with my family. I had a very PT job. We did a long family vacation together. Mostly I hung out with my friends and also my parents and read a lot, shopped to get ready for the college dorm, etc.

[Anonymous]

Our rule for late nights was to call us if in trouble and to poke head in our room to let us know when home. Make good choices (talk about drinking driving drugs)
18 YO..curfews hard to enforce but ask that they aim for only one to two late nights.
Help Clean up after yourself in the house and help out with chores, (walk the dog, take out trash, clean your room). Enjoy your last summer before college it will go fast

[Anonymous]

Exercise?
Was this child athletic prior to graduating?
If not, that’s not happening.