Are you friends with the other parents in your neighborhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my kids were young I lived in one of these "idyllic" neighborhoods where the parents were all friends, the kids played and were friends, etc. It is a lifeline when kids are little. Toward the end I really, really wanted to get away from the kid immediately next door.

It has an underbelly. There will be drama. And then you live in the middle of the drama. Kids will most definitely NOT all stay friends.

We moved when my kids were later elementary and I am thrilled to live on a street where I am friendly with all and friends with none of them. I have friends that aren't based on physical location.

+1, exact same experience.

Also, in my old neighborhood, the super "social" people were mostly just alcoholics. At first I just thought they enjoyed hanging out and were unusually social. And then I realized a lot of them were pretty much always drunk or blazed at these neighborhood get-togethers. It could be 5pm trick or treating or 1pm at a Memorial Day BBQ, and they are already tanked. I am not a teetotaler, but I quickly started bowing out of these events because I don't enjoy hanging out with people who are that inebriated that often over the age of 35 or so. Especially not as a parent at events where kids are present too. There were also hints of other issues (affairs, messiness with relationships and money that were discussed publicly, a lot of gossip about other people in the neighborhood whenever they weren't around). My DH and I definitely backed away slowly after accepting a few invites from the "neighborhood crew" to hang out. I'm sure they wound up deciding we were snobs and "unfriendly". It was such a relief to move and not be around that anymore.

I live in a neighborhood described as "idyllic" and "sought after", and this all rings so true. When my kids were little, it was such a lifeline to make friends with parents and have kids be friends. However, exactly as PPs have said - there is drama, and suddenly your life feels like it has a lot of drama in it because you're spending so much time around the neighbors. There is no real escape, because you live there. As my kids got older, the parent group fell apart, and kids start to choose their own friends. The alcohol is rampant - adults getting absolutely hammered at kids birthday parties, etc. When my kids were younger, it would be going over to someone's house for pizza on Friday, play dates on Saturday (turning into drinks), and then Sunday afternoon a family would always host Sunday football parties. There was a period where my entire weekends were spent socializing with my neighbors. The more alcohol that is consumed, the more gossip that comes out and it's just a toxic environment. The super "social" group tends to change as kids get older but it's usually a group of parents with kids ages 3-8, as the kids don't have as many activities and haven't defined their own friends and interests yet. They have the most time to hang around the neighborhood.

I have several friends in my neighborhood and try to be friendly with everyone, but I try to avoid the mess these days.

[Anonymous]

Our neighborhood is very unfriendly for some reason. We moved in a year ago and while there are families with kids, we never ever see the kids outside. We live next door to a family with two kids, one the same age as mine. I’ve only seen them outside a handful of times. Once I went out to chat when I saw them out and the mom was cordial but distant, and that was the extent of our interactions. I think all the kids must be at activities or inside on screens. We’re often outside playing in our front yard so we’re around, but we’re the only ones. It’s too bad as I would have loved a village dynamic where the neighborhood kids could play together and the parents were friendly, even if not besties.