Private schools and allowing kids to "stay younger longer" or "stay kids longer" - what does that mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is best applied to middle school years. When you've known your classmates since you were 4-5 and have been a small group for years, there's not much interest in dating. Plus, there's recess in grades 6-8. And being in the same building with k-5 keeps you a little innocent. I loved when the big kids got to read with their buddies and when they sat with them at mass.

Then there's the lack of vaping, swearing and talking back. Not saying that's rampant elsewhere, but it's nonexistent at most small catholic k-8s.

This is also said with some smugness from some parents because they hold off on phones way longer and control social media/screen time. But I don't know how true that is anymore. Seems our catholic k-8 younger families aren't keeping the same line on that.

On the other hand, sometimes K-8s infantilize their 7th and 8th graders, don't allow them to develop independence and executive functioning skills that a school might emphasize if they were keeping the kids for 9th. Socially, at the smaller schools, they can get sick of each other and feel like there isn't much privacy. And because this kind of K-8 is attractive to kids with special needs, anxiety, mild ASD, etc., and few people join a K-8 in the last few grades, the percentage of the class that needs extra support and/or is below grade level can grow and grow, while the more academically capable kids peel off looking for more of a challenge or they get into a desirable 6-12. So while the 6-8 experience *can* be better in some very real and important ways, it can also have some very significant drawbacks.

Have more than a decade at a K8 and this doesn’t track. Definitely no specials needs. Kids are counseled out in those instances because the school doesn’t offer those services. And by and large, the kids thrive and excel in high school and frequently assume leadership roles in clubs and sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is best applied to middle school years. When you've known your classmates since you were 4-5 and have been a small group for years, there's not much interest in dating. Plus, there's recess in grades 6-8. And being in the same building with k-5 keeps you a little innocent. I loved when the big kids got to read with their buddies and when they sat with them at mass.

Then there's the lack of vaping, swearing and talking back. Not saying that's rampant elsewhere, but it's nonexistent at most small catholic k-8s.

This is also said with some smugness from some parents because they hold off on phones way longer and control social media/screen time. But I don't know how true that is anymore. Seems our catholic k-8 younger families aren't keeping the same line on that.

On the other hand, sometimes K-8s infantilize their 7th and 8th graders, don't allow them to develop independence and executive functioning skills that a school might emphasize if they were keeping the kids for 9th. Socially, at the smaller schools, they can get sick of each other and feel like there isn't much privacy. And because this kind of K-8 is attractive to kids with special needs, anxiety, mild ASD, etc., and few people join a K-8 in the last few grades, the percentage of the class that needs extra support and/or is below grade level can grow and grow, while the more academically capable kids peel off looking for more of a challenge or they get into a desirable 6-12. So while the 6-8 experience *can* be better in some very real and important ways, it can also have some very significant drawbacks.

I didn’t find this. Our k-8 is pretty transparent that it’s not a fit for kids with special needs and even mild ASD. The kids who joined in middle school schools were actually higher achieving, who wanted a calmer environment than their publics. YMMV.
I agree that they can get sick of each other by 8th grade!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a misnomer, but gets to an important idea: in response to some (very real) concerns about literacy, we've been making school more academic and regimented earlier and earlier. Some of those high-performing EU countries don't have compulsory school until age 7 -- but here you can do full-time PK at age 3. When you put a 3-4 year old in an environment better suited to a 7-8 year old, they may learn to read younger, but they may also act out, not be able to regulate, or just decide that school sucks and is boring – and that last one is SUPER hard to undo. My kids learned to read and spell much earlier than I did in the '90s, and DCPS did a great job in that respect. But the oldest started to sour on school circa 3rd grade because, from what we could gather, the environment just wasn't that age appropriate by design. It's less about being a kid longer, than about keeping that curiosity going while their feelings about school take shape.

This is key. When kids are curious and want to learn, that carries forward in life. Once school sucks, that curiosity dies.

+1

My then 3 year old had some very strong feelings about school/PK3 that made me nervous as to what the subsequent school years would feel like. The best thing for him was finding a place where the curiosity and love for learning would sustain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We made the switch to private in 2nd grade, so DS had plenty of time in our public. When he was in K and 1st, he was already worrying about being embarrassed by parents or shoes, on screens for much of the day, and constantly asking about video games, Switch, and Minecraft sweatshirts. In private and he never mentions video games or wanting screen time, they do worksheets and math problems at school, and there isn't any preoccupation with being cool vs embarrassed. The other day I wrote a cute note in his lunch, which he never would have dared do in 1st grade at the public, because he would have been teased. In private he is much more open and seemingly in touch with his feelings, and comfortable to say he loves us, his friends are kind, etc. He's also way better at just playing and puttering around. Apparently at recess all the boys play made up games and run sports drills, so he now does that at home.

I know this isn't true of all kids, but my kid is very very affected by the environment he is in. I've seen a big shift.

It's hilarious to me that people would care less about clothing brands in a private school. Maybe for little boys, but the girls come out caring more because their parents have more to spend. Yes even if there is a uniform.

DP: This was not true for us. One of the reasons we switched our DD from public to private in 2nd grade was for the uniforms. When DD was at a MCPS public, she was always coming home talking about so and so's pretty dress, someone's cool backpack, etc. We aren't materialistic and were very, very surprised to hear this coming from such a young kid. DD's interest in other's clothes stopped once she moved to a school with uniform. (Her private even has uniform shoes and socks, so it is pretty much impossible for kids to care about clothes).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this is best applied to middle school years. When you've known your classmates since you were 4-5 and have been a small group for years, there's not much interest in dating. Plus, there's recess in grades 6-8. And being in the same building with k-5 keeps you a little innocent. I loved when the big kids got to read with their buddies and when they sat with them at mass.

Then there's the lack of vaping, swearing and talking back. Not saying that's rampant elsewhere, but it's nonexistent at most small catholic k-8s.

This is also said with some smugness from some parents because they hold off on phones way longer and control social media/screen time. But I don't know how true that is anymore. Seems our catholic k-8 younger families aren't keeping the same line on that.

On the other hand, sometimes K-8s infantilize their 7th and 8th graders, don't allow them to develop independence and executive functioning skills that a school might emphasize if they were keeping the kids for 9th. Socially, at the smaller schools, they can get sick of each other and feel like there isn't much privacy. And because this kind of K-8 is attractive to kids with special needs, anxiety, mild ASD, etc., and few people join a K-8 in the last few grades, the percentage of the class that needs extra support and/or is below grade level can grow and grow, while the more academically capable kids peel off looking for more of a challenge or they get into a desirable 6-12. So while the 6-8 experience *can* be better in some very real and important ways, it can also have some very significant drawbacks.

In our K-8 there is actually an influx of kids in 6th grade because their parents want to avoid public middle and high school.