DD 11 wants to buy eyeliner…

[Anonymous]

Ha. I am in my 30s and "scene" was a thing when I was in middle school. Everything is cyclical...

Fwiw harsh eyeliner like that looks so inappropriate on young girls.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

OP this is just stupid

Eyeliner is not permanent.

Not a hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a rule. No makeup until my DD is 13. End of conversation! No exceptions.

However, DD (now 11) has been pushing really hard for me to let her buy eyeliner (with her own money). She wants “dramatic” black eyeliner. I of course am putting my foot down. However she insists that she wants to be “scene” (whatever that means) and that I’m not letting her express herself. Ugh. I don’t want to cave. Should I?

Why don't you know what that means? If you have an 11-year-old at max, you are probably mid-40s, and scene was definitely a thing when you were in your 20s, even if you didn't dress that way yourself. This makes you seem judgmental, controlling, and condescending towards your daughter, which speels larger issues for you and your relationship with her outside of this current situation. You freak out and put her down over small potatoes stuff like this, it's not likely she's going to come to you or hear you on larger issues.
I'm not saying you have to let her do the mascara, or she'll become an alcoholic felon who never lets you see the grandkids. I'm saying if you show interest in her and her feelings and interests, explain why you think she's too young still, but you can empathize with her wanting a different style, she's more likely to come to you and take your advice about the serious stuff, versus hide it or go tosomone else who may or may not give good advice.

She “doesn’t know what it means” beciase it’s a fake post. No kid this age is trying to be “scene” in 2026

[Anonymous]

I don't remember how old my daughter was when I let her wear makeup but I filled her xmas stocking with fun dollar store cosmetics one year and figured she'd have fun with it. She started wearing it around the same time her friends did. She has bad skin, inherited from her dad, so I figured she'd want makeup for it.

I don't know if this is the battle I'd fight.

[Anonymous]

If you want to make this a hill to die on, have at it. But lots of parents actually start to compromise on this stuff in 5th grade. Maybe a lip gloss for a special event. Or letting them have eyeliner just to practice at home but not to wear to school.

You do you.

I will say that my experience with my 8th grader is that girls wore a little makeup in 5th and 6th grade (my daughter did not until 6th). In 7th grade, they wore quite a bit of makeup and spent a lot of time getting ready. But they did a way better job with makeup than most moms did when they were kids. And then by 8th grade, they are over it and want to sleep in so they just throw on a little mascara. Not fighting the fight in 7th grade made is easier for her to just give it up in 8th with no commentary by anyone about it. The girls are also mostly putting on makeup to impress themselves and each other. Very little of this is to impress a boy.