Venting about over gifting

[Anonymous]

All I can say is the toy years go by quickly and this will end. We are in the $ years now

[Anonymous]

I throw stuff in the trash the week after Christmas if it's already unboxed and torn up and a million pieces that my kids can't keep up with and don't seem interested in. It's overwhelming for them, too.

I also told my mom this year that when we were growing up, one or two wrapped gifts would arrive in the mail from relatives, and that's it. Now people send tons of stuff from Amazon that I have to unbox, follow up with to see who it's from and who it's for, and then wrap. I told her it's my holiday too and sometimes the stuff goes to Goodwill or the trash, and that the kids can't even play they are so overwhelmed with it all. It's not my job to find a place in my home for every freakin plastic piece of junk that comes from Amazon.

She looked shocked but even she couldn't deny I am right. I think next year will finally be different!

[Anonymous]

Same. The amount of plastic crap destined for a landfill stresses me out.

[Anonymous]

After mil goes homes take all the presents ask the kids to pick two
Put the rest somewhere else then pull them out in snow days or sick days

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I throw stuff in the trash the week after Christmas if it's already unboxed and torn up and a million pieces that my kids can't keep up with and don't seem interested in. It's overwhelming for them, too.

I also told my mom this year that when we were growing up, one or two wrapped gifts would arrive in the mail from relatives, and that's it. Now people send tons of stuff from Amazon that I have to unbox, follow up with to see who it's from and who it's for, and then wrap. I told her it's my holiday too and sometimes the stuff goes to Goodwill or the trash, and that the kids can't even play they are so overwhelmed with it all. It's not my job to find a place in my home for every freakin plastic piece of junk that comes from Amazon.

She looked shocked but even she couldn't deny I am right. I think next year will finally be different!

100% I've noticed it's overwhelming for the kids. They're just asking questions about one toy, but another item is demanding a reaction and attention and on and on. It's a lot.

[Anonymous]

I can’t stand it either. My MIL just wants to give the most amount of cheap gifts. Example- I've shared with her a line of crafts that are made by a small company that we love. Well, instead she found a Chinese counterfeit version of this woman’s products for less on Amazon and bought many instead of just one from the legitimate company’s website.

I can’t bear getting gifted cheap polyester bedding or clothing, especially when I carefully select more sustainable options for us. I don’t expect anyone to buy specific organic clothing, I just wish they would respect that we DON’T want or need any polyester pajamas etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t stand it either. My MIL just wants to give the most amount of cheap gifts. Example- I've shared with her a line of crafts that are made by a small company that we love. Well, instead she found a Chinese counterfeit version of this woman’s products for less on Amazon and bought many instead of just one from the legitimate company’s website.

I can’t bear getting gifted cheap polyester bedding or clothing, especially when I carefully select more sustainable options for us. I don’t expect anyone to buy specific organic clothing, I just wish they would respect that we DON’T want or need any polyester pajamas etc.

I'm the wooden toy and organic clothing poster. Maybe I'm a little autistic and weird, but there are many types of polyester I cannot bear on my skin. I buy as little of it as we can get away with and I am not afraid of telling people not to buy them as gifts. Kids are now adults and teens, and my relatives and friends have mostly complied over the years

Stuff that you can get on the internet from China and other countries with poor regulatory practices just isn't safe. We come from a western European country, where just before Christmas, some government agency pulled tons of Chinese crap out of the postal sorting service because they did not comply with EU safety regulations. The US is also a little lax on safety regulations.

[Anonymous]

"A lot of times the gift-giving is *more* for the gift-giver."

Agree with this person's comment. Gift giving is not my love language (giving or receiving) but for a lot of people it is. I also think a lot of women in particular bond over shopping at those fun discount stores (I did growing up with aunts and grandmothers) and buy a ton of stuff for sport for people in their life. When, uh, we don't actually wnat it. Then there's not having enough growing up. And buying a lot of cheap stuff - or not throwing away - to make up for it.

I'm dealing with too many gifts from grandparenta. It's hard. One set gives more than the other and the child seemingly loves them more as a result which I find depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I throw stuff in the trash the week after Christmas if it's already unboxed and torn up and a million pieces that my kids can't keep up with and don't seem interested in. It's overwhelming for them, too.

I also told my mom this year that when we were growing up, one or two wrapped gifts would arrive in the mail from relatives, and that's it. Now people send tons of stuff from Amazon that I have to unbox, follow up with to see who it's from and who it's for, and then wrap. I told her it's my holiday too and sometimes the stuff goes to Goodwill or the trash, and that the kids can't even play they are so overwhelmed with it all. It's not my job to find a place in my home for every freakin plastic piece of junk that comes from Amazon.

She looked shocked but even she couldn't deny I am right. I think next year will finally be different!

Are you raising a family of raccoons?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I throw stuff in the trash the week after Christmas if it's already unboxed and torn up and a million pieces that my kids can't keep up with and don't seem interested in. It's overwhelming for them, too.

I also told my mom this year that when we were growing up, one or two wrapped gifts would arrive in the mail from relatives, and that's it. Now people send tons of stuff from Amazon that I have to unbox, follow up with to see who it's from and who it's for, and then wrap. I told her it's my holiday too and sometimes the stuff goes to Goodwill or the trash, and that the kids can't even play they are so overwhelmed with it all. It's not my job to find a place in my home for every freakin plastic piece of junk that comes from Amazon.

She looked shocked but even she couldn't deny I am right. I think next year will finally be different!

Are you raising a family of raccoons?

What does this comment even mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:See if you can start to convince them to buy tickets for events like cirque du soliel, a family membership to the aquarium, a ballet class.

Start planting the ideas earlier next year “oh Larla loved our trip to the aquarium, did you know it’s super expensive nowadays? I wish we could go more often. I should look into the membership.”

That is way too passive. Just be direct.

Op said that they pleaded with them to be reasonable, sounds like they already did direct. If the relatives think it’s their own idea then they’ll be more likely to do it.

The way it is phrased though is like the parent is going to get it.

You want an aquarium membership? Use those words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hear me out. It may be a millennial parenting trope by now to complain about grandparents over gifting but I REALLY don’t remember this to be a thing when I was growing up at least.

We are so fortunate to have two sets of grandparents who adore our children. We are even lucky that they somewhat adhere to our wishes for gifts for our toddlers - experience gifts, etc. But even with our pleading to keep just to that, or to provide minimal other items so the kids can unwrap something, they inevitably can’t help themselves from buying loads of cheap plastic crap as gifts. I can’t handle the volume and I resent it, because now it’s on me to find room for it and eventually donate it. I’m also annoyed that my MIL gets more presents than we or Santa does for our kids and uncomfortable with how much they are spending. Our kids want for nothing, our planet doesn’t need more crap in a landfill and Bezos doesn’t need more money!

Rant over.

You can donate, regift, or return the gifts that you don’t want to keep. Some other suggestions: Ask them to put some of the gift $ into a 529, ask for specific items - larger ticket items or run of the mill items that you would normally buy but are not “must have”. Specific items are easier when kids are older, because they have specific tastes.

I have a specific place where I have wrapping paper, cards, and presents and I put presents that are not a great fit in that spot for easy regifting. If space is an issue then continue to tell that to family members. It may eventually stick. I think the biggest challenge for grandparents is that up until children are a certain age kids get more excited by toys and games than by clothes or money and some grandparents are all about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hear me out. It may be a millennial parenting trope by now to complain about grandparents over gifting but I REALLY don’t remember this to be a thing when I was growing up at least.

We are so fortunate to have two sets of grandparents who adore our children. We are even lucky that they somewhat adhere to our wishes for gifts for our toddlers - experience gifts, etc. But even with our pleading to keep just to that, or to provide minimal other items so the kids can unwrap something, they inevitably can’t help themselves from buying loads of cheap plastic crap as gifts. I can’t handle the volume and I resent it, because now it’s on me to find room for it and eventually donate it. I’m also annoyed that my MIL gets more presents than we or Santa does for our kids and uncomfortable with how much they are spending. Our kids want for nothing, our planet doesn’t need more crap in a landfill and Bezos doesn’t need more money!

Rant over.

You can donate, regift, or

[Anonymous]

I am totally with you, OP. Yes, I know I could donate or return them (maybe, if there is a gift receipt), but that still makes it my problem to deal with. Even regifting requires me to store the items for some amount of time. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Put it all on Buy Nothing, then toss the rest. Seriously. I wouldn't go to places to try to return stuff I hated because I don't have the time to do all that! Also, how do you teach children to be grateful (and not say "ugh, I already have this, I hate the color, this isn't what I wanted, etc) when you openly are returning things to stores to buy the "right ones."

And for the Chinese knockoffs of the real craft? I'd toss those in the trash.

I will say that when I was 2 years old I received 2 of the same gift (a push-popper toy) - my mother took one to the store and exchanged it for a black and white stuffed dog. And I STILL HAVE that dog - he's so well-loved looking now, but he's on a guest room bed, nice and snug! (I'm a grown-ass adult, too)