Do you and your spouse sleep in separate rooms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I prefer separate rooms but it makes DH sad so we don't unless one of us is pretty sick.

+1 I would happily have separate rooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like you're not really married if you are sleeping in different rooms every night.

Agree.
But folks will argue otherwise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like you're not really married if you are sleeping in different rooms every night.

Agree.
But folks will argue otherwise

It doesn’t really matter what you “feel like”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like you're not really married if you are sleeping in different rooms every night.

We had a dead bedroom anyway so I might as well get some good sleep.

[Anonymous]

No. But we have a king and do the european two-comforter thing and it's wonderful.

We have a guest room if someone is sick or excessively perturbed

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like you're not really married if you are sleeping in different rooms every night.

Agree.
But folks will argue otherwise

Help me understand your “feeling” about this. How is it that two people who:

Love and adore one another
Have been married 30 years
Have parented 2 wonderful kids together
Own property and file taxes jointly
Have sex 3-5 x a week
Travel, entertain and host family at our home together
And, sleep im separate rooms

Are not really married?? I’m trying to understand your thinking….

I have friends who are married, share the same bed and:

Don’t like one another very much
Travel separately
Never entertain
Can’t stand each others’ family

So, are they really married because they sleep in the same room?

[Anonymous]

Yes, due to my husband's horrific snoring. He's not happy about it but I've told him it's necessary until he gets a gosh darn CPAP (which he's resisted).

[Anonymous]

Yes. In our 40s. Very good marriage, s^x life, etc. Married for almost 20 years, but very different sleep preferences in terms of light, sound, covers, etc. Works for us.

[Anonymous]

No, although I can see why people do this! My DH would not like the arrangement; he snores heavily, goes to bed early and wakes up easily. Still, he would not want his own room. I would miss him also.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like you're not really married if you are sleeping in different rooms every night.

Agree.
But folks will argue otherwise

Help me understand your “feeling” about this. How is it that two people who:

Love and adore one another
Have been married 30 years
Have parented 2 wonderful kids together
Own property and file taxes jointly
Have sex 3-5 x a week
Travel, entertain and host family at our home together
And, sleep im separate rooms

Are not really married?? I’m trying to understand your thinking….

I have friends who are married, share the same bed and:

Don’t like one another very much
Travel separately
Never entertain
Can’t stand each others’ family

So, are they really married because they sleep in the same room?

Those PPs are apparently too juvenile to understand what marriage actually means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yup. When we first moved in together about 25 years ago my one requirement was a 2 bedroom apartment so I had somewhere to go when the snoring started. Now we are both light sleepers with different sleep schedules so the arrangement is permanent.

Did you anticipate that you would be in the same apartment in 25 years? Or you mean you set that up that you would always have 2 BRs when you got together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been married 30 years and have had separate rooms for about a decade, maybe longer. It started with my husband’s horrific snoring. Now that he uses a CPAP, he’s welcome to move back whenever he wants, but I think he likes the luxury of having an entire double bed to himself (plus, I move around a lot in my sleep).

It distresses my MIL because she worries about the state of our marriage, but it’s really made things better, not worse.

It would irritate me so much if I thought my MIL was jdudging this of me to the point where I would hide it

[Anonymous]

Yes

He snores, he naps on the couch from 8pm to 10pm, he wakes up at 4 or 5am to drink coffee and look at computer screens. Then mainly works 24/7/365, so not that sexy anymore or involved with our lives.

[Anonymous]

I honestly think if a woman is not sleeping in a separate room by mid-50s, it's because the husband does not allow it and they don't have the spine to do it anyway. So if the marriage for you is about a submissive wife, then sure, sleep in the same bed and stay awake.

[Anonymous]

50s and do this. It started with DH's really loud snoring and me pushing him to get evaluated for sleep apnea. Then he found out he had it and I can't fall asleep right next to the machine. Ideally, I'd love to have a massive bedroom with 2 queen or full beds on opposite ends so we could hang out in bed until sleep time and then go to our separate beds. We had a hotel room like this, and I could handle the sleep apnea machine at a distance, just not right next to me.