Does anyone care if spouse comes to holiday party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother years ago had an excel spreadsheet where every day if an employee did even one thing extra they get a check.

Meaning came in early, worked late, attended a work volunteer thing, spouse went to holiday party, helped out another person outside of job responsibility or even just see him busy and ask if he needed help, even if he said no.

He had a 100 percent bonus pool. One year he had an employee get zero bonus. Each little thing does not mean much but over year those little things add up. He also had a person get a 250 percent bonus. When you got zero he just reallocate the bonus to the others.

So dont sweat holiday party but dont be that guy or gal

Lies and the lying liars who tell them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother years ago had an excel spreadsheet where every day if an employee did even one thing extra they get a check.

Meaning came in early, worked late, attended a work volunteer thing, spouse went to holiday party, helped out another person outside of job responsibility or even just see him busy and ask if he needed help, even if he said no.

He had a 100 percent bonus pool. One year he had an employee get zero bonus. Each little thing does not mean much but over year those little things add up. He also had a person get a 250 percent bonus. When you got zero he just reallocate the bonus to the others.

So dont sweat holiday party but dont be that guy or gal

Lies and the lying liars who tell them.

actually he did. He had a "person" back in the D&I days who was warehoused in his dept who loved to make a stink about things like this claming bias. So in anticipation he wanted it based on metrics. He also had work metrics of couse. But he did it via excel by math alone. And at start of year explained in a meeting what metrics was and sent it in email. He had a staff of 40.

This is back in the in person days with badge swipes.

All you need is one person to sue you and you are basing raises and bonuses are stats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My law firm is very strict on who can attend.

Thank you for this non answer.

[Anonymous]

DH likes for me to go. It's not my favorite thing but it makes me feel good that he wants me there. I'd say about 50% of spouses go, so don't think people particularly care one way or another.

[Anonymous]

He may be under scrutiny for a promotion or a layoff. Maybe a personable spouse matters! Just go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My dh is introverted and I don't make him attend any non family parties. No one ever says anything to me.

what level are you?

Glad someone asked this question. Depends on what level you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He may be under scrutiny for a promotion or a layoff. Maybe a personable spouse matters! Just go.

Boomer fanfic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may be under scrutiny for a promotion or a layoff. Maybe a personable spouse matters! Just go.

Boomer fanfic.

Harsh but true. OP, these days nobody really cares one way or the other if a spouse attends so do what you want on this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my firm, spouses are invited by they don't all come. My spouse is a misanthrope and often skips. After many years, I think most people realize he is a misanthrope and don't care that he doesn't come. I have co-workers with great spouses and I would miss them if they didn't come, but I certainly wouldn't hold it against them. But he obviously wants you to go, so it sounds like it's important to him. So just go.

Also, note that many companies encourage spousal attendance at parties because it really cuts down on sexual harassment issues and potential inter-office liaisons. Something to think about for all those spouses that don't like to go to the holiday party.

Does your DH enjoy anything in life or does he just hate everything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother years ago had an excel spreadsheet where every day if an employee did even one thing extra they get a check.

Meaning came in early, worked late, attended a work volunteer thing, spouse went to holiday party, helped out another person outside of job responsibility or even just see him busy and ask if he needed help, even if he said no.

He had a 100 percent bonus pool. One year he had an employee get zero bonus. Each little thing does not mean much but over year those little things add up. He also had a person get a 250 percent bonus. When you got zero he just reallocate the bonus to the others.

So dont sweat holiday party but dont be that guy or gal

Lies and the lying liars who tell them.

actually he did. He had a "person" back in the D&I days who was warehoused in his dept who loved to make a stink about things like this claming bias. So in anticipation he wanted it based on metrics. He also had work metrics of couse. But he did it via excel by math alone. And at start of year explained in a meeting what metrics was and sent it in email. He had a staff of 40.

This is back in the in person days with badge swipes.

All you need is one person to sue you and you are basing raises and bonuses are stats.

If his legal or HR team learned that one of his “metrics” was whether your spouse came to the holiday party, they would have nipped that in the bud. This is either made up or your brother worked in some incredibly toxic environment. Or your brother is over 70 and this goes back to the days when women needed permission from their husbands to open a bank account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother years ago had an excel spreadsheet where every day if an employee did even one thing extra they get a check.

Meaning came in early, worked late, attended a work volunteer thing, spouse went to holiday party, helped out another person outside of job responsibility or even just see him busy and ask if he needed help, even if he said no.

He had a 100 percent bonus pool. One year he had an employee get zero bonus. Each little thing does not mean much but over year those little things add up. He also had a person get a 250 percent bonus. When you got zero he just reallocate the bonus to the others.

So dont sweat holiday party but dont be that guy or gal

This is NOT normal nor healthy management. Don't be this guy. What a nightmare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother years ago had an excel spreadsheet where every day if an employee did even one thing extra they get a check.

Meaning came in early, worked late, attended a work volunteer thing, spouse went to holiday party, helped out another person outside of job responsibility or even just see him busy and ask if he needed help, even if he said no.

He had a 100 percent bonus pool. One year he had an employee get zero bonus. Each little thing does not mean much but over year those little things add up. He also had a person get a 250 percent bonus. When you got zero he just reallocate the bonus to the others.

So dont sweat holiday party but dont be that guy or gal

Lies and the lying liars who tell them.

actually he did. He had a "person" back in the D&I days who was warehoused in his dept who loved to make a stink about things like this claming bias. So in anticipation he wanted it based on metrics. He also had work metrics of couse. But he did it via excel by math alone. And at start of year explained in a meeting what metrics was and sent it in email. He had a staff of 40.

This is back in the in person days with badge swipes.

All you need is one person to sue you and you are basing raises and bonuses are stats.

If his legal or HR team learned that one of his “metrics” was whether your spouse came to the holiday party, they would have nipped that in the bud. This is either made up or your brother worked in some incredibly toxic environment. Or your brother is over 70 and this goes back to the days when women needed permission from their husbands to open a bank account.

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Boomer again. I liked business holiday parties both mine and spouse's where we could dress up, have festive food and drink and decorations. We don't have family around, never did, so parties were a way to mingle festively in venues we wouldn't otherwise see.

But but boundaries, lol! Enjoy your lives, we did. And we even liked the people we worked with, lol.

[Anonymous]

mine often wants me to come to holiday parties and some other events where spouses are welcome, but definitely not needed. It makes no sense - he’s extroverted (I'm introverted), and once we get there, he ditches me.

[Anonymous]

Is he in senior role and other senior leaders bring their spouses?