Is private school worth it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

I've explained my reasoning multiple times on DCUM, but basically it boils down to private school not offering the best quality:price ratio before college.

That being said, you do pay for your child's public education - in that the best schools are in the best neighborhoods, which have expensive real estate. But at the end of your kid's K-12, you still have your house, and it will have turned into a solid investment, since everyone wants to buy into the good school district. If you pay for private instead, the money is gone.

We moved to be inbounds to the best school district that also worked for our commutes. We were house poor for a while, but now our investment has paid off.

If you can't move because you have a great mortgage, and your public school is crap... then that might be the only time when temporary private schooling might help you out.

This reasoning, such as it is, doesn't consider, even once, the need of an individual child.

Yes, the financial component is an important consideration. But to suggest that it is the only consideration is incredibly myopic, and really says something about the PP.

PP you replied to. I did not suggest it was the only consideration, but it is the most important one. My kids (one gifted, one with special needs) went through MCPS, and a brief stint in private in another country. I am the product of a posh international private in my home country. My husband survived rough public schools where he was bullied and he forced his parents to lie about their address so he could attend a public where he wasn't shoved into a locker every day. Our collective experience runs the gamut.

I taught my kids cursive and gave them a reading list of French and English classic literature every summer. I taught them everything I felt they should know that publics were not teaching. We paid for tutors and various enrichments because we weren't strapped by private tuition. And now, we can afford any college, graduate school, downpayment on homes, etc, because we invested the money we saved into the stock market.

I am here to tell you that yes, MONEY is the most important factor in your life and your children's lives. This is not something people talk about in face to face conversations, but it's the obvious truth. The arc of your children's lives is long and you don't know what the future will bring and what difference your money will make. What's clear is that with the rise of AI and the fracture of the old geopolitical order, their lives will not look at all like yours! If you have access to a relatively good public system, don't spit on it. Make it work! Your obligation to your children does not stop when they turn 18, or when they graduate from a 4 year college. There will be a lot of upheavals in their lives, that we in the western world did not experience when we were their age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

I've explained my reasoning multiple times on DCUM, but basically it boils down to private school not offering the best quality:price ratio before college.

That being said, you do pay for your child's public education - in that the best schools are in the best neighborhoods, which have expensive real estate. But at the end of your kid's K-12, you still have your house, and it will have turned into a solid investment, since everyone wants to buy into the good school district. If you pay for private instead, the money is gone.

We moved to be inbounds to the best school district that also worked for our commutes. We were house poor for a while, but now our investment has paid off.

If you can't move because you have a great mortgage, and your public school is crap... then that might be the only time when temporary private schooling might help you out.

This reasoning, such as it is, doesn't consider, even once, the need of an individual child.

Yes, the financial component is an important consideration. But to suggest that it is the only consideration is incredibly myopic, and really says something about the PP.

PP you replied to. I did not suggest it was the only consideration, but it is the most important one. My kids (one gifted, one with special needs) went through MCPS, and a brief stint in private in another country. I am the product of a posh international private in my home country. My husband survived rough public schools where he was bullied and he forced his parents to lie about their address so he could attend a public where he wasn't shoved into a locker every day. Our collective experience runs the gamut.

I taught my kids cursive and gave them a reading list of French and English classic literature every summer. I taught them everything I felt they should know that publics were not teaching. We paid for tutors and various enrichments because we weren't strapped by private tuition. And now, we can afford any college, graduate school, downpayment on homes, etc, because we invested the money we saved into the stock market.

I am here to tell you that yes, MONEY is the most important factor in your life and your children's lives. This is not something people talk about in face to face conversations, but it's the obvious truth. The arc of your children's lives is long and you don't know what the future will bring and what difference your money will make. What's clear is that with the rise of AI and the fracture of the old geopolitical order, their lives will not look at all like yours! If you have access to a relatively good public system, don't spit on it. Make it work! Your obligation to your children does not stop when they turn 18, or when they graduate from a 4 year college. There will be a lot of upheavals in their lives, that we in the western world did not experience when we were their age.

This is interesting. I definitely think the better question is not public vs private, but public + supplementing at a cost that is still much less than private. While there are benefits to the time and stress saved by going private if you end up in one where you no longer have to supplement (or stress about it), and potentially behavioral, I think the decision is less clear cut when framed this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

I've explained my reasoning multiple times on DCUM, but basically it boils down to private school not offering the best quality:price ratio before college.

That being said, you do pay for your child's public education - in that the best schools are in the best neighborhoods, which have expensive real estate. But at the end of your kid's K-12, you still have your house, and it will have turned into a solid investment, since everyone wants to buy into the good school district. If you pay for private instead, the money is gone.

We moved to be inbounds to the best school district that also worked for our commutes. We were house poor for a while, but now our investment has paid off.

If you can't move because you have a great mortgage, and your public school is crap... then that might be the only time when temporary private schooling might help you out.

This reasoning, such as it is, doesn't consider, even once, the need of an individual child.

Yes, the financial component is an important consideration. But to suggest that it is the only consideration is incredibly myopic, and really says something about the PP.

PP you replied to. I did not suggest it was the only consideration, but it is the most important one. My kids (one gifted, one with special needs) went through MCPS, and a brief stint in private in another country. I am the product of a posh international private in my home country. My husband survived rough public schools where he was bullied and he forced his parents to lie about their address so he could attend a public where he wasn't shoved into a locker every day. Our collective experience runs the gamut.

I taught my kids cursive and gave them a reading list of French and English classic literature every summer. I taught them everything I felt they should know that publics were not teaching. We paid for tutors and various enrichments because we weren't strapped by private tuition. And now, we can afford any college, graduate school, downpayment on homes, etc, because we invested the money we saved into the stock market.

I am here to tell you that yes, MONEY is the most important factor in your life and your children's lives. This is not something people talk about in face to face conversations, but it's the obvious truth. The arc of your children's lives is long and you don't know what the future will bring and what difference your money will make. What's clear is that with the rise of AI and the fracture of the old geopolitical order, their lives will not look at all like yours! If you have access to a relatively good public system, don't spit on it. Make it work! Your obligation to your children does not stop when they turn 18, or when they graduate from a 4 year college. There will be a lot of upheavals in their lives, that we in the western world did not experience when we were their age.

New PP here. And we have a very similar experience and approach (I am also a product of international schools abroad and DH public and fun details but i also taught them cursive and have yearly French and English reading lists for them to go through..). I like the way you are framing this and it helps me feel more secure in my choice. I sometimes feel bad i am not offering my kids the International school experience that i had. But i also think supporting public schools and experiencing diversity is important.

I end up supplementing more and investing more of our time in education as well as saving more money for undergrad and grad schools. If money was truly no object maybe the story would be different (and my support for public school would be proven as hypocritical...). But even with our relatively priviledge UMC salaries the choice of Public makes more sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

I've explained my reasoning multiple times on DCUM, but basically it boils down to private school not offering the best quality:price ratio before college.

That being said, you do pay for your child's public education - in that the best schools are in the best neighborhoods, which have expensive real estate. But at the end of your kid's K-12, you still have your house, and it will have turned into a solid investment, since everyone wants to buy into the good school district. If you pay for private instead, the money is gone.

We moved to be inbounds to the best school district that also worked for our commutes. We were house poor for a while, but now our investment has paid off.

If you can't move because you have a great mortgage, and your public school is crap... then that might be the only time when temporary private schooling might help you out.

This reasoning, such as it is, doesn't consider, even once, the need of an individual child.

Yes, the financial component is an important consideration. But to suggest that it is the only consideration is incredibly myopic, and really says something about the PP.

PP you replied to. I did not suggest it was the only consideration, but it is the most important one. My kids (one gifted, one with special needs) went through MCPS, and a brief stint in private in another country. I am the product of a posh international private in my home country. My husband survived rough public schools where he was bullied and he forced his parents to lie about their address so he could attend a public where he wasn't shoved into a locker every day. Our collective experience runs the gamut.

I taught my kids cursive and gave them a reading list of French and English classic literature every summer. I taught them everything I felt they should know that publics were not teaching. We paid for tutors and various enrichments because we weren't strapped by private tuition. And now, we can afford any college, graduate school, downpayment on homes, etc, because we invested the money we saved into the stock market.

I am here to tell you that yes, MONEY is the most important factor in your life and your children's lives. This is not something people talk about in face to face conversations, but it's the obvious truth. The arc of your children's lives is long and you don't know what the future will bring and what difference your money will make. What's clear is that with the rise of AI and the fracture of the old geopolitical order, their lives will not look at all like yours! If you have access to a relatively good public system, don't spit on it. Make it work! Your obligation to your children does not stop when they turn 18, or when they graduate from a 4 year college. There will be a lot of upheavals in their lives, that we in the western world did not experience when we were their age.

This is interesting. I definitely think the better question is not public vs private, but public + supplementing at a cost that is still much less than private. While there are benefits to the time and stress saved by going private if you end up in one where you no longer have to supplement (or stress about it), and potentially behavioral, I think the decision is less clear cut when framed this way.

DP here. I agree, and it's true that some of what my family is paying for, in our specific case, is the customer service of having this stuff handled by the private school.

I do not have the bandwidth (or in some subjects, the knowledge) to teach my teen at home in the evenings. Teen would have to drop extracurriculars to do RSM or whatever paid outside program to supplement public school academics. I never need to stand over my kid to ensure homework is getting done, or to find out about music competitions they should enter.

You can call me lazy, but I know myself and my family and our home lives are better because I'm not trying (and probably failing) to supplement in the evenings after work. And kid is free to do music lessons and scouts and go to bed on time, instead of learning material that should have been taught at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

I've explained my reasoning multiple times on DCUM, but basically it boils down to private school not offering the best quality:price ratio before college.

That being said, you do pay for your child's public education - in that the best schools are in the best neighborhoods, which have expensive real estate. But at the end of your kid's K-12, you still have your house, and it will have turned into a solid investment, since everyone wants to buy into the good school district. If you pay for private instead, the money is gone.

We moved to be inbounds to the best school district that also worked for our commutes. We were house poor for a while, but now our investment has paid off.

If you can't move because you have a great mortgage, and your public school is crap... then that might be the only time when temporary private schooling might help you out.

This reasoning, such as it is, doesn't consider, even once, the need of an individual child.

Yes, the financial component is an important consideration. But to suggest that it is the only consideration is incredibly myopic, and really says something about the PP.

PP you replied to. I did not suggest it was the only consideration, but it is the most important one. My kids (one gifted, one with special needs) went through MCPS, and a brief stint in private in another country. I am the product of a posh international private in my home country. My husband survived rough public schools where he was bullied and he forced his parents to lie about their address so he could attend a public where he wasn't shoved into a locker every day. Our collective experience runs the gamut.

I taught my kids cursive and gave them a reading list of French and English classic literature every summer. I taught them everything I felt they should know that publics were not teaching. We paid for tutors and various enrichments because we weren't strapped by private tuition. And now, we can afford any college, graduate school, downpayment on homes, etc, because we invested the money we saved into the stock market.

I am here to tell you that yes, MONEY is the most important factor in your life and your children's lives. This is not something people talk about in face to face conversations, but it's the obvious truth. The arc of your children's lives is long and you don't know what the future will bring and what difference your money will make. What's clear is that with the rise of AI and the fracture of the old geopolitical order, their lives will not look at all like yours! If you have access to a relatively good public system, don't spit on it. Make it work! Your obligation to your children does not stop when they turn 18, or when they graduate from a 4 year college. There will be a lot of upheavals in their lives, that we in the western world did not experience when we were their age.

Sounds good until you factor in the very real safety issues in today’s public schools. Kids are seriously injured (physically and emotionally) at schools these days. Money doesn’t safety.

[Anonymous]

Money doesn’t trump safety.

Sorry for the typo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

I've explained my reasoning multiple times on DCUM, but basically it boils down to private school not offering the best quality:price ratio before college.

That being said, you do pay for your child's public education - in that the best schools are in the best neighborhoods, which have expensive real estate. But at the end of your kid's K-12, you still have your house, and it will have turned into a solid investment, since everyone wants to buy into the good school district. If you pay for private instead, the money is gone.

We moved to be inbounds to the best school district that also worked for our commutes. We were house poor for a while, but now our investment has paid off.

If you can't move because you have a great mortgage, and your public school is crap... then that might be the only time when temporary private schooling might help you out.

This reasoning, such as it is, doesn't consider, even once, the need of an individual child.

Yes, the financial component is an important consideration. But to suggest that it is the only consideration is incredibly myopic, and really says something about the PP.

PP you replied to. I did not suggest it was the only consideration, but it is the most important one. My kids (one gifted, one with special needs) went through MCPS, and a brief stint in private in another country. I am the product of a posh international private in my home country. My husband survived rough public schools where he was bullied and he forced his parents to lie about their address so he could attend a public where he wasn't shoved into a locker every day. Our collective experience runs the gamut.

I taught my kids cursive and gave them a reading list of French and English classic literature every summer. I taught them everything I felt they should know that publics were not teaching. We paid for tutors and various enrichments because we weren't strapped by private tuition. And now, we can afford any college, graduate school, downpayment on homes, etc, because we invested the money we saved into the stock market.

I am here to tell you that yes, MONEY is the most important factor in your life and your children's lives. This is not something people talk about in face to face conversations, but it's the obvious truth. The arc of your children's lives is long and you don't know what the future will bring and what difference your money will make. What's clear is that with the rise of AI and the fracture of the old geopolitical order, their lives will not look at all like yours! If you have access to a relatively good public system, don't spit on it. Make it work! Your obligation to your children does not stop when they turn 18, or when they graduate from a 4 year college. There will be a lot of upheavals in their lives, that we in the western world did not experience when we were their age.

What about behavior and culture? I don't find it too hard to supplement academic subjects during elementary school, but if your public school has even a few severely disruptive kids it can affect your kids' behavior. Our public didn't even really have many of those kids, but the overall culture was crass, anti-education, and screen-heavy, so I pulled DS so he wouldn't spend 6+ hours a day around that environment. Those behaviors and values can creep in and become normal to a child who is surrounded by it.

[Anonymous]

You should read this thread from the private school forum. It’s quite lengthy and full of parents who are very happy that they moved from public to private.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1304526.page

[Anonymous]

Our kid was also high performing at a great Arlington elementary school. We moved to private this year mostly because I wanted that option for middle school, and we happened to get in (unexpectedly), and I didn’t want to lose the spot. All else equal, I wish we could have waited until 6th so she could have solidified her very good neighborhood friends.

That said, her private school cohort seems stronger academically — this really surprised me, as we live in a wealthy neighborhood with tons of advanced degree parents. She was, as I understand it, near the tippy top at her public; she is in the top quarter at her private, but not the very top. I’m glad she has a peer group that might challenge her a bit — and, at the very least, show her she can’t be the smartest one in the room with zero effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should read this thread from the private school forum. It’s quite lengthy and full of parents who are very happy that they moved from public to private.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1304526.page

I think this is the link you meant to send.

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1304273.page

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No.

I've explained my reasoning multiple times on DCUM, but basically it boils down to private school not offering the best quality:price ratio before college.

That being said, you do pay for your child's public education - in that the best schools are in the best neighborhoods, which have expensive real estate. But at the end of your kid's K-12, you still have your house, and it will have turned into a solid investment, since everyone wants to buy into the good school district. If you pay for private instead, the money is gone.

We moved to be inbounds to the best school district that also worked for our commutes. We were house poor for a while, but now our investment has paid off.

If you can't move because you have a great mortgage, and your public school is crap... then that might be the only time when temporary private schooling might help you out.

This reasoning, such as it is, doesn't consider, even once, the need of an individual child.

Yes, the financial component is an important consideration. But to suggest that it is the only consideration is incredibly myopic, and really says something about the PP.

PP you replied to. I did not suggest it was the only consideration, but it is the most important one. My kids (one gifted, one with special needs) went through MCPS, and a brief stint in private in another country. I am the product of a posh international private in my home country. My husband survived rough public schools where he was bullied and he forced his parents to lie about their address so he could attend a public where he wasn't shoved into a locker every day. Our collective experience runs the gamut.

I taught my kids cursive and gave them a reading list of French and English classic literature every summer. I taught them everything I felt they should know that publics were not teaching. We paid for tutors and various enrichments because we weren't strapped by private tuition. And now, we can afford any college, graduate school, downpayment on homes, etc, because we invested the money we saved into the stock market.

I am here to tell you that yes, MONEY is the most important factor in your life and your children's lives. This is not something people talk about in face to face conversations, but it's the obvious truth. The arc of your children's lives is long and you don't know what the future will bring and what difference your money will make. What's clear is that with the rise of AI and the fracture of the old geopolitical order, their lives will not look at all like yours! If you have access to a relatively good public system, don't spit on it. Make it work! Your obligation to your children does not stop when they turn 18, or when they graduate from a 4 year college. There will be a lot of upheavals in their lives, that we in the western world did not experience when we were their age.

I want to thank you, PP, for this post. I'm just a reader of this thread, not the OP. However, your advice is wise.

[Anonymous]

Like many families, we've been very happy with our public ES experience, but are growing incredibly wary of the upcoming MS experience. I've heard similar from other families who've made the jump.

I'm more and more intrigued by private, but I know my kids likely won't get in (even though we can full pay) to anywhere but a local parochial school, and we aren't interested in that since we don't attend any religious services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Like many families, we've been very happy with our public ES experience, but are growing incredibly wary of the upcoming MS experience. I've heard similar from other families who've made the jump.

I'm more and more intrigued by private, but I know my kids likely won't get in (even though we can full pay) to anywhere but a local parochial school, and we aren't interested in that since we don't attend any religious services.

Annddd I posted this in the wrong thread. Clearly, I need more education of any sort.

[Anonymous]

If you have to ask, it's probably not. For us the cost is not a major consideration and there are specific reasons we want private related to our kids' strengths and weaknesses.