What is a greater leg up?

[Anonymous]

I think the biggest 'leg up' is being raised by parents who are mature adults with no significant personality disorders, substance abuse, etc. We recently met with someone at our bank who mentioned that he deals with really wealthy families that often have one child with significant substance use, failure to launch etc. issues and that they have to put procedures in place regarding inheritances, etc. as a result. I'm pretty sure the adult children with all the issues didn't get these issues completely on their own. They might have inherited psychological issues or have them based on their upbringing. I frequently wish I had been raised in a psychologically healthy family even if it meant I never went to a private college, etc. Even if I ended up being an elementary school teacher back in my small hometown vs. my "prestigious career." I think being happy and healthy and grounded and all that is really priceless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the biggest 'leg up' is being raised by parents who are mature adults with no significant personality disorders, substance abuse, etc. We recently met with someone at our bank who mentioned that he deals with really wealthy families that often have one child with significant substance use, failure to launch etc. issues and that they have to put procedures in place regarding inheritances, etc. as a result. I'm pretty sure the adult children with all the issues didn't get these issues completely on their own. They might have inherited psychological issues or have them based on their upbringing. I frequently wish I had been raised in a psychologically healthy family even if it meant I never went to a private college, etc. Even if I ended up being an elementary school teacher back in my small hometown vs. my "prestigious career." I think being happy and healthy and grounded and all that is really priceless.

Sensible post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being an extraordinary talented at a sport(s) or academics OR being average at sports and/or academics but having parents who are wealthy (HHI $500k and up)?

All things being equal in your hypothetical, wealth is the better leg up. But I would say being charming, attractive, and having excellent social skills beats brains, athleticism and money.

[Anonymous]

Right now the wealthiest a much better leg up. Buying into that first job post college etc through connections, being able to take a free internship and not worry about paying rent or food. Money gives you choices and ability to chase opportunities. Brilliance but no money it a lot more hustle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kushner perfect example of an idiot born into a filthy rich family

Corrupt too. Jared’s father went to jail for tax evasion and witness tampering. Jared is following his father’s footsteps where he puts money above all else. Trump same thing. His father was a draft dodger just like Jr. Trump Sr was a racist pig who was arrested twice , once for being a slum lord and once for being with a group in Queens marching with the KKK in 1929.

The Bushes and especially the Kennedys were a mixture of good and bad. These are not good role models.

Most billionaires are self made and did not inherit a family business like Kushner and Trump. Most started a business and became successful through hard work, intelligence, determination, and never giving up. Certain traits give you a leg up. Money will help the regular kids to reach their potential by buying the tools necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being an extraordinary talented at a sport(s) or academics OR being average at sports and/or academics but having parents who are wealthy (HHI $500k and up)?

Statistically speaking, it is the wealth. This is not debatable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op - sorry bad explanation. By extraordinary talent I think I mean more like talented/gifted and going to college for sports. Not once in a generation talent (LaBron James or Simon Biles).

Wealthy, of course. The problem is that it could also go the other way, with the kid doing drugs, not seeing the value of working hard or striving (no need with family money).

[Anonymous]

I mean, having an extraordinary talent is obviously a gift but coming from a high income stable background is probably more of a predictor of future financial stability.

[Anonymous]

Comparing upper middle class family wealth that lets you avoid stupid debt early in adulthood (college tuition covered, assistance with basic living expenses as needed as a young adult, probably even help with a down payment) with athletic/academic talent that is sufficient to get a reasonable scholarship at a relatively good school?


The financial leg up BY FAR - as long as parents instill a work ethic and have appropriate expectations.

Not having consumer debt or student loans and being able to get on the property ladder is so beneficial.

[Anonymous]

Wealth.

[Anonymous]

I'll let you know in 10-15 years. Our HHI is 600K and my ES kids are trending average in everything. 80-something percentile test scores, no gifted classes, won't be in a magnet, won't be D1 athletic recruits. Just regularly performing kids.

Also, statistically, wouldn't the descriptor above apply to MOST kids? Don't let DCUM fool you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll let you know in 10-15 years. Our HHI is 600K and my ES kids are trending average in everything. 80-something percentile test scores, no gifted classes, won't be in a magnet, won't be D1 athletic recruits. Just regularly performing kids.

Also, statistically, wouldn't the descriptor above apply to MOST kids? Don't let DCUM fool you.

As a parent with a kid in the 80-90th percentile - I consider that above average (maybe not around here in Lake Woebegon).

And having scores myself in the 97-99th percentile, as well as significant academic success and knowing a lot of people in the 80 - 99th percentile - those extra ~15 or so percentile points are far less important than a good work ethic, curiosity, and reasonably good social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being an extraordinary talented at a sport(s) or academics OR being average at sports and/or academics but having parents who are wealthy (HHI $500k and up)?

Wealth. You need luck even being a great athlete. An athlete could get injured, coach does not like you, wrong team, wrong system, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll let you know in 10-15 years. Our HHI is 600K and my ES kids are trending average in everything. 80-something percentile test scores, no gifted classes, won't be in a magnet, won't be D1 athletic recruits. Just regularly performing kids.

Also, statistically, wouldn't the descriptor above apply to MOST kids? Don't let DCUM fool you.

Your kids testing in the 80th percentile give or take is pretty sweet. Especially with a high income they’ll be able to find higher education that fits their interests. No pressure from a crazy parent who brings their child to specialists to find out why aren’t they number one? No insecure kids because of the parents who keep pushing the latest sports trend even though the kids hate it.

You have the funds IF they need some extra help or are struggling in any way. That’s the best situation to be in.

[Anonymous]

You are focusing on the wrong thing, OP. All the natural advantages in the world aren't going to help them succeed at life if they can't find intrinsic motivation, a good work ethic, and a strong sense of self. Focus on imparting that and less navel gazing on whether they are better off than other kids by virtue of circumstances outside of your/their control. Weird post.