"Happy Heavenly Birthday!"

[Anonymous]

its very strange

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I give them major side eye on FB and would be quite irritated by them if they were texts. I don't mind it if it's like, someone saying their mom who's been dead for 15 years would be 100 today, she was such a cool lady! But when it's my sister posting sappy crap each year about my dad who died 5 years ago in his 60s, yeah, that's annoying AF.

So it’s ok for a FB friend who lost their parent 15 years ago but not your own sister who lost hers only five years ago? Grief doesn’t have a time limit.

[Anonymous]

So easily irritated at people remembering their loved ones. Maybe get off SM? You all sound miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, it’s annoying. Someone who is dead has stopped having birthdays.

Right. But people close to the deceased remember their birthdays. I don't post it publicly but I mostly use FB as a journal.

[Anonymous]

Same, OP.

[Anonymous]

I totally don’t get it - like how do you know your deceased relative is on Facebook while in heaven? I hope there are better things to do!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's weird for people to send any birthday wishes on Facebook for close relatives. Like why do you need the validation of social media to tell your wife, whom you live with, Happy Birthday?

Even dumber to say it about dead people who won't see it at all.

Why have funerals or obituaries?

For The Living.

OK: Today would have been Bill's 75th. I miss him. Hey Carl, remember that time Bill fell off the roof? What a guy? Judy, I'm thinking about you today. I know you miss Bill terribly since you were married for 50 wonderful years.

Cringe: Happy Birthday Bill. I miss you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's weird for people to send any birthday wishes on Facebook for close relatives. Like why do you need the validation of social media to tell your wife, whom you live with, Happy Birthday?

Even dumber to say it about dead people who won't see it at all.

Why have funerals or obituaries?

For The Living.

OK: Today would have been Bill's 75th. I miss him. Hey Carl, remember that time Bill fell off the roof? What a guy? Judy, I'm thinking about you today. I know you miss Bill terribly since you were married for 50 wonderful years.

Cringe: Happy Birthday Bill. I miss you.

This is another point. When it comes to death, people project their feelings onto others. Nothing says that Judy misses Bill or that she wasn't coping with his death while he was alive, particularly if he was sick. Others making public statements forces Judy to agree even if she might have already moved on. Sometimes others trap you into grieving longer than you may need.

[Anonymous]

"I'm not in heaven. These messages make me uncomfortable."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's meant in a kind spirit, and I would receive it as such.

+! Too many people on DCUM are hypercritical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's weird for people to send any birthday wishes on Facebook for close relatives. Like why do you need the validation of social media to tell your wife, whom you live with, Happy Birthday?

Even dumber to say it about dead people who won't see it at all.

Why have funerals or obituaries?

For The Living.

OK: Today would have been Bill's 75th. I miss him. Hey Carl, remember that time Bill fell off the roof? What a guy? Judy, I'm thinking about you today. I know you miss Bill terribly since you were married for 50 wonderful years.

Cringe: Happy Birthday Bill. I miss you.

This is another point. When it comes to death, people project their feelings onto others. Nothing says that Judy misses Bill or that she wasn't coping with his death while he was alive, particularly if he was sick. Others making public statements forces Judy to agree even if she might have already moved on. Sometimes others trap you into grieving longer than you may need.

PP you're responding to. Yes, that's a really good point. Social media is probably not the way to go with any of this. I was just trying to think of a way to make it less cringe. Don't even get me started on "In memory of" stickers on people's cars...

[Anonymous]

You are on Face Book still?!

[Anonymous]

I can maybe understand you, the OP, are irritated that your cousin is reaching out and posting on your parents birthdays.

But, I have no problem with my friend who lost her husband to cancer when he was 46 posting on his birthday. It's 3 years ago and I still think about him as well.

Heck, I was talking to may Dad the other day and we were both remarked that today is grandma's (his Mom's) 120th birthday! How about that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can maybe understand you, the OP, are irritated that your cousin is reaching out and posting on your parents birthdays.

But, I have no problem with my friend who lost her husband to cancer when he was 46 posting on his birthday. It's 3 years ago and I still think about him as well.

Heck, I was talking to may Dad the other day and we were both remarked that today is grandma's (his Mom's) 120th birthday! How about that!

Happy 120th Birthday Mee-Maw. If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. Probably not in great shape at 120, but still, it's not like you're reading this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can maybe understand you, the OP, are irritated that your cousin is reaching out and posting on your parents birthdays.

But, I have no problem with my friend who lost her husband to cancer when he was 46 posting on his birthday. It's 3 years ago and I still think about him as well.

Heck, I was talking to may Dad the other day and we were both remarked that today is grandma's (his Mom's) 120th birthday! How about that!

But that's the thing-- it's not her 120th birthday. Her birthdays stopped when she died, so why keep counting? There's a start and an end to life for a reason.