Kids taking stuff at the pool

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here it goes… don’t wear expensive stuff to the pool. She isn’t going to die or struggle if she walks to the pool with cheap flip flops or sneakers. Use the lockers that they have to lock up the stuff. Get a bag and have a lock on the bag. So many options.

Yes. One option is to ingrain in our kids, don't steal other people's stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and at swim team pickup I got the sandals and part of the story.

Our club has a kids’ camp- members can sign up for a week at a time and the camp handles childcare plus gets kids to lessons and practice. Kids’ camp had a field trip but a girl showed up with no shoes and was told no field trip for her. Kid “found” her shoes and was allowed to go on the field trip.

One of DD’s friends figured out what happened after watching DD go through the lost & found yet again and got the shoes back. They were trashed and may have been worn in water and in the shower, unfortunately. I spoke with kids’ club and the manager asking if they knew who the kid was, and it was a kid who wasn’t even supposed to be at camp because they’re the grandchild of a member and that’s prohibited, so there’s a whole other thing that’s been brewing in the background (pool has a crazy waitlist so local adult children of members are always trying to sneak in sideways).

Anyway, the whole thing is long and convoluted but I’m relieved that I’ll never see the kid or meet her parents. The sandals aren’t wearable so DD and I talked it out and decided on a 50/50 split to buy new ones and she agreed that it was a lesson learned.

Wait so what happened to the camper’s shoes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP and at swim team pickup I got the sandals and part of the story.

Our club has a kids’ camp- members can sign up for a week at a time and the camp handles childcare plus gets kids to lessons and practice. Kids’ camp had a field trip but a girl showed up with no shoes and was told no field trip for her. Kid “found” her shoes and was allowed to go on the field trip.

One of DD’s friends figured out what happened after watching DD go through the lost & found yet again and got the shoes back. They were trashed and may have been worn in water and in the shower, unfortunately. I spoke with kids’ club and the manager asking if they knew who the kid was, and it was a kid who wasn’t even supposed to be at camp because they’re the grandchild of a member and that’s prohibited, so there’s a whole other thing that’s been brewing in the background (pool has a crazy waitlist so local adult children of members are always trying to sneak in sideways).

Anyway, the whole thing is long and convoluted but I’m relieved that I’ll never see the kid or meet her parents. The sandals aren’t wearable so DD and I talked it out and decided on a 50/50 split to buy new ones and she agreed that it was a lesson learned.

Wait so what happened to the camper’s shoes?

That part was fuzzy but DD’s friend said the girl got out of the grandparents’ car that morning barefoot.

[Anonymous]

[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know pools are pretty chaotic, but I’m so frustrated with having to be super vigilant about possessions at a private club.

Things walk away at our pool fairly regularly. It doesn’t help that it is a big pool that hosts early morning workouts for age group clubs and has hosted a ton of home meets this year. Most recently my DD’s Birkenstocks were taken while she was in the pool during practice. They were under her backpack so they wouldn’t get wet (yes, I know it was a mistake to not zip them inside, and she does, too, now) so someone was pretty deliberate about taking them.

I’m guessing that some kid lost their shoes and took my DD’s so they wouldn’t have to tell their parents theirs were lost.

We live in a pretty affluent area and it seems like a lot of kids are pretty loosey goosey about their stuff. We also had a thing with kids losing team shirts and then taking any shirts that weren’t on someone’s body to replace them. When confronted and shown the name on the tag of a stolen shirt, one kid just said they didn’t know it wasn’t theirs and the matter was dropped. I’ve had a sweatshirt taken off a chaise while I was swimming laps- it was one that lots of people ordered that season but it was also very clearly with my things and had my name on the tag.

Is there anything we can do as a pool community to change this culture? I didn’t grow up with much so losing things makes me absolutely bonkers, and the idea of kids taking stuff and not seeing it as a big deal really disgusts me.

For anyone asking why DD doesn’t just wear cheap flip flops- she does for the shower, but we walk to the pool and she has Sever’s so she has to wear shoes with more structure for that.

Odd you created a whole narrative about the theft.

OP and I can create a whole narrative about pretty much anything. Random theft would be way weirder than theft with a purpose.

But see above for my update- a kid did take them but not because they didn’t want to tell parents but rather because they didn’t want to miss a field trip. I wasn’t that far off.

I would just think they were taken as a mistake (parent picked up wrong shoes) or someone took them bc they wanted them. No long narrative or explanation made up

Not to nitpick but you literally just created two narratives in the process of criticizing someone for creating narratives…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[img]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know pools are pretty chaotic, but I’m so frustrated with having to be super vigilant about possessions at a private club.

Things walk away at our pool fairly regularly. It doesn’t help that it is a big pool that hosts early morning workouts for age group clubs and has hosted a ton of home meets this year. Most recently my DD’s Birkenstocks were taken while she was in the pool during practice. They were under her backpack so they wouldn’t get wet (yes, I know it was a mistake to not zip them inside, and she does, too, now) so someone was pretty deliberate about taking them.

I’m guessing that some kid lost their shoes and took my DD’s so they wouldn’t have to tell their parents theirs were lost.

We live in a pretty affluent area and it seems like a lot of kids are pretty loosey goosey about their stuff. We also had a thing with kids losing team shirts and then taking any shirts that weren’t on someone’s body to replace them. When confronted and shown the name on the tag of a stolen shirt, one kid just said they didn’t know it wasn’t theirs and the matter was dropped. I’ve had a sweatshirt taken off a chaise while I was swimming laps- it was one that lots of people ordered that season but it was also very clearly with my things and had my name on the tag.

Is there anything we can do as a pool community to change this culture? I didn’t grow up with much so losing things makes me absolutely bonkers, and the idea of kids taking stuff and not seeing it as a big deal really disgusts me.

For anyone asking why DD doesn’t just wear cheap flip flops- she does for the shower, but we walk to the pool and she has Sever’s so she has to wear shoes with more structure for that.

Odd you created a whole narrative about the theft.

OP and I can create a whole narrative about pretty much anything. Random theft would be way weirder than theft with a purpose.

But see above for my update- a kid did take them but not because they didn’t want to tell parents but rather because they didn’t want to miss a field trip. I wasn’t that far off.

I would just think they were taken as a mistake (parent picked up wrong shoes) or someone took them bc they wanted them. No long narrative or explanation made up

Not to nitpick but you literally just created two narratives in the process of criticizing someone for creating narratives…

I meant: i wouldn't think anything more than they were taken bc it was a mistake or it was intentional. What I wrote in parenthesis was an example of how they would have been mistakenly taken. I only wrote that b/c I envisioned another poster asking how someone accidentally takes someone else's shoes. But if my kid's shoes were gone, I'd think someone took them purposefully or accidentally but would not think more into an imaginary motive.

[Anonymous]

Never had it happen. Logo the bag, shirt, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had adults gather up our pool toys and deny it until I showed them they had our name on them.

This is the main problem at our pool. Not outright stealing, but a sense of entitlement that anything unsecured must be theirs or is free for the taking. Or if it's not in use, they should be able to use it. I've had a kid argue that she should be able to use our float because my daughter "isn't using it right now." We hadn't even staked out our lounge chairs yet. Rather than correcting this, adults then attempt to gaslight you into thinking this all encourages neighborhood fellowship. Mi mermaid goggles es su mermaid goggles.

I just accept that the neighborhood pool brings out uncouth behavior. Don't get me started on how parents discipline their children when there's industrially chlorinated water present. I understand why people spend so much money to put in a private pool.

Yes, it's super weird to me. It's not that the guy picked them up, which could have been an accident, but he was so weirdly defensive and accusatory toward me when they were ours all along.

I also don't understand the entitlement. I've shared towels, toys, sunscreen, snacks when asked or just to be friendly, but why is any parent letting their child use other people's stuff without asking? If my kid did that, I'd correct them.

But I do wonder if like how OP.mentioned being poor, it has something to do with how our families of origin treated possessions. We weren't rich or poor, but things were always seen as "valuable" because someone paid for them and they were supposed to be cared for even if they only cost a few dollars. I wonder if some people just don't care about the cost to replace pool toys and towels so it doesn't matter whether theirs go missing and assume others don't care either?

[Anonymous]

I try to always bring a big rubber ball so I can watch it make its way around the pool after my kids play with it. I felt bad when the people that had rented out the birthday party had adopted it with all of their kids chasing it and we had to go home and take it with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP and at swim team pickup I got the sandals and part of the story.

Our club has a kids’ camp- members can sign up for a week at a time and the camp handles childcare plus gets kids to lessons and practice. Kids’ camp had a field trip but a girl showed up with no shoes and was told no field trip for her. Kid “found” her shoes and was allowed to go on the field trip.

One of DD’s friends figured out what happened after watching DD go through the lost & found yet again and got the shoes back. They were trashed and may have been worn in water and in the shower, unfortunately. I spoke with kids’ club and the manager asking if they knew who the kid was, and it was a kid who wasn’t even supposed to be at camp because they’re the grandchild of a member and that’s prohibited, so there’s a whole other thing that’s been brewing in the background (pool has a crazy waitlist so local adult children of members are always trying to sneak in sideways).

Anyway, the whole thing is long and convoluted but I’m relieved that I’ll never see the kid or meet her parents. The sandals aren’t wearable so DD and I talked it out and decided on a 50/50 split to buy new ones and she agreed that it was a lesson learned.

No consequences for this girl or her family that is clearly skirting the rules?

[Anonymous]

I’m confused how OP identified that this one girl was the one who took the shoes? Or were there assumptions made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m confused how OP identified that this one girl was the one who took the shoes? Or were there assumptions made?

OP and I identified her first from DD's friend asking what DD was looking for in the Lost & Found. DD told her and the friend, who goes to the all-day camp, was like, you know so-and-so took them yesterday because she didn't have shoes. I went to the lead kid's club counselor who I know from when they were younger and said, this is crazy and I probably have it wrong and then told her what DD's friend said.

An hour later the kid's club counselor came up to me and just said here they are, we found them. But didn't give any explanation. I know the pool manager well from being a team rep and we talk casually a lot. He came up to me a while later and said hey, I heard what happened and I'm so sorry and that never should have happened. He was the one who explained the grandparent thing. He's cancelled the girl's future camp registrations and I guess the Board will issue a formal warning to the grandparents for violating club policy. Usually those warnings only go out for alcohol incidents or fire lane parking drama.

He also will say something about incidents like this in general in this week's weekly update email because I guess some other stuff was "borrowed" at a swim meet last week and there was some damage caused inside the clubhouse during the big buddy/little buddy party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had adults gather up our pool toys and deny it until I showed them they had our name on them.

I’ve experienced that, too! And with towels- distinct ones from specific events that no other family in the area is likely to have.

How many towels or toys do they have at home that they “didn’t realize they weren’t ours”? We have like 3 little squid and rocket things we always bring and it’s really obvious to DH, me and our DCs that nothing else belongs to us.

My favorite was when a dad tried to tell me that my towel from a NJ women’s only triathlon circa 2010 was his family’s. Sir, I think it is highly unlikely that we both acquired a towel from this single-gender event and ended up as members of the same pool in Virginia more than a decade later and that you managed to sew my child’s camp name label onto it, but ok.

I’m sorry this happened, but this made me crack up. I hope you said it exactly like this 👏

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had my jaw on the floor reading some of these! We're at a MD pool and I have never had any hesitation leaving our bag, towel, food, stuff out on table or chairs while swimming. It's always been there when we've come back.

My daughter did have a swim team hoodie go missing one year, but it didn't have her name on the tag, and I'm chalking that one up to an honest mistake.

Agreed! I live in Baltimore and go to a middle class pool with no frills. I've left my iphone on the table while swimming (not the best, I agree), shoes, and all sorts of toys and clothes. Toys are always returned scrupulously. Only time I remember theft is at a fancy place in Fenwick Island someone stole high end flip flops left next to a low-use bridge from the beach to a few condos. So maybe it's just like "Crazy Rich Asians" said in the movie - rich people just love "Free" stuff?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We've had adults gather up our pool toys and deny it until I showed them they had our name on them.

I’ve experienced that, too! And with towels- distinct ones from specific events that no other family in the area is likely to have.

How many towels or toys do they have at home that they “didn’t realize they weren’t ours”? We have like 3 little squid and rocket things we always bring and it’s really obvious to DH, me and our DCs that nothing else belongs to us.

My favorite was when a dad tried to tell me that my towel from a NJ women’s only triathlon circa 2010 was his family’s. Sir, I think it is highly unlikely that we both acquired a towel from this single-gender event and ended up as members of the same pool in Virginia more than a decade later and that you managed to sew my child’s camp name label onto it, but ok.

I’m sorry this happened, but this made me crack up. I hope you said it exactly like this 👏

of course I didn't! It was more of a flustered excuse me! excuse me that's my towel! Only in my post-game debriefs do I come up with clever things to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here it goes… don’t wear expensive stuff to the pool. She isn’t going to die or struggle if she walks to the pool with cheap flip flops or sneakers. Use the lockers that they have to lock up the stuff. Get a bag and have a lock on the bag. So many options.

We don’t have lockers at our pool annd I can’t think of pools we’ve swam against that do. Are they common outside of rec centers?

I wish the solution in comments was “you’re right, kids shouldn’t take stuff” instead of “show up at the pool with nothing but a swimsuit otherwise you deserve for your stuff to be taken.” It’s a strange attitude but maybe your kid is a thief.

Sure. It would be nice if folks did not steal stuff. But here’s another life lesson, you can’t control others and what they do. You can only control you and you stuff. So the options available to YOU in this situation is to not wear to the pool, lock up, etc…The things people are suggesting are things you can control.