If you lost your job...

[Anonymous]

OP, you mentioned you don't currently have benefits.

This is an area where you can help by researching your options. Depending on the length of unemployment, you can help by researching different types of insurance (COBRA from past job, good-quality but high-deductible policies, etc.).

With regard to dental care, there are dentists who will give you the negotiated plan prices if you pay cash.

I find the price of eyeglasses varies nonsensical from store to store. Shopping around can save a lot.

You should also understand if your kids might be eligible for any state plans.

There are also a lot of workarounds to save money on common maintenance meds if you have any.

Figuring out a plan to keep some kind of stop-loss medical insurance is prudent. When my husband and I were between jobs for a couple of months in our 30s, I raised the medical payout coverage on our auto insurance. I figured that was likely to be our main source of risk of severe medical bills and it cost very little to make that change and gave me comfort.

[Anonymous]

You’re probably aware that cobra can be opted into retroactively. Keep the paperwork handy / fill it all out so if there’s a medical emergency you can easily submit it, but otherwise you can save the money - though I forget how long this is true.

[Anonymous]

Have been through this 3 times. Best thing you can do is keep communication open, and don't nag. We had stress because I was stressed about the lack of income, and was making him more stressed by pestering him all the time.

When he told me what was going on (applied for a position, talked to xx people, planned to meet with xx for coffee), that made my stress levels better which in turn took a touch of the pressure off him.

Agree with a pp who said to tell everyone, and not to be embarassed/ashamed. You never know where the next job will come from. For my spouse, he was rehired by a previous company, found one random job from a posting, and networked like crazy for the last/best job.

[Anonymous]

This is why we do over employment. It is irresponsible what your husband did, having only one full time job and losing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did your spouse help support you? My husband lost his job and it's hitting him really, really hard. He's early 50s and he has never faced total unemployment before. Contacts/his network is coming up empty. I suspect this will be a tough road.

We've built a great life together but things are looking so damn bleak right now. Our kids still have a long way to go before college. My current job is flexible but doesn't offer benefits so I'm applying to everything I can. Beyond the actionable steps, like cutting costs, searching for a better job for myself etc., how do I emotionally support my husband when I'm trying to hold back tears 24/7?

Give me advice, hopeful stories or just good vibes and prayers, I'll take it all.

I feel for you and your spouse OP. I was just in this position. My spouse lost his job and after 10 months of job searching and tons of interviews, he finally started a new job recently. He is making about 100k less than he was before but its better than unemployment. So, we have some relief but not total relief. Ive been searching for new jobs that pay more than I currently make to help make up some of the difference in income. It was a really hard 10 months and I wish you all the best.