what happened to your kid's "serious significant other" when the kids went to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you "not allow dating?" My kid has been 18 for most of senior year. Sure, we pay for the cell phone and food but she manages the rest of her expenses including working summer jobs for all her spending money and clothing money. She is a top student and is going to an Ivy this fall (threw that in because I know it rights any wrongs in the eyes of many DCUM posters).

So how was I to "forbid dating" when my kid is an adult? Pray tell, how did you do it?

First, you don’t wait until they are an adult. You set the expectation early - before they even start middle school. You start with talks about your expectations about their school experience. School is for learning and friends. You’re too young to think about romantic partners. When you move out and go to college you can start dating, but while you live under my roof…you monitor their cell phone, friend group, have an awareness of what’s going on. You don’t rush to get then places socially all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you "not allow dating?" My kid has been 18 for most of senior year. Sure, we pay for the cell phone and food but she manages the rest of her expenses including working summer jobs for all her spending money and clothing money. She is a top student and is going to an Ivy this fall (threw that in because I know it rights any wrongs in the eyes of many DCUM posters).

So how was I to "forbid dating" when my kid is an adult? Pray tell, how did you do it?

I agree that it’s impossible to forbid it. But I know a handful of parents who fully expect and encourage their teens to have romantic relationships, which I also think is weird and inappropriate. We stay completely neutral on this one. Kid leads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is one reason we don’t allow dating in high school. Then it just moves to drama in college and potential waste of a social life. Kid can date someone in college that goes to their school.

You are a crappy parent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you "not allow dating?" My kid has been 18 for most of senior year. Sure, we pay for the cell phone and food but she manages the rest of her expenses including working summer jobs for all her spending money and clothing money. She is a top student and is going to an Ivy this fall (threw that in because I know it rights any wrongs in the eyes of many DCUM posters).

So how was I to "forbid dating" when my kid is an adult? Pray tell, how did you do it?

I agree that it’s impossible to forbid it. But I know a handful of parents who fully expect and encourage their teens to have romantic relationships, which I also think is weird and inappropriate. We stay completely neutral on this one. Kid leads.

Agree. The people who are ok with or even encourage their middle school kids to date are crazy. We didn’t forbid but we didn’t encourage. If it happens it happens. In high school. Not before

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you "not allow dating?" My kid has been 18 for most of senior year. Sure, we pay for the cell phone and food but she manages the rest of her expenses including working summer jobs for all her spending money and clothing money. She is a top student and is going to an Ivy this fall (threw that in because I know it rights any wrongs in the eyes of many DCUM posters).

So how was I to "forbid dating" when my kid is an adult? Pray tell, how did you do it?

First, you don’t wait until they are an adult. You set the expectation early - before they even start middle school. You start with talks about your expectations about their school experience. School is for learning and friends. You’re too young to think about romantic partners. When you move out and go to college you can start dating, but while you live under my roof…you monitor their cell phone, friend group, have an awareness of what’s going on. You don’t rush to get then places socially all the time.

Omg the religious moral shit parent has arrived in the chat

Abortion in college stds and bad relationships headed your kids way yahoo

[Anonymous]

We werent a plane ride apart, so my situation was different. But we stayed together, 20 years now. We even worked together at some points lol.

[Anonymous]

Ours began dating midway through high school and broke up the summer after junior year of college.

[Anonymous]

DD and her BF broke up 7 month into the freshman year. They started late in senior year high school (attending different schools) and tried the long distance bit. DD is doing double major at a college with high rigor and plays a club sport. BF is 6-7 hours of car ride away playing D3 sport at a high stress school. Eventually their differing personalities became clear. DD is non sticky and very independent. She will quietly digest her stress and is ok with not calling if BF is busy. However, BF was more emotionally dependent and needs to stay connected when he is stressed. It became a burden for DD and a stressor for BF.