Tips for caring for preemie

[Anonymous]

Have you tried syringe feeding? You can do that with your milk.

With my first kid, he was fine bf'ing for a day, then wouldn't eat, so they gave me syringe feeders. We had to use them off and on for the first week.

Maybe they would work better than bottles because it's my impression the baby just licks/swallows the drops - you provide the pressure to push the milk out (would be baby's suction on a bottle).

I think Monoject is the exact brand we got from the hospital.

These are cheap so if it doesn't work, no big loss.

https://www.amazon.com/Monoject-Curved-412-Syringes-5pcs/dp/B007Y8230G/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NUKka7nTRnY2jvdsYuG7Bgh0W1o6OKs4glIQPD2JMGPOkD_88_D35p-pWHVX9KR9.ko1skoVv-MQgcMe1LS8ii1Cs5RSpv35D1EBhojLg95k&dib_tag=se&qid=1750309634&refinements=p_89%3AMonoject&sr=8-1&srs=115930984011

[Anonymous]

PP. Are you able to shop at Trader Joe's? I mention this because they have some yummy frozen meals.

You might actually find that frozen dinners are more nutritious than pure junk food. Depending on what you select.

Bagged salad might be good for getting your digestive system back working. There are a lot of mixes now that are actually quite good. It's not a lot of calories but will fill you up, in addition to your proteins, if you're feeling voracious but don't want to eat 4,000 calories in one sitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had 35wk twins and pumped. It was tough.

My advice is to put DH in charge of as much as you can (washing pump parts, errands etc).

For food, maybe order some easy things from Costco or supermarket instead? Rotisserie chicken, bagged salad etc. ask DH to cut up a ton of fruit for you (I was obsessed with fruit at that stage- berries, melon etc). I also loved cut veggies with spinach artichoke dip and that sort of thing. Some of the Costco premade stuff is not bad (chicken pot pie or chicken soup, taco platters, take and bake pasta dishes etc). Definitely better than fast food IMO. Also lots of good stuff in the refrigerator section. Maybe some cold sandwich stuff if you like- easy to safely eat with one hand while holding a baby. Also muffins, quick breads or bagels with cream cheese etc.

My wife did this. We had a preemie who after Nicu wouldn’t breastfeed. I literally did everything because she saw pumping as her only responsibility and was convinced it was all she could or should do. She had to pump once overnight but I’d have to get up 2-3 times a night to care for a crying baby. This was on top of Covid and not having any parental leave myself, while she was on parental leave.

I knew something was amiss. It turned out she had postpartum depression. It’s hard in the moment to separate out exhaustion and all the changes from something clinically significant. Ultimately it was that she missed out on the “normal” child birth experience, first few weeks, plus the fact the baby never latched…

If you’re feeling really overwhelmed it can’t hurt to be evaluated. There’s nothing wrong with that. Preemies and Nicu and post Nicu are difficult moments and no one who hasn’t been through it understands it.

Deep down I probably resent her for this, but I do try to suppress those feelings. But it literally took years off of my life and wore me down. I can buckle down and grind when something just needs to be done.

But, all of this is to say, just shifting the burden of everything else onto your husband bc pumping is a pain is not the optimal path. 1. See if something clinically significant is happening, 2. Be reasonable about 1 person can do.

Presumably she was also the one who delivered an infant and recovered from that delivery? Or did you do that as part of your “literally everything”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had 35wk twins and pumped. It was tough.

My advice is to put DH in charge of as much as you can (washing pump parts, errands etc).

For food, maybe order some easy things from Costco or supermarket instead? Rotisserie chicken, bagged salad etc. ask DH to cut up a ton of fruit for you (I was obsessed with fruit at that stage- berries, melon etc). I also loved cut veggies with spinach artichoke dip and that sort of thing. Some of the Costco premade stuff is not bad (chicken pot pie or chicken soup, taco platters, take and bake pasta dishes etc). Definitely better than fast food IMO. Also lots of good stuff in the refrigerator section. Maybe some cold sandwich stuff if you like- easy to safely eat with one hand while holding a baby. Also muffins, quick breads or bagels with cream cheese etc.

My wife did this. We had a preemie who after Nicu wouldn’t breastfeed. I literally did everything because she saw pumping as her only responsibility and was convinced it was all she could or should do. She had to pump once overnight but I’d have to get up 2-3 times a night to care for a crying baby. This was on top of Covid and not having any parental leave myself, while she was on parental leave.

I knew something was amiss. It turned out she had postpartum depression. It’s hard in the moment to separate out exhaustion and all the changes from something clinically significant. Ultimately it was that she missed out on the “normal” child birth experience, first few weeks, plus the fact the baby never latched…

If you’re feeling really overwhelmed it can’t hurt to be evaluated. There’s nothing wrong with that. Preemies and Nicu and post Nicu are difficult moments and no one who hasn’t been through it understands it.

Deep down I probably resent her for this, but I do try to suppress those feelings. But it literally took years off of my life and wore me down. I can buckle down and grind when something just needs to be done.

But, all of this is to say, just shifting the burden of everything else onto your husband bc pumping is a pain is not the optimal path. 1. See if something clinically significant is happening, 2. Be reasonable about 1 person can do.

Presumably she was also the one who delivered an infant and recovered from that delivery? Or did you do that as part of your “literally everything”?

Let's not give this dad a hard time. I'm sure it sucked to be up for preemie feedings, have a wife with postpartum depression, and have to work the day shift.

[Anonymous]

I had twins at 31 weeks. Pumped 11 months. But they only had half their milk from me, other half was special high caloric formula they required. Everything I read suggested that babies don’t need all calories to come from breast milk to reap the benefits of breast milk. (NOT trying to start argument re breast vs formula). Can you cut back on pumping a bit and let DH do a formula feed 1-2x day? That will give you back some time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had twins at 31 weeks. Pumped 11 months. But they only had half their milk from me, other half was special high caloric formula they required. Everything I read suggested that babies don’t need all calories to come from breast milk to reap the benefits of breast milk. (NOT trying to start argument re breast vs formula). Can you cut back on pumping a bit and let DH do a formula feed 1-2x day? That will give you back some time.

I really just don’t want to use formula. We used some in the hospital and it made her super gassy and spit up. The high calorie formula can really cause stomach discomfort more than regular formula. I prefer to pump and feed her only my milk because that’s what’s works for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried syringe feeding? You can do that with your milk.

With my first kid, he was fine bf'ing for a day, then wouldn't eat, so they gave me syringe feeders. We had to use them off and on for the first week.

Maybe they would work better than bottles because it's my impression the baby just licks/swallows the drops - you provide the pressure to push the milk out (would be baby's suction on a bottle).

I think Monoject is the exact brand we got from the hospital.

These are cheap so if it doesn't work, no big loss.

https://www.amazon.com/Monoject-Curved-412-Syringes-5pcs/dp/B007Y8230G/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NUKka7nTRnY2jvdsYuG7Bgh0W1o6OKs4glIQPD2JMGPOkD_88_D35p-pWHVX9KR9.ko1skoVv-MQgcMe1LS8ii1Cs5RSpv35D1EBhojLg95k&dib_tag=se&qid=1750309634&refinements=p_89%3AMonoject&sr=8-1&srs=115930984011

We have done syringe feeding but the doctor said we can’t do that forever. We syringe feed if she doesn’t take enough of her bottle. They recommended we use the Dr. Brown’s 2oz bottles ( preemie) and those work for her. She takes 1-2oz every 1.5-2 hours. The feeding process takes like 30-45 minutes but she does eat. It’s more the matter of waking her up and keeping her awake during her feed.

I can try those syringes. We just use the regular syringes. I bought a bunch when I started collecting my colostrum ( just stuff that leaked) so we have a bunch left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP. Are you able to shop at Trader Joe's? I mention this because they have some yummy frozen meals.

You might actually find that frozen dinners are more nutritious than pure junk food. Depending on what you select.

Bagged salad might be good for getting your digestive system back working. There are a lot of mixes now that are actually quite good. It's not a lot of calories but will fill you up, in addition to your proteins, if you're feeling voracious but don't want to eat 4,000 calories in one sitting.

We don’t have a Trader Joe’s near us. Our closest stores are Whole Foods and Target.

I placed an order this morning for some groceries because I can’t wait until next week. Whole Foods has a lot of premade meals like dinners, soups, and salad kit. I bought those + staple items like eggs, yogurt, cheese, fruit, vegetables, trail mix, granola, etc. I also ordered lactation snacks and hydration packets from Amazon. I ate a real breakfast today and feel much better. I feel like I have more energy and I’m not just running on dateline until dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP. Are you able to shop at Trader Joe's? I mention this because they have some yummy frozen meals.

You might actually find that frozen dinners are more nutritious than pure junk food. Depending on what you select.

Bagged salad might be good for getting your digestive system back working. There are a lot of mixes now that are actually quite good. It's not a lot of calories but will fill you up, in addition to your proteins, if you're feeling voracious but don't want to eat 4,000 calories in one sitting.

We don’t have a Trader Joe’s near us. Our closest stores are Whole Foods and Target.

I placed an order this morning for some groceries because I can’t wait until next week. Whole Foods has a lot of premade meals like dinners, soups, and salad kit. I bought those + staple items like eggs, yogurt, cheese, fruit, vegetables, trail mix, granola, etc. I also ordered lactation snacks and hydration packets from Amazon. I ate a real breakfast today and feel much better. I feel like I have more energy and I’m not just running on dateline until dinner.

* running on adrenaline. Weird autocorrect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with takeout? I love takeout. Supplement with formula.

We are eating a lot of high salt and high fat foods. Think burger and fries, Chinese, tacos, etc.

I don’t want to use formula. I am only interested in feeding my milk. I don’t need formula supplement.

Mixing a little bit of formula with the breast milk is not a bad thing to do if you need to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s wrong with takeout? I love takeout. Supplement with formula.

We are eating a lot of high salt and high fat foods. Think burger and fries, Chinese, tacos, etc.

I don’t want to use formula. I am only interested in feeding my milk. I don’t need formula supplement.

Mixing a little bit of formula with the breast milk is not a bad thing to do if you need to.

I don’t. She’s eating 1-5.2oz a feed and I pump 2-4oz every 3 hours.

[Anonymous]

Be flexible and give yourself grace. I hear you keep saying "I won't give formula" and that attitude isnt going to win you prizes.

I had a 32 weeker and spent 1 month in the nicu. Once home he had to eat small bits every 2 hours and he cried a lot. He slept in small spurts but never more than a few hours. I had my husband and mom with me for many weeks. He went to daycare at 4 months.

For food we ate a lot of pre prepared meals, some people made and dropped off. Some I had frozen before giving birth. Some we bought at the store. I didnt stress about making a real meal for months. We ate what we had that was available and easy. Take out is totally fine. Do make sure you are drinking lots of water.

Husband cleaned pump parts and eventually did a night feed once I was able to skip that pump. I pumped for about 7 months. We used formula after that. Breast feeding never came easy.

I was exhausted for 8 month. When he turned a year I started to feel a little more normal. It was a very tiring time. That's why I say be flexible. Dont try for perfect. Just survive.

Fwiw he is now 10, very healthy, active, smart, and by all accounts doing well. Those first months are a distant dark memory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you tried syringe feeding? You can do that with your milk.

With my first kid, he was fine bf'ing for a day, then wouldn't eat, so they gave me syringe feeders. We had to use them off and on for the first week.

Maybe they would work better than bottles because it's my impression the baby just licks/swallows the drops - you provide the pressure to push the milk out (would be baby's suction on a bottle).

I think Monoject is the exact brand we got from the hospital.

These are cheap so if it doesn't work, no big loss.

https://www.amazon.com/Monoject-Curved-412-Syringes-5pcs/dp/B007Y8230G/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NUKka7nTRnY2jvdsYuG7Bgh0W1o6OKs4glIQPD2JMGPOkD_88_D35p-pWHVX9KR9.ko1skoVv-MQgcMe1LS8ii1Cs5RSpv35D1EBhojLg95k&dib_tag=se&qid=1750309634&refinements=p_89%3AMonoject&sr=8-1&srs=115930984011

We have done syringe feeding but the doctor said we can’t do that forever. We syringe feed if she doesn’t take enough of her bottle. They recommended we use the Dr. Brown’s 2oz bottles ( preemie) and those work for her. She takes 1-2oz every 1.5-2 hours. The feeding process takes like 30-45 minutes but she does eat. It’s more the matter of waking her up and keeping her awake during her feed.

I can try those syringes. We just use the regular syringes. I bought a bunch when I started collecting my colostrum ( just stuff that leaked) so we have a bunch left.

yes to both! the syringes and then the small dr brown's bottles. DS was born at 35w as well. No NICU. we were sent home and it was... wow.... really, really something and i dont mean wonderful. the triple feed, which it sounds like you are doing? if thats the case, wow, hats off to you!

i was so overwhelmed, recovering and so committed that DS be EBF that i drove myself crazy and everyone around me. if i could go back in time i would tell myself to use formula.

but if you want to stay BF'ing, get multiple sets of parts so you dont have to sanitize all the time. DH cooked all my meals, this was the biggest help. Eggs were quick and easy. Avocados. Oatmeal (so.much.oatmeal), peanut butter, water water and more water. i visited the angels at the Breastfeeding center weekly for help with feeding and weigh ins. So if you can get to see an LC, that would help too!

[Anonymous]

Hey OP - one of the best food options I’ve found w infants is the Whole Foods $12 plate -
A main and two sides. Pasta, veggies, London broil, salmon, potatoes. It’s more than one meal, and it’s better than take out. I’m not saying it’s super healthy, but definitely better than many days of Chinese.

Also, it goes by fast. If you like delivery and it’s working for you, don’t do something different just because you feel guilty. It’s such a short period, truly.

[Anonymous]

Give yourself GRACE! You are going to look back on this time and realize you are in the trenches and wish that you had been kinder to you. Breastfeeding burns so many calories - I would eat all day and get up at 3 am and make a full meal (like heat up a plate of lasagna and a salad) so don’t worry about overeating, and don’t worry about baby weight- there will be a time for that, but right now is for you to focus on caring for your sweet girl and surviving, however that looks. As family to help, don’t worry about house chores, eat takeout etc. but also def eat!! You need good calories to sustain you.
I promise you will look back and think you were being too hard on yourself.