What is with the lavish bachelor(ette) trips?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weddings are indeed out of control. I have an etiquette/hostessing book from the 50s geared towards rich housewives (for example, it is assumed that the reader has servants) and the wedding chapter features weddings that are shockingly cheap and simple by today's standards. You have everyone to your home after the church ceremony and serve chicken salad over lettuce leaves, fruit salad, Melba toast with curry spread, champagne, wedding cake and then coffee. Hire live musicians. The idea!

My parents' wedding was at 2 pm with a punch and cake reception at the country club afterwards.

But when I got married, my mother insisted, "You can't ask people to travel all this way and not give them dinner." My home town isn't huge, but it's bigger and more accessible than my mom's. Maybe things just ramp up over the decades. Maybe 30 years from now, our kids will be saying, "We only had one band, and they stopped playing at midnight."

[Anonymous]

These are the same people who will announce to the world they're going on a Babymoon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These are the same people who will announce to the world they're going on a Babymoon.

The term "babymoon" makes me irrationally angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are the same people who will announce to the world they're going on a Babymoon.

The term "babymoon" makes me irrationally angry.

K boomers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These are the same people who will announce to the world they're going on a Babymoon.

The term "babymoon" makes me irrationally angry.

K boomers

I'm a millennial. My boomer mom loves the idea of a babymoon but I think it's eyeroll-inducing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weddings are indeed out of control. I have an etiquette/hostessing book from the 50s geared towards rich housewives (for example, it is assumed that the reader has servants) and the wedding chapter features weddings that are shockingly cheap and simple by today's standards. You have everyone to your home after the church ceremony and serve chicken salad over lettuce leaves, fruit salad, Melba toast with curry spread, champagne, wedding cake and then coffee. Hire live musicians. The idea!

My parents' wedding was at 2 pm with a punch and cake reception at the country club afterwards.

But when I got married, my mother insisted, "You can't ask people to travel all this way and not give them dinner." My home town isn't huge, but it's bigger and more accessible than my mom's. Maybe things just ramp up over the decades. Maybe 30 years from now, our kids will be saying, "We only had one band, and they stopped playing at midnight."

While I agree that weddings have gotten completely ridiculous, she’s right. I’ll bet nearly no one was traveling out of town to attend your parents wedding. If you’re all local, a cake and punch reception is quite fine.

But today, modern wedding have tons of people traveling in from, often times, several different states. And the costs are a pain. Ten years ago, it cost me $3,500 to bring my family of 4 to my cousins wedding in a rural area. I was happy to do it, but there are definitely other things our young family could have done with that money at the time. You can’t have people shelling out big bucks for your special day and then not feed them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Weddings are indeed out of control. I have an etiquette/hostessing book from the 50s geared towards rich housewives (for example, it is assumed that the reader has servants) and the wedding chapter features weddings that are shockingly cheap and simple by today's standards. You have everyone to your home after the church ceremony and serve chicken salad over lettuce leaves, fruit salad, Melba toast with curry spread, champagne, wedding cake and then coffee. Hire live musicians. The idea!

My parents' wedding was at 2 pm with a punch and cake reception at the country club afterwards.

But when I got married, my mother insisted, "You can't ask people to travel all this way and not give them dinner." My home town isn't huge, but it's bigger and more accessible than my mom's. Maybe things just ramp up over the decades. Maybe 30 years from now, our kids will be saying, "We only had one band, and they stopped playing at midnight."

While I agree that weddings have gotten completely ridiculous, she’s right. I’ll bet nearly no one was traveling out of town to attend your parents wedding. If you’re all local, a cake and punch reception is quite fine.

But today, modern wedding have tons of people traveling in from, often times, several different states. And the costs are a pain. Ten years ago, it cost me $3,500 to bring my family of 4 to my cousins wedding in a rural area. I was happy to do it, but there are definitely other things our young family could have done with that money at the time. You can’t have people shelling out big bucks for your special day and then not feed them.

Well, you lose, as I tried to point out by saying that it's easier to get to my hometown than my mom's. People did both (sometimes the same people -- the cousin who attended my mom's wedding with her teddy bear brought her husand to mine), regardless of refreshments.

And honestly, my favorite part of some weddings has been mini-family reunions back at the hotel. Shoes off, room service rolling in.

[Anonymous]

I cannot explain it to you. I’m in my mid thirties, my friends and I all got married around 10-12 years ago and we had local bachelorette parties at a restaurant - we live in NYC.

My husband and his friends did go to Vegas though and that was more common amongst the men I know. But they did not have wedding showers. My SIL is in a really excessive crowd where they all had extravagant bachelorette parties, bridal showers and then weddings that easily cost 300k alone. Insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's as common as you think once you get off SM. That said, I'm 38 and did one of these for a friend's bachelorette when we were 32. There was no pressure to go and it was a fun getaway with our close group of friends.

Oh no, they are. A coworker has burned 6 PTO days so far this year for these trips, 3 of them. Then the showers and party busses. Then the actual wedding. So glad this nonsense didn't exist when I was getting married

[Anonymous]

Socially insecure? Vapid? Trying to chase some fake lifestyle they saw on social media?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Weddings are indeed out of control. I have an etiquette/hostessing book from the 50s geared towards rich housewives (for example, it is assumed that the reader has servants) and the wedding chapter features weddings that are shockingly cheap and simple by today's standards. You have everyone to your home after the church ceremony and serve chicken salad over lettuce leaves, fruit salad, Melba toast with curry spread, champagne, wedding cake and then coffee. Hire live musicians. The idea!

+1 the parents of the bride hosted a reception in a similar fashion to the manner in which they hosted other family events. If other parties and/or funeral receptions were at the country club, their daughter’s wedding was, if events were low cost backyard potlucks, then that’s what they did for a wedding, the couple didn’t get much say!