6th Grade Girl/ Latchkey?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes my 6th grader will come home after school. We'll shift work a little earlier so that we can be home a bit earlier, so it will be more like 2 hours, not 3.

I'll also be signing her up for afterschool activities as much as possible. And we'll make sure she gets some friend time after school too, going home with friends or having one come home with her.

I think it is completely fine to have them walk home alone and be home alone. In fact, I think it's damaging to them to NOT allow this level of independence and driven by parental anxiety.

However, do not allow completely unsupervised time with friends in your home and know where they are after school and who they are with. By middle school, a lot of shit can start to go down. Dumb antics with technology, experimenting with alcohol, experimenting with first steps of sexual exploration, inviting kids over who they don't know well at all. Your basic wheel of bad decision making. And yes, it could even be your kid and the friend you've known of hers forever. It's called puberty.

[Anonymous]

I hated being a latch key kid at that age. Three hours felt SO long. I didn’t want my kids to suffer. I pay for SACC through 6th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hated being a latch key kid at that age. Three hours felt SO long. I didn’t want my kids to suffer. I pay for SACC through 6th grade.

In most jurisdictions in the DMV, middle school starts in 6th grade so afterschool care provided by the school isn't a real option. You obviously live in Fairfax. Some have an afterschool program but literally a handful of kids attend and it's not anything robust or real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my 6th grader will come home after school. We'll shift work a little earlier so that we can be home a bit earlier, so it will be more like 2 hours, not 3.

I'll also be signing her up for afterschool activities as much as possible. And we'll make sure she gets some friend time after school too, going home with friends or having one come home with her.

I think it is completely fine to have them walk home alone and be home alone. In fact, I think it's damaging to them to NOT allow this level of independence and driven by parental anxiety.

However, do not allow completely unsupervised time with friends in your home and know where they are after school and who they are with. By middle school, a lot of shit can start to go down. Dumb antics with technology, experimenting with alcohol, experimenting with first steps of sexual exploration, inviting kids over who they don't know well at all. Your basic wheel of bad decision making. And yes, it could even be your kid and the friend you've known of hers forever. It's called puberty.

It's totally fine, yes kids can get up into things, but that's not all kids and even less likely to be in sixth grade. Set some rules, but if they have friends let them play/hang out. Kids get way to few chances to just be anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hated being a latch key kid at that age. Three hours felt SO long. I didn’t want my kids to suffer. I pay for SACC through 6th grade.

In most jurisdictions in the DMV, middle school starts in 6th grade so afterschool care provided by the school isn't a real option. You obviously live in Fairfax. Some have an afterschool program but literally a handful of kids attend and it's not anything robust or real.

This is true, but in DCPS at least there are a wide variety of things the kids can sign up for on any given day, without having to pay for aftercare

[Anonymous]

I think now and again it’s fine.
I think 3 hours a day every day is a lot personally.
My kid was capable of being alone at that age but wouldn’t want to be every single day.
Mine is 12 now and we still use a sitter once a week approx to drive her to an activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my 6th grader will come home after school. We'll shift work a little earlier so that we can be home a bit earlier, so it will be more like 2 hours, not 3.

I'll also be signing her up for afterschool activities as much as possible. And we'll make sure she gets some friend time after school too, going home with friends or having one come home with her.

I think it is completely fine to have them walk home alone and be home alone. In fact, I think it's damaging to them to NOT allow this level of independence and driven by parental anxiety.

However, do not allow completely unsupervised time with friends in your home and know where they are after school and who they are with. By middle school, a lot of shit can start to go down. Dumb antics with technology, experimenting with alcohol, experimenting with first steps of sexual exploration, inviting kids over who they don't know well at all. Your basic wheel of bad decision making. And yes, it could even be your kid and the friend you've known of hers forever. It's called puberty.

It's totally fine, yes kids can get up into things, but that's not all kids and even less likely to be in sixth grade. Set some rules, but if they have friends let them play/hang out. Kids get way to few chances to just be anymore.

Agree I wouldn't encourage it at your house or their house though where whatever they get up to you is your responsibility at the end of the day. Let them go to a park after school is my advice. Or give them small spending money and they can go get something to eat. This is what we did with our 6th grader and it was fine. By later middle school they lose interest in the wandering around after school and are busier usually with activities and homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hated being a latch key kid at that age. Three hours felt SO long. I didn’t want my kids to suffer. I pay for SACC through 6th grade.

In most jurisdictions in the DMV, middle school starts in 6th grade so afterschool care provided by the school isn't a real option. You obviously live in Fairfax. Some have an afterschool program but literally a handful of kids attend and it's not anything robust or real.

Our middle school has after care but it's only used by kids with significant intellectual disabilities.

[Anonymous]

I have a daughter the same age. My main concern would be the walk home/traffic safety.
But also… does she not have any after school activities like sports, dance, or music lessons? How will she get to those?

[Anonymous]

My son loved being able to come home on his own. I was able to change my work hours to earlier so he was only home by himself for about 1 to 1.5 hours. A few things we did to make it work
- had him practice unlocking the door.
- went over rules of what he could and could not do.
- went over what homes around us had adults that would likely be home in case of emergency.
- allowed a cell phone. We may have put it off, but it helped. The first few days he face timed me while walking home. I think it made him feel “protected”. After that he would call or text if he had any problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my 6th grader will come home after school. We'll shift work a little earlier so that we can be home a bit earlier, so it will be more like 2 hours, not 3.

I'll also be signing her up for afterschool activities as much as possible. And we'll make sure she gets some friend time after school too, going home with friends or having one come home with her.

I think it is completely fine to have them walk home alone and be home alone. In fact, I think it's damaging to them to NOT allow this level of independence and driven by parental anxiety.

However, do not allow completely unsupervised time with friends in your home and know where they are after school and who they are with. By middle school, a lot of shit can start to go down. Dumb antics with technology, experimenting with alcohol, experimenting with first steps of sexual exploration, inviting kids over who they don't know well at all. Your basic wheel of bad decision making. And yes, it could even be your kid and the friend you've known of hers forever. It's called puberty.

It's totally fine, yes kids can get up into things, but that's not all kids and even less likely to be in sixth grade. Set some rules, but if they have friends let them play/hang out. Kids get way to few chances to just be anymore.

Agree I wouldn't encourage it at your house or their house though where whatever they get up to you is your responsibility at the end of the day. Let them go to a park after school is my advice. Or give them small spending money and they can go get something to eat. This is what we did with our 6th grader and it was fine. By later middle school they lose interest in the wandering around after school and are busier usually with activities and homework.

+1 hopefully even in late middle school they don't have too much homework and don't totally lose interests in unorganized fun. Kids need more of that in their lives imo.

[Anonymous]

Latchkey kids usually grow up more rounded, better adjusted to tackling high school and especially college, as they learn some independence while they are still young.

Coddling kids and being over protective of them leads to neurotic, insecure, and constantly anxious adults.

[Anonymous]

I think it is good for independence, but for me 3 hours everyday is a little too much time alone at that age. I'd try to adjust schedules to see if it can be shorter or not daily.

[Anonymous]

A lot of posts about independence and how they did it. I’d worry more about her quality of life. Go home alone every day. Sit in the house every day alone for three hours. Parents come home. Eat dinner. Get ready for bed. In the meantime kids are going to fun activities or riding bikes or hanging out with family.

I wouldn’t do that to a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hated being a latch key kid at that age. Three hours felt SO long. I didn’t want my kids to suffer. I pay for SACC through 6th grade.

In most jurisdictions in the DMV, middle school starts in 6th grade so afterschool care provided by the school isn't a real option. You obviously live in Fairfax. Some have an afterschool program but literally a handful of kids attend and it's not anything robust or real.

Our middle school has after care but it's only used by kids with significant intellectual disabilities.

I doubt that.