The Obsession With Top Schools Is Sad

[Anonymous]

"Learn that your kid isn’t special and that’s okay. Your kid, your family, etc. isn’t destined for greatness because they worked hard during high school."

Somehow, I don't think this should be the takeaway from school rejection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Learn that your kid isn’t special and that’s okay. Your kid, your family, etc. isn’t destined for greatness because they worked hard during high school."

Somehow, I don't think this should be the takeaway from school rejection.

+1. How about learn these schools are not as special as you think they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Learn that your kid isn’t special and that’s okay. Your kid, your family, etc. isn’t destined for greatness because they worked hard during high school."

Somehow, I don't think this should be the takeaway from school rejection.

+1. How about learn these schools are not as special as you think they are.

As OP I apologize. This is what I meant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This forum, r/ApplyingToCollege, CollegeConfidential, etc. is getting borderline depressing now. I understand it from the kids’ perspective, but to see parents falling over themselves because their kid got rejected from a school with an 8% acceptance rate is sad. Supposedly well-adjusted people “crashing out” over rejections from notoriously selective schools.

Learn that your kid isn’t special and that’s okay. Your kid, your family, etc. isn’t destined for greatness because they worked hard during high school. So did a majority of their classmates. You or your kid doesn’t deserve an elite school. You’re just another upper middle class family who is status obsessed who has nothing substantial to offer the world. American dream, whatever it was, never existed or just wasn’t accessible to you. Learn to grow up and teach your kids about life and reality.

When you sit down and watch this clamoring for four years of a person’s life, you realize how utterly stupid this all is. But no one wants to hear this because they think their kid is some savant for getting above a 1500 SAT. Give me a break.

Sorry your kid didn't get in

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally agree but its just another example of an upper middle class arms race. Everyone is so afraid of keeping up with their neighbors and feeling inferior - its really sad. We learned this early with sports and its carried over to education in spades.

And others don't give a crap what neighbors are doing literally about anything and never have. But people think everyone else is trying to "keep up" whatever that even means.

Do what you and your family want or can. Stop looking over at the Jones. They aren't all that anyways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum, r/ApplyingToCollege, CollegeConfidential, etc. is getting borderline depressing now. I understand it from the kids’ perspective, but to see parents falling over themselves because their kid got rejected from a school with an 8% acceptance rate is sad. Supposedly well-adjusted people “crashing out” over rejections from notoriously selective schools.

Learn that your kid isn’t special and that’s okay. Your kid, your family, etc. isn’t destined for greatness because they worked hard during high school. So did a majority of their classmates. You or your kid doesn’t deserve an elite school. You’re just another upper middle class family who is status obsessed who has nothing substantial to offer the world. American dream, whatever it was, never existed or just wasn’t accessible to you. Learn to grow up and teach your kids about life and reality.

When you sit down and watch this clamoring for four years of a person’s life, you realize how utterly stupid this all is. But no one wants to hear this because they think their kid is some savant for getting above a 1500 SAT. Give me a break.

Sorry your kid didn't get in

I’m at a top school. That’s why it’s even more sad. These schools aren’t that amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum, r/ApplyingToCollege, CollegeConfidential, etc. is getting borderline depressing now. I understand it from the kids’ perspective, but to see parents falling over themselves because their kid got rejected from a school with an 8% acceptance rate is sad. Supposedly well-adjusted people “crashing out” over rejections from notoriously selective schools.

Learn that your kid isn’t special and that’s okay. Your kid, your family, etc. isn’t destined for greatness because they worked hard during high school. So did a majority of their classmates. You or your kid doesn’t deserve an elite school. You’re just another upper middle class family who is status obsessed who has nothing substantial to offer the world. American dream, whatever it was, never existed or just wasn’t accessible to you. Learn to grow up and teach your kids about life and reality.

When you sit down and watch this clamoring for four years of a person’s life, you realize how utterly stupid this all is. But no one wants to hear this because they think their kid is some savant for getting above a 1500 SAT. Give me a break.

Sorry your kid didn't get in

I’m at a top school. That’s why it’s even more sad. These schools aren’t that amazing.

Wake doesn't count

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum, r/ApplyingToCollege, CollegeConfidential, etc. is getting borderline depressing now. I understand it from the kids’ perspective, but to see parents falling over themselves because their kid got rejected from a school with an 8% acceptance rate is sad. Supposedly well-adjusted people “crashing out” over rejections from notoriously selective schools.

Learn that your kid isn’t special and that’s okay. Your kid, your family, etc. isn’t destined for greatness because they worked hard during high school. So did a majority of their classmates. You or your kid doesn’t deserve an elite school. You’re just another upper middle class family who is status obsessed who has nothing substantial to offer the world. American dream, whatever it was, never existed or just wasn’t accessible to you. Learn to grow up and teach your kids about life and reality.

When you sit down and watch this clamoring for four years of a person’s life, you realize how utterly stupid this all is. But no one wants to hear this because they think their kid is some savant for getting above a 1500 SAT. Give me a break.

Sorry your kid didn't get in

I’m at a top school. That’s why it’s even more sad. These schools aren’t that amazing.

Wake doesn't count

Don’t know why you’re riding hard for these institutions. You’re not a great person because your kid is at a T10. You’re exactly who I’m talking about and it’s sad as a grown adult you’re acting this way. Hope you get therapy instead of having your college rank tied to your self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This forum, r/ApplyingToCollege, CollegeConfidential, etc. is getting borderline depressing now. I understand it from the kids’ perspective, but to see parents falling over themselves because their kid got rejected from a school with an 8% acceptance rate is sad. Supposedly well-adjusted people “crashing out” over rejections from notoriously selective schools.

Learn that your kid isn’t special and that’s okay. Your kid, your family, etc. isn’t destined for greatness because they worked hard during high school. So did a majority of their classmates. You or your kid doesn’t deserve an elite school. You’re just another upper middle class family who is status obsessed who has nothing substantial to offer the world. American dream, whatever it was, never existed or just wasn’t accessible to you. Learn to grow up and teach your kids about life and reality.

When you sit down and watch this clamoring for four years of a person’s life, you realize how utterly stupid this all is. But no one wants to hear this because they think their kid is some savant for getting above a 1500 SAT. Give me a break.

Sorry your kid didn't get in

I’m at a top school. That’s why it’s even more sad. These schools aren’t that amazing.

Wake doesn't count

Don’t know why you’re riding hard for these institutions. You’re not a great person because your kid is at a T10. You’re exactly who I’m talking about and it’s sad as a grown adult you’re acting this way. Hope you get therapy instead of having your college rank tied to your self esteem.

I think you are projecting. Your lack of college rank is killing your own self esteem. Breathe, it’s going to be ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Learn that your kid isn’t special and that’s okay. Your kid, your family, etc. isn’t destined for greatness because they worked hard during high school."

Somehow, I don't think this should be the takeaway from school rejection.

+1. How about learn these schools are not as special as you think they are.

100% agree. Blaming the students for not getting in DOESN'T HELP THIS MINDSET.

[Anonymous]

If college educations weren't so freakishly expensive it wouldn't be such a big deal imo. $100k for USC, why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If college educations weren't so freakishly expensive it wouldn't be such a big deal imo. $100k for USC, why?

Because people pay it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If college educations weren't so freakishly expensive it wouldn't be such a big deal imo. $100k for USC, why?

There are tons of great schools that a high stats kid can gain admission to and only pay $40K. Start with your instate schools and then find privates in the 30-100 range that offer merit, as well as some OOS schools. You don't have to spend $100K. Just like you likely don't own a $100K car---you can drive a Honda that costs only $35K and get around the same as if you spend $100K on a BMW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is just this site and the massive combo of wealth and anxiety.

It's most places that are UMC+ and not much LMC/LC.

Maybe UMC+ but that is a small fraction of society. I'm in a MC/UMC area (lots of doctors, attorneys but not big law, business owners, accountants, fire department senior people, some professors...) and I do not see this obsession at all.

So you have the real world in your area. If you chose to live in and attend public schools in a mostly UMC+ area, you start to see this obsession. And it definately is worse in the mid atlantic/Northeast versus say the west coast. But it's there as well. And the higher the income levels go, the more you see it.

Grew up in the Midwest and now live In The South. There are pockets of it everywhere, especially in affluent pockets.

I grew up in the Midwest and my family is still there. It is NOT like the East coast at all. Most people go to a local or state college, nbd. There isn’t crazy college prep, tutors, coaches, consultants etc. My Midwest nephew went into his ACT cold. No prep. My other nephew was not a great student so my relatives enrolled him in a brief SAT class. Sure, there might be pockets that are slightly different but this is the norm for MC and even UMC families.

When I first got to the East coast for school years ago, I was stunned to hear the help other students had. And from what I can see, it’s only gotten worse.

I agree with the above poster, encourage your kids to be founders and entrepreneurs. I’m highly educated and went to grad school. I work for a co run by a guy who I’m fairly certain dropped out of college or went to a total no name bc none of his shiny corporate bios mention school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If college educations weren't so freakishly expensive it wouldn't be such a big deal imo. $100k for USC, why?

There are tons of great schools that a high stats kid can gain admission to and only pay $40K. Start with your instate schools and then find privates in the 30-100 range that offer merit, as well as some OOS schools. You don't have to spend $100K. Just like you likely don't own a $100K car---you can drive a Honda that costs only $35K and get around the same as if you spend $100K on a BMW.

Yep! But don't show up at the club in your Honda. Biff and Buffy will ask you if everything is ok at home. Nevermind that Warren Buffet drives an old Honda...