How did you get past PPD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my culture, sadness/mood swings/being overwhelmed/crying etc are considered a natural negative outcome after birth because your body and mind are not healed. If you ignore it, it will progress to full blown PPD. You have to manage it after birth by giving good care to mom and child for at least 40 days.

For the 1st 3 months after birth (in DMV area) -
- My mom was with me 24/7. She came from my country of origin to help me with my postpartum care.
- My DH took time off and did his part - more than 50%.
- My diet and daily massages was very well regulated. We hired a masseuse for this.
- My mom took care of the baby in the day time so that I could sleep. Baby wanted to be held and sleep. My mom was willing to hold the baby in her lap and rock her. She only got the baby to me so that I could nurse the baby. My DH got the baby at night.
- I had a lactation consultant that I consulted with 2 times who was on my side and she made sure that nursing was easy for me and the baby. She helped me in picking the proper clothes, pump, chair, nursing cushion, nipple balm and pads etc. Thanks to her I was nursing on demand and continued to nurse each of my kids until they were 3 years old.
- I was made to drink a yummy concoction of milk, nuts, spices, fat, dates - every time I nursed the baby which is part of my cultural tradition. This kept my energy and essential nutrients up.
- We had a cleaning lady (twice a week) - who also did laundry. And a part time cook (twice a week) who also did our groceries. This was a time before instacart. We paid through our nose but we had been saving for the post-partum care since we had got married, and my parents and siblings also chipped in.
- Our household went into seclusion for the first 40 days, except for very close friends and family.
- I took Benadryl every night to sleep on my Drs. order.
- I pumped so that my DH could give one feed between midnight and 5 am to my baby.
- Between my mom and my DH - I did not even burp my kid, changed a single nappy, gave the baby a massage or a bath or rocked the baby to sleep. The entire care of the baby was on my mom and DH.
- I was not left alone at home. My mom was always there with me, and sometimes my sister also came and spent time with me.
- I was not allowed to do any work at home. I just nursed, ate post-pregnancy food, and slept.
- My daily massages and nutritious meals helped in healing my body and mind.
- Baby and I were kept in a warm room, we were made to sunbathe (sunny window) after being massaged with medicated oils indoors, we were kept extremely well hyderated and not allowed to eat or drink anything cold for the first 30 days. Even the bathroom was well heated, and I had to bathe and dry my hair completely and be dressed in warm clothes because a woman's body and mind needs time to get back in balance. My mom was horrified that post partum women were given cold chips to eat and big jumbo cups of cold water.
- No junk food for me. No caffine.

Absolutely ludicrous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Title says it all.

I have been having a hard time. We have an objectively good situation - supportive partner, healthy baby, comfortable life.

Baby is a few months old now, and I am still struggling with being irritable, crying or outbursts several times a week, having trouble keeping a rational and calm outlook on things, etc.

How did you recover from PPD? How did you manage until then?

Just about every church has free counseling and you do not need to belong to that church or even beca member of that religion.

Yeah but that takes research to be sure the church won’t just want you to “pray it away” or “submit harder to your husband” - and this isn’t a good time to be giving OP homework.

Sleep helps, OP. Whether that means weaning or not is your call, but you need five consecutive hours of sleep a night and you have to do whatever it takes to make that happen. Credit card debt to pay for a nanny, DH takes a week off work to handle nights, call a relative/friend, whatever it takes.

Well, if you're too lazy to make a phone call then you really don't need help so you just keep on whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my culture, sadness/mood swings/being overwhelmed/crying etc are considered a natural negative outcome after birth because your body and mind are not healed. If you ignore it, it will progress to full blown PPD. You have to manage it after birth by giving good care to mom and child for at least 40 days.

For the 1st 3 months after birth (in DMV area) -
- My mom was with me 24/7. She came from my country of origin to help me with my postpartum care.
- My DH took time off and did his part - more than 50%.
- My diet and daily massages was very well regulated. We hired a masseuse for this.
- My mom took care of the baby in the day time so that I could sleep. Baby wanted to be held and sleep. My mom was willing to hold the baby in her lap and rock her. She only got the baby to me so that I could nurse the baby. My DH got the baby at night.
- I had a lactation consultant that I consulted with 2 times who was on my side and she made sure that nursing was easy for me and the baby. She helped me in picking the proper clothes, pump, chair, nursing cushion, nipple balm and pads etc. Thanks to her I was nursing on demand and continued to nurse each of my kids until they were 3 years old.
- I was made to drink a yummy concoction of milk, nuts, spices, fat, dates - every time I nursed the baby which is part of my cultural tradition. This kept my energy and essential nutrients up.
- We had a cleaning lady (twice a week) - who also did laundry. And a part time cook (twice a week) who also did our groceries. This was a time before instacart. We paid through our nose but we had been saving for the post-partum care since we had got married, and my parents and siblings also chipped in.
- Our household went into seclusion for the first 40 days, except for very close friends and family.
- I took Benadryl every night to sleep on my Drs. order.
- I pumped so that my DH could give one feed between midnight and 5 am to my baby.
- Between my mom and my DH - I did not even burp my kid, changed a single nappy, gave the baby a massage or a bath or rocked the baby to sleep. The entire care of the baby was on my mom and DH.
- I was not left alone at home. My mom was always there with me, and sometimes my sister also came and spent time with me.
- I was not allowed to do any work at home. I just nursed, ate post-pregnancy food, and slept.
- My daily massages and nutritious meals helped in healing my body and mind.
- Baby and I were kept in a warm room, we were made to sunbathe (sunny window) after being massaged with medicated oils indoors, we were kept extremely well hyderated and not allowed to eat or drink anything cold for the first 30 days. Even the bathroom was well heated, and I had to bathe and dry my hair completely and be dressed in warm clothes because a woman's body and mind needs time to get back in balance. My mom was horrified that post partum women were given cold chips to eat and big jumbo cups of cold water.
- No junk food for me. No caffine.

How ridiculous. Post partum women are not goddesses.

[Anonymous]

The only thing that really helped for me was counseling I'm in NoVa and went to Sunstone as it was close to home (but also did telehealth when I was sick or baby etc). Talking to a compassionate therapist who also had kids made me feel less alone and more confident.

[Anonymous]

Going back to work and putting the baby in daycare was a game changer. Really good for us both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my culture, sadness/mood swings/being overwhelmed/crying etc are considered a natural negative outcome after birth because your body and mind are not healed. If you ignore it, it will progress to full blown PPD. You have to manage it after birth by giving good care to mom and child for at least 40 days.

For the 1st 3 months after birth (in DMV area) -
- My mom was with me 24/7. She came from my country of origin to help me with my postpartum care.
- My DH took time off and did his part - more than 50%.
- My diet and daily massages was very well regulated. We hired a masseuse for this.
- My mom took care of the baby in the day time so that I could sleep. Baby wanted to be held and sleep. My mom was willing to hold the baby in her lap and rock her. She only got the baby to me so that I could nurse the baby. My DH got the baby at night.
- I had a lactation consultant that I consulted with 2 times who was on my side and she made sure that nursing was easy for me and the baby. She helped me in picking the proper clothes, pump, chair, nursing cushion, nipple balm and pads etc. Thanks to her I was nursing on demand and continued to nurse each of my kids until they were 3 years old.
- I was made to drink a yummy concoction of milk, nuts, spices, fat, dates - every time I nursed the baby which is part of my cultural tradition. This kept my energy and essential nutrients up.
- We had a cleaning lady (twice a week) - who also did laundry. And a part time cook (twice a week) who also did our groceries. This was a time before instacart. We paid through our nose but we had been saving for the post-partum care since we had got married, and my parents and siblings also chipped in.
- Our household went into seclusion for the first 40 days, except for very close friends and family.
- I took Benadryl every night to sleep on my Drs. order.
- I pumped so that my DH could give one feed between midnight and 5 am to my baby.
- Between my mom and my DH - I did not even burp my kid, changed a single nappy, gave the baby a massage or a bath or rocked the baby to sleep. The entire care of the baby was on my mom and DH.
- I was not left alone at home. My mom was always there with me, and sometimes my sister also came and spent time with me.
- I was not allowed to do any work at home. I just nursed, ate post-pregnancy food, and slept.
- My daily massages and nutritious meals helped in healing my body and mind.
- Baby and I were kept in a warm room, we were made to sunbathe (sunny window) after being massaged with medicated oils indoors, we were kept extremely well hyderated and not allowed to eat or drink anything cold for the first 30 days. Even the bathroom was well heated, and I had to bathe and dry my hair completely and be dressed in warm clothes because a woman's body and mind needs time to get back in balance. My mom was horrified that post partum women were given cold chips to eat and big jumbo cups of cold water.
- No junk food for me. No caffine.

I assume you are Asian (Taiwanese?). This sounds heavenly. I want to offer to do this with my three daughters when they have children many, many years from now. It sounds awesome!

[Anonymous]

Joining a mom's group (PACE) really helped. Getting to just express it in the open and not feeling alone. Getting out of the house. It was a lifeline.

[Anonymous]

Socializing…getting more sleep and more outdoor time. I was prescribed Zoloft but did not fill. I see a virtual therapist through postpartum well.com

They can check insurance coverage for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my culture, sadness/mood swings/being overwhelmed/crying etc are considered a natural negative outcome after birth because your body and mind are not healed. If you ignore it, it will progress to full blown PPD. You have to manage it after birth by giving good care to mom and child for at least 40 days.

For the 1st 3 months after birth (in DMV area) -
- My mom was with me 24/7. She came from my country of origin to help me with my postpartum care.
- My DH took time off and did his part - more than 50%.
- My diet and daily massages was very well regulated. We hired a masseuse for this.
- My mom took care of the baby in the day time so that I could sleep. Baby wanted to be held and sleep. My mom was willing to hold the baby in her lap and rock her. She only got the baby to me so that I could nurse the baby. My DH got the baby at night.
- I had a lactation consultant that I consulted with 2 times who was on my side and she made sure that nursing was easy for me and the baby. She helped me in picking the proper clothes, pump, chair, nursing cushion, nipple balm and pads etc. Thanks to her I was nursing on demand and continued to nurse each of my kids until they were 3 years old.
- I was made to drink a yummy concoction of milk, nuts, spices, fat, dates - every time I nursed the baby which is part of my cultural tradition. This kept my energy and essential nutrients up.
- We had a cleaning lady (twice a week) - who also did laundry. And a part time cook (twice a week) who also did our groceries. This was a time before instacart. We paid through our nose but we had been saving for the post-partum care since we had got married, and my parents and siblings also chipped in.
- Our household went into seclusion for the first 40 days, except for very close friends and family.
- I took Benadryl every night to sleep on my Drs. order.
- I pumped so that my DH could give one feed between midnight and 5 am to my baby.
- Between my mom and my DH - I did not even burp my kid, changed a single nappy, gave the baby a massage or a bath or rocked the baby to sleep. The entire care of the baby was on my mom and DH.
- I was not left alone at home. My mom was always there with me, and sometimes my sister also came and spent time with me.
- I was not allowed to do any work at home. I just nursed, ate post-pregnancy food, and slept.
- My daily massages and nutritious meals helped in healing my body and mind.
- Baby and I were kept in a warm room, we were made to sunbathe (sunny window) after being massaged with medicated oils indoors, we were kept extremely well hyderated and not allowed to eat or drink anything cold for the first 30 days. Even the bathroom was well heated, and I had to bathe and dry my hair completely and be dressed in warm clothes because a woman's body and mind needs time to get back in balance. My mom was horrified that post partum women were given cold chips to eat and big jumbo cups of cold water.
- No junk food for me. No caffine.

I assume you are Asian (Taiwanese?). This sounds heavenly. I want to offer to do this with my three daughters when they have children many, many years from now. It sounds awesome!

It’s over the top. The average person can’t get a massage every day! I did some of those things as my husband is south Asians but wow…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my culture, sadness/mood swings/being overwhelmed/crying etc are considered a natural negative outcome after birth because your body and mind are not healed. If you ignore it, it will progress to full blown PPD. You have to manage it after birth by giving good care to mom and child for at least 40 days.

For the 1st 3 months after birth (in DMV area) -
- My mom was with me 24/7. She came from my country of origin to help me with my postpartum care.
- My DH took time off and did his part - more than 50%.
- My diet and daily massages was very well regulated. We hired a masseuse for this.
- My mom took care of the baby in the day time so that I could sleep. Baby wanted to be held and sleep. My mom was willing to hold the baby in her lap and rock her. She only got the baby to me so that I could nurse the baby. My DH got the baby at night.
- I had a lactation consultant that I consulted with 2 times who was on my side and she made sure that nursing was easy for me and the baby. She helped me in picking the proper clothes, pump, chair, nursing cushion, nipple balm and pads etc. Thanks to her I was nursing on demand and continued to nurse each of my kids until they were 3 years old.
- I was made to drink a yummy concoction of milk, nuts, spices, fat, dates - every time I nursed the baby which is part of my cultural tradition. This kept my energy and essential nutrients up.
- We had a cleaning lady (twice a week) - who also did laundry. And a part time cook (twice a week) who also did our groceries. This was a time before instacart. We paid through our nose but we had been saving for the post-partum care since we had got married, and my parents and siblings also chipped in.
- Our household went into seclusion for the first 40 days, except for very close friends and family.
- I took Benadryl every night to sleep on my Drs. order.
- I pumped so that my DH could give one feed between midnight and 5 am to my baby.
- Between my mom and my DH - I did not even burp my kid, changed a single nappy, gave the baby a massage or a bath or rocked the baby to sleep. The entire care of the baby was on my mom and DH.
- I was not left alone at home. My mom was always there with me, and sometimes my sister also came and spent time with me.
- I was not allowed to do any work at home. I just nursed, ate post-pregnancy food, and slept.
- My daily massages and nutritious meals helped in healing my body and mind.
- Baby and I were kept in a warm room, we were made to sunbathe (sunny window) after being massaged with medicated oils indoors, we were kept extremely well hyderated and not allowed to eat or drink anything cold for the first 30 days. Even the bathroom was well heated, and I had to bathe and dry my hair completely and be dressed in warm clothes because a woman's body and mind needs time to get back in balance. My mom was horrified that post partum women were given cold chips to eat and big jumbo cups of cold water.
- No junk food for me. No caffine.

This would have made my PPD worse. I don’t think I had PPD, but instead simply dislike having a baby. I enjoy my adult life and it seemed like overnight I was overweight, leaking milk, couldn’t go to work and lost my social life. Everything was about the baby. From what PP wrote, it seems like a prison where the new mom no longer exists as an individual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I white knuckled it, too. Back then, you couldn’t do tele-health appointments so going to see a therapist with an infant felt like a very tall order. These days you could do a phone or telehealth appointment, which I think would be valuable as a starting point. They will likely have some ideas.

Stopping breastfeeding and getting 5hrs per night of uninterrupted sleep were what ultimately pulled me out of it. For me, both didn’t happen until my child was 2. Which is to say: if you don’t take action, it may stick around for a while.

Stopping breastfeeding is a fraught thing, but many women will attest to the hormonal impact on mood. Once I got down to 1x per day (before bed) I felt better. But my mood improved even more—back to my old self—once I stopped entirely.

Lack of sleep also compounds PPD. It really, really does. If you can get 5 uninterrupted hours, that will really help. But the more the better.

I chose not to breastfeed my second and now it’s easier for me to see how harmful breastfeeding is to many women. First, it makes the mom the primary caregiver from day one and the baby prefers mom. Secondly, it’s a time suck and the mom can’t stray far from the baby. I feel bad for women suffering through PP because of breastfeeding. Formula is freedom and I’m so glad I formula fed my subsequent children. I enjoyed holding my babies and was more than just a food source.

[Anonymous]

Another white-knuckler here, and I don’t recommend it. It took me about eight months to feel like myself again. Breastfeeding definitely fueled the bad feelings, but quitting in the early weeks caused a lot of angst too.

[Anonymous]

PP depression will not go away on its own. It requires meds/treatment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I white knuckled it, too. Back then, you couldn’t do tele-health appointments so going to see a therapist with an infant felt like a very tall order. These days you could do a phone or telehealth appointment, which I think would be valuable as a starting point. They will likely have some ideas.

Stopping breastfeeding and getting 5hrs per night of uninterrupted sleep were what ultimately pulled me out of it. For me, both didn’t happen until my child was 2. Which is to say: if you don’t take action, it may stick around for a while.

Stopping breastfeeding is a fraught thing, but many women will attest to the hormonal impact on mood. Once I got down to 1x per day (before bed) I felt better. But my mood improved even more—back to my old self—once I stopped entirely.

Lack of sleep also compounds PPD. It really, really does. If you can get 5 uninterrupted hours, that will really help. But the more the better.

I chose not to breastfeed my second and now it’s easier for me to see how harmful breastfeeding is to many women. First, it makes the mom the primary caregiver from day one and the baby prefers mom. Secondly, it’s a time suck and the mom can’t stray far from the baby. I feel bad for women suffering through PP because of breastfeeding. Formula is freedom and I’m so glad I formula fed my subsequent children. I enjoyed holding my babies and was more than just a food source.

Yes, this. I nursed my kids both for 5 years combined and am still resentful about how much it tethered me to them
and to our home. DH would roll over when they cried after the first month or two at night, but not me. I honestly - in hindsight - feel that nursing can be very oppressive for women. At the time I thought it was so
Important and I had to Do it. But now that I can look back? I can see it compromised my mental Health, hormonal state, and ability to Function well at work because I was Pumping constantly, it limited my ability to travel and go out publicly and see friends (my kids didn’t nurse easily in public and wouldn’t tolerate covers and would get distracted and not empty me and then I’d get clogged ducts and mastitis). I also got mastitis multiple times and got seriously ill. And I needed psychiatric meds but waited to go on them
For years because I was nursing. Meanwhile DH got to resume his work travel within a couple months, could
Go out at night, didn’t have to structure his days around feeding and pumping, etc. I wish I had formula fed because the resentment feelings have never gone away. (By the time I wanted to switch to Formula the kids refused it.) I wish someone had clued me into this earlier.