S/o: worst meal to bring a friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had a new baby someone brought us raw salmon and some sort of side ingredients (this was a while ago and I wasn't really sleeping, so my memory on the details is fuzzy but maybe a bagged salad?) and said "Enjoy cooking!" Thankfully DH is a great cook and he prepared the meal, but he was irked.

One time my MIL’s friend and friend’s dd and 3 year old granddaughter came to see our infant twins. Not only did they not bring us anything, but the 3 year old was hungry, so they asked for a snack. They let’s her wander around our house while she ate a granola bar, dropping crumbs everywhere. I was dumbfounded.

You’re mad that a 3 year old got hungry at your house?

DP

I would be upset someone brought a 3 year old to my house and left a mess without cleaning it up during a time we were caring for a new baby.

I can't believe I needed to explain that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Obviously a meal that sickens people is the worst, but as far as meals that are lovingly prepared according to food safety standards and food tolerances, it sucks to receive something that looks and smells very enticing, but is terrible: a soup that’s way too salty, meat that’s all gristle, something that would be perfect if it didn’t contain that one overpowering ingredient that you just can’t stand, like blue cheese or cilantro.

The absolute worst is receiving a meal that you know someone really sacrificed to make (maybe it’s an extremely time consuming dish to prepare or they bought very expensive ingredients with your pleasure in mind, even though they have a tight budget), but you really dislike it, so it’s hard to choke it down, but you’d feel super guilty just throwing it out.

This. My parents had a neighbour (my dad has passed, mom still lives next door to them). Every year for Easter they make this soup that is absolutely loaded with giant pieces of seafood - it’s got to cost a fortune. The first time they sent it over was when my dad was undergoing chemo, so his palate was messed up anyway, so when he declared the soup was dreadful and threw it out we all assumed it was just his chemo taste buds.

When the neighbour sent it over the next Easter, after Dad had passed, my mom was looking forward to trying it (again, soup LOOKS amazing, big hunks of crab and lobster, etc.) After she tried it, she called me and said “nope, wasn’t your dad. The soup is not good.”

Now every year we try to strategize what to do with the soup. It’s a generous and lovely gesture and they’re good neighbours but no one wants to eat this soup.

[Anonymous]

I have always been grateful to people who bring meals, but I think one area that’s a little risky is the “I’ll bring all the ingredients and we can visit while I cook at your house” approach. I had a couple of people do that when I had a new baby, and I know their hearts were in the right place, but it was actually a little stressful for me because I was so tired and, of course, kind of had to help a little with the cooking (if only to show them where we keep certain pots and pans). If you do this, make sure the recipient is truly comfortable with it and really wants the company rather than just a meal!

[Anonymous]

We never solicited meals but were fortunate enough to have kind friends and neighbors who brought us food when the babies were born. It was mostly casseroles and lasagna-type stuff. Of course I was gracious about receiving it, but I really dislike baked pasta don't think I ate any of it.

[Anonymous]

There are three ways to do this:

KNOW what they want and do that: ask what you can make, make that. Or if you are close make something you 100% know they eat.

Give gift cards to order food: self-explanatory. If they are not used to ordering food, ask and order for them. Sometimes elderly people get frustrated with Door Dash gift cards.

Healthy, easy, benign pre-bought assortment: I have done 2-3 quarts of pre-prepared soup from Whole Foods or Panera (a veggie, a meat, an "interesting") + fresh bread + a veggie and/or fruit (pre-made tray or assortment, bagged salad + dressing + a carton of grape tomatoes) and if you're really extra you can throw in a dessert or breakfast muffins for tomorrow and a package of berries.

[Anonymous]

Too many red sauce based noodle casseroles. This is a good problem to have I think based on other responses here. I am mostly very touched so many friends have even signed up to bring us something. We might not be able to eat every bite of all the red sauced noodles, but we will certainly enjoy it for a meal or 2 each week.

[Anonymous]

My mother made a double recipe of hamburger quiche to welcome us home from the hospital after giving birth to my first child. I’ve been a vegetarian for 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother made a double recipe of hamburger quiche to welcome us home from the hospital after giving birth to my first child. I’ve been a vegetarian for 20 years.

Ouch. Your own mom?!

[Anonymous]

I also had a meal train attempted to be organized by DC’s preschool - I really didn’t want any meals delivered because I’m extremely picky and my toddler DS had just been diagnosed with anaphylactic nut allergies.

However, one mom was insistent and pretty much showed up anyway at my door with a dish. She was super upbeat, said she couldn’t/wouldn’t come in, it was dinnertime at her house, too and by the way, she was exhausted because had been up all night with her preschooler who she discovered *had pinworms* (and he missed preschool).

I thanked her, watched her drive away and unceremoniously tossed her entire dish in my kitchen trash. This was over 20 years ago and I think about this all too often. No more meal trains for me.

[Anonymous]

Baked ziti - they will always be given trays and trays of it,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Obviously a meal that sickens people is the worst, but as far as meals that are lovingly prepared according to food safety standards and food tolerances, it sucks to receive something that looks and smells very enticing, but is terrible: a soup that’s way too salty, meat that’s all gristle, something that would be perfect if it didn’t contain that one overpowering ingredient that you just can’t stand, like blue cheese or cilantro.

The absolute worst is receiving a meal that you know someone really sacrificed to make (maybe it’s an extremely time consuming dish to prepare or they bought very expensive ingredients with your pleasure in mind, even though they have a tight budget), but you really dislike it, so it’s hard to choke it down, but you’d feel super guilty just throwing it out.

This. My parents had a neighbour (my dad has passed, mom still lives next door to them). Every year for Easter they make this soup that is absolutely loaded with giant pieces of seafood - it’s got to cost a fortune. The first time they sent it over was when my dad was undergoing chemo, so his palate was messed up anyway, so when he declared the soup was dreadful and threw it out we all assumed it was just his chemo taste buds.

When the neighbour sent it over the next Easter, after Dad had passed, my mom was looking forward to trying it (again, soup LOOKS amazing, big hunks of crab and lobster, etc.) After she tried it, she called me and said “nope, wasn’t your dad. The soup is not good.”

Now every year we try to strategize what to do with the soup. It’s a generous and lovely gesture and they’re good neighbours but no one wants to eat this soup.

Maybe your mother can casually mention to them her new shellfish allergy that arose late in life . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had a new baby someone brought us raw salmon and some sort of side ingredients (this was a while ago and I wasn't really sleeping, so my memory on the details is fuzzy but maybe a bagged salad?) and said "Enjoy cooking!" Thankfully DH is a great cook and he prepared the meal, but he was irked.

One time my MIL’s friend and friend’s dd and 3 year old granddaughter came to see our infant twins. Not only did they not bring us anything, but the 3 year old was hungry, so they asked for a snack. They let’s her wander around our house while she ate a granola bar, dropping crumbs everywhere. I was dumbfounded.

You’re mad that a 3 year old got hungry at your house?

Of course not. I’m annoyed that they chose to visit with a hungry 3 year old, brought nothing, asked us for food, and made a mess. We had newborn preterm twins. If you aren’t going to be helpful, the least you can do is make your visit help-neutral.

They didn’t ask you to cook for her. She had a granola bar. Geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we had a new baby someone brought us raw salmon and some sort of side ingredients (this was a while ago and I wasn't really sleeping, so my memory on the details is fuzzy but maybe a bagged salad?) and said "Enjoy cooking!" Thankfully DH is a great cook and he prepared the meal, but he was irked.

One time my MIL’s friend and friend’s dd and 3 year old granddaughter came to see our infant twins. Not only did they not bring us anything, but the 3 year old was hungry, so they asked for a snack. They let’s her wander around our house while she ate a granola bar, dropping crumbs everywhere. I was dumbfounded.

You’re mad that a 3 year old got hungry at your house?

Of course not. I’m annoyed that they chose to visit with a hungry 3 year old, brought nothing, asked us for food, and made a mess. We had newborn preterm twins. If you aren’t going to be helpful, the least you can do is make your visit help-neutral.

They didn’t ask you to cook for her. She had a granola bar. Geez.

And walked around the house eating it! It was probably one of those Nature Valley ones that are a mess no matter what you do (NP)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was part of a mom’s preschool group that made a meal train for me when I had my second child. So, granted, the person who signed up to bring this wasn’t my BFF of anything. So I give her a pass..

But I was sent “pizza pasta.” It was cooked noodled, some pepperoni, a jar of sauce, and bag of mozzarella dumped on top, all in an aluminium casserole dish. Plus box of generic frozen Texas toast garlic bread. Whole things was tossed. Yuck. If you are going to sign up for a meal train, don’t send bare minimum packaged stuff.

And this is why meal trains aren't realistic. Overwhelmed volunteers and recipients with champagne tastes.

Yep. What a snot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was part of a mom’s preschool group that made a meal train for me when I had my second child. So, granted, the person who signed up to bring this wasn’t my BFF of anything. So I give her a pass..

But I was sent “pizza pasta.” It was cooked noodled, some pepperoni, a jar of sauce, and bag of mozzarella dumped on top, all in an aluminium casserole dish. Plus box of generic frozen Texas toast garlic bread. Whole things was tossed. Yuck. If you are going to sign up for a meal train, don’t send bare minimum packaged stuff.

I hate meal trains for this reason. The giver probably felt pressured to participate, and then the recipient didn't even like/want the meal. I know I feel pressured to participate, and I also know I'm a terrible cook. The meal gift cards are expensive. It's a no-win situation.