Tips for handling 3 kids (including newborn) in the morning before school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 6 brushes his teeth at night, put his toothbrush downstairs in/near the kitchen so immediately after eating he can brush. Can he sleep in his clothes he'll wear the next day?

All of this. And breakfast could be a protein bar eaten walking or a cheese stick, fruit can be messy, I’d save for a different meal.

I’d have both older kids sleep in clothes for next day. See if nanny can come at 7:30 and take over bus run.

A chart with pics of streamlined morning activities and a reward if completed early helped my child with ADD get out the door. Say a game on iPad if done by 7:20, high value and immediate reward.

Why do people keep suggesting kids were clothes to bed? That won’t work for a lot of kids who sweat at night.

Nannies are expensive- adding 1/2 hr to their day would require paying time and a half or double time. A lot of people can’t afford to add that on. And a lot of nannies don’t want to come earlier.

And that it’s okay if they don’t brush before school. WTF. These must be public school kids.

You’re pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's too late for the OP but people shouldn't have more kids than they can take care of by themselves.

I agree. I’ve been taking care of 3 kids solo for years, as my spouse travels Monday through Thursday. No hired help either. It’s ridiculous this is so hard until only 8 am. Come on!

I have 3 kids and it really wasn’t that bad. The morning was no big deal because my kids could get dressed and eat breakfast on their own since preschool. Baby would
Be sleeping, in a baby carrier, swing or bouncer.

I know moms who wake up super early to get ready for the day, work out, pack lunch, etc they sacrifice sleep. I never did this.

I don’t understand people, including op, who seem to want to disrupt the baby. It seems obvious OP has a first child problem. Usually the oldest is more independent and should be able to get ready and be off to school with minimum effort.

How is the oldest getting to bus stop?
Do you take all 3?

I used to push the stroller to the bus stop.

[Anonymous]

FWIW I have two kids, one has ADHD, and the non ADHD six year old still requires a ton of supervision and prompting in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, it isn’t actually the end of the world if your oldest goes to school in his pajamas or forgets to brush his teeth once a week. So part of what I would do is just relax a little. Just do the best you can each day and then let it go.

Six year old shouldn't go to school in PJs. Wtf?

[Anonymous]

Op I would try to develop a sense of humor about it. Mornings are hard for everyone and it's not going to get easy any time soon (it will get easier but not straight up easy).

[Anonymous]

Girl I just went through this last year, I feel you. My husband was out the door around 7, I had a newborn, 4 yr old and 6 yr old. It took us a couple of weeks to figure it out. My 4 yr old was reaaaally difficult - combination of anxiety/adhd where she got angry if she felt rush but took forever to do anything, but she insisted on being the one to choose her clothes otherwise it was war. My 6 yr old wasn’t so controlling but probably also has some elements of adhd. I feel you on having to stay on them to stay on task. My nanny arrived at 9, and bus came at 8:10, plus 4 yr old was in preschool.

In my case I could have had the nanny come earlier - and I was on maternity leave so she only came a few hours to help around house / watch baby. But I felt silly and wanted to give it a shot. It turns out my third baby was the chillest baby ever (is yours?) and my 6 yr old was super helpful (interacting with the baby, bouncing the bouncer). We missed the bus for like 2 weeks and I had to load everyone in the car for two separate drop offs lol…but then we finally got a routine down. I learned to time feeding the baby a bottle of pumped milk (nursing took too long) to when the kids were eating breakfast - so I’d follow them around to ensure they got dressed and brushed teeth while holding the baby, and helped them get breakfast before feeding. Feeding was the last thing we did before we walked to bus stop; and then after bus stop we hopped in car to daycare. Once I went back to work I left the baby at home w nanny before I dropped off big kids. I felt like I lived a whole day before I even sat down to my computer.

I had a winter baby and we’re in Chicago, so I had one of those car seat blankets that tucks inside and a car seat cover. Thank god for the stroller that clicks on and off with the car seat! I have fond memories of hauling her into daycare and having 10 little faces peeking at the baby - she was always asleep.

Now my third just turned 1 and I still mostly do morning routine by myself, but now my 5 and 7 yr old ride the bus together - game changer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 6 brushes his teeth at night, put his toothbrush downstairs in/near the kitchen so immediately after eating he can brush. Can he sleep in his clothes he'll wear the next day?

All of this. And breakfast could be a protein bar eaten walking or a cheese stick, fruit can be messy, I’d save for a different meal.

I’d have both older kids sleep in clothes for next day. See if nanny can come at 7:30 and take over bus run.

A chart with pics of streamlined morning activities and a reward if completed early helped my child with ADD get out the door. Say a game on iPad if done by 7:20, high value and immediate reward.

Why do people keep suggesting kids were clothes to bed? That won’t work for a lot of kids who sweat at night.

Nannies are expensive- adding 1/2 hr to their day would require paying time and a half or double time. A lot of people can’t afford to add that on. And a lot of nannies don’t want to come earlier.

Most kids aren’t sweaty at night. Do you give them another bath in the morning to get all the sweat off? If not, just changing their clothes will only do so much. Mine bathe at night and don’t sweat. They can rewear pjs three nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After 6 brushes his teeth at night, put his toothbrush downstairs in/near the kitchen so immediately after eating he can brush. Can he sleep in his clothes he'll wear the next day?

All of this. And breakfast could be a protein bar eaten walking or a cheese stick, fruit can be messy, I’d save for a different meal.

I’d have both older kids sleep in clothes for next day. See if nanny can come at 7:30 and take over bus run.

A chart with pics of streamlined morning activities and a reward if completed early helped my child with ADD get out the door. Say a game on iPad if done by 7:20, high value and immediate reward.

Why do people keep suggesting kids were clothes to bed? That won’t work for a lot of kids who sweat at night.

Nannies are expensive- adding 1/2 hr to their day would require paying time and a half or double time. A lot of people can’t afford to add that on. And a lot of nannies don’t want to come earlier.

Yeah..don’t do this. Wearing your clothes to bed and not changing in the morning and brushing teeth in kitchen? Gross. Don’t do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the 3 yo and newborn are staying home with the nanny, while your oldest goes to school? What is your 3 yo doing while you are trying to get your oldest ready for school?

op here. 3 year old starts preschool at 9. She is thankfully very easygoing and hangs out with me while I get the oldest ready for school and on the bus. Then once he’s off, she eats breakfast, gets dressed, plays and goes to school.

I currently have a nanny who is here early mornings so im managing, but for various (significant) reasons we are going to need to change our childcare setup and most nannies can’t arrive early enough to help at 6:45/7am. Maybe I postpone the transition for a couple of months until the baby is more situated and hopefully on a schedule.

To answer other people’s questions - DH is working by 7am. Unfortunately he’s not going to be much help with early mornings but I knew that and just try to work around it.

So you aren’t even having to leave the house with newborn until until after your 6 yr old leaves on the bus? This actually makes things much easier OP. There is really nothing special to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have the nanny come in earlier

+1

[Anonymous]

Streamline the night before - the non perishable breakfast items set out on table, water bottles in the backpacks, lunches already done.

Are you able to feed the baby while moving around the house? Or put the baby in the rocker for 20 min?

Can u role play with the 6 yr old on the weekend? "Show me how you can brush your teeth" so you can get that self sufficiency going?
With an ADHD diagnosis, I assume you have a therapist working with him, correct? See if you can get some tips for daily home life stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girl I just went through this last year, I feel you. My husband was out the door around 7, I had a newborn, 4 yr old and 6 yr old. It took us a couple of weeks to figure it out. My 4 yr old was reaaaally difficult - combination of anxiety/adhd where she got angry if she felt rush but took forever to do anything, but she insisted on being the one to choose her clothes otherwise it was war. My 6 yr old wasn’t so controlling but probably also has some elements of adhd. I feel you on having to stay on them to stay on task. My nanny arrived at 9, and bus came at 8:10, plus 4 yr old was in preschool.

In my case I could have had the nanny come earlier - and I was on maternity leave so she only came a few hours to help around house / watch baby. But I felt silly and wanted to give it a shot. It turns out my third baby was the chillest baby ever (is yours?) and my 6 yr old was super helpful (interacting with the baby, bouncing the bouncer). We missed the bus for like 2 weeks and I had to load everyone in the car for two separate drop offs lol…but then we finally got a routine down. I learned to time feeding the baby a bottle of pumped milk (nursing took too long) to when the kids were eating breakfast - so I’d follow them around to ensure they got dressed and brushed teeth while holding the baby, and helped them get breakfast before feeding. Feeding was the last thing we did before we walked to bus stop; and then after bus stop we hopped in car to daycare. Once I went back to work I left the baby at home w nanny before I dropped off big kids. I felt like I lived a whole day before I even sat down to my computer.

I had a winter baby and we’re in Chicago, so I had one of those car seat blankets that tucks inside and a car seat cover. Thank god for the stroller that clicks on and off with the car seat! I have fond memories of hauling her into daycare and having 10 little faces peeking at the baby - she was always asleep.

Now my third just turned 1 and I still mostly do morning routine by myself, but now my 5 and 7 yr old ride the bus together - game changer!

OP here, thank you, this is helpful! Right now I pump and get ready at 6am if the baby is sleeping (because to your point nursing takes too long while I’m getting the kids out the door), before the other kids wake up and the baby gets pumped milk for the feed around the time my oldest leaves for school.

6yo simply requires a lot of supervision and reminders to stay on task. He is impacted by his adhd, and on a weekend slower timeline, he can get up and get dressed and eat in a leisurely timeframe. Not the case on weekdays where I have 45 minutes to get him woken up, fed, dressed, cleaned up and out the door.

Dont know yet if #3 is chill (less than a month old) but #2 is.

To the people snarking about how this isn’t so hard and it’s not hard with hired help, my nanny requires a lot of micromanaging which is one of the reason our childcare setup needs to change. One of the reasons we have kept her this long is because she can accommodate early hours, which is helpful bc DH works early. I am on mat leave but when I am not, I am still the one doing a lot of the work to get the kids out the door and she will not be able to handle the transition to 3 kids. I’m managing fine with the small extra help she provides in the morning, but expect I will need to hire a different nanny, and most cannot get here as early as our current sitter. I’m also not complaining - I’m asking for tips I may not have considered. If I hire a new nanny id be solo in the early morning, and trying to get a sense of tips to make it work smoothly. And yes, I do have a first child “problem,” though I wouldn’t call him a problem. He has adhd and requires more scaffolding and accommodations to get out the door at 6 years old than a neurotypical child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: 3 is a lot with what you're juggling. But the horse has fled the barn. Know that this season will pass. The kids will soon grow and it will be different.

Night feed the baby so she's not hangry in the morning. Ser of the nanny can come half an hour earlier to help with the bus transition. Good job of doing night prep. Maybe do a morning task checklist for oldest.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Girl I just went through this last year, I feel you. My husband was out the door around 7, I had a newborn, 4 yr old and 6 yr old. It took us a couple of weeks to figure it out. My 4 yr old was reaaaally difficult - combination of anxiety/adhd where she got angry if she felt rush but took forever to do anything, but she insisted on being the one to choose her clothes otherwise it was war. My 6 yr old wasn’t so controlling but probably also has some elements of adhd. I feel you on having to stay on them to stay on task. My nanny arrived at 9, and bus came at 8:10, plus 4 yr old was in preschool.

In my case I could have had the nanny come earlier - and I was on maternity leave so she only came a few hours to help around house / watch baby. But I felt silly and wanted to give it a shot. It turns out my third baby was the chillest baby ever (is yours?) and my 6 yr old was super helpful (interacting with the baby, bouncing the bouncer). We missed the bus for like 2 weeks and I had to load everyone in the car for two separate drop offs lol…but then we finally got a routine down. I learned to time feeding the baby a bottle of pumped milk (nursing took too long) to when the kids were eating breakfast - so I’d follow them around to ensure they got dressed and brushed teeth while holding the baby, and helped them get breakfast before feeding. Feeding was the last thing we did before we walked to bus stop; and then after bus stop we hopped in car to daycare. Once I went back to work I left the baby at home w nanny before I dropped off big kids. I felt like I lived a whole day before I even sat down to my computer.

I had a winter baby and we’re in Chicago, so I had one of those car seat blankets that tucks inside and a car seat cover. Thank god for the stroller that clicks on and off with the car seat! I have fond memories of hauling her into daycare and having 10 little faces peeking at the baby - she was always asleep.

Now my third just turned 1 and I still mostly do morning routine by myself, but now my 5 and 7 yr old ride the bus together - game changer!

OP here, thank you, this is helpful! Right now I pump and get ready at 6am if the baby is sleeping (because to your point nursing takes too long while I’m getting the kids out the door), before the other kids wake up and the baby gets pumped milk for the feed around the time my oldest leaves for school.

6yo simply requires a lot of supervision and reminders to stay on task. He is impacted by his adhd, and on a weekend slower timeline, he can get up and get dressed and eat in a leisurely timeframe. Not the case on weekdays where I have 45 minutes to get him woken up, fed, dressed, cleaned up and out the door.

Dont know yet if #3 is chill (less than a month old) but #2 is.

To the people snarking about how this isn’t so hard and it’s not hard with hired help, my nanny requires a lot of micromanaging which is one of the reason our childcare setup needs to change. One of the reasons we have kept her this long is because she can accommodate early hours, which is helpful bc DH works early. I am on mat leave but when I am not, I am still the one doing a lot of the work to get the kids out the door and she will not be able to handle the transition to 3 kids. I’m managing fine with the small extra help she provides in the morning, but expect I will need to hire a different nanny, and most cannot get here as early as our current sitter. I’m also not complaining - I’m asking for tips I may not have considered. If I hire a new nanny id be solo in the early morning, and trying to get a sense of tips to make it work smoothly. And yes, I do have a first child “problem,” though I wouldn’t call him a problem. He has adhd and requires more scaffolding and accommodations to get out the door at 6 years old than a neurotypical child.

So now do you get your kid to the bus stop? Does he walk alone?

I have 3 kids and depending on when we/they wake up, we have to be out the door in 15 min. 45 min is plenty of time. My kids have always been able to get out the door. Getting dressed and washed would take 5 min for my boys. My daughter I actually have to tie her hair. Some days I do it while walking out the door.

When they were younger, the older two would get ready on their own while I tended to the baby. I would hold baby while getting breakfast on table and they would get dressed and ready on their own. My middle get somewhat neglected because he brushed his own teeth and got a bunch of cavities.

[Anonymous]

Can’t you manage your oldest while nursing? Nursing doesn’t take that long. I don’t understand what you are doing for your oldest. Do you follow him around? Maybe wake your oldest up earlier.