The USPS Santa Letters Gift Exchange, why do people complain when kids ask for expensive items like XBox, iPhones, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which is why it's better to just donate money to a charity who buys the toys. Or buy gift cards.

Also, don't offer to buy stuff for these exchanges if you're doing to be offended at how much it costs. Just give a financial donation. Why? Because the only reason you "want to shop" is to make yourself feel good. It's really not about the other person at all.

Why? Because you’re wrong. People have good intentions but they aren’t always much better off than the recipients. No need to attack the people trying to help. Are you a donor or recipient, by the way?

I would add, as someone who worked in international aid, I found many “good intentions” people frustrating. They were focused on wanting to help and the experience of donating, but also very controlling in how they helped. Some people thought poor people should happily accept worn out crap, for example. Or ignored what was really needed or requested. Their experience of just “trying to help” or “good intentions” was way more important than the person being helped.

Poor people also participate in popular culture. Of course the kids also want expensive toys and phones and PlayStations or whatever— upper middle class 10 year olds also want that! And like many children, they also don’t understand the expense or the ability of the gift giver. So keep that in mind if you’re irritated by an expensive list. You’re not obligated to give a kid an iPhone. But don’t get all mad at a kid for being greedy, a word I’ve seen at least once in this thread.

Today’s iPhone is probably the equivalent of some fancy radio a kid asked for in 1952 or some wagon or ranger toy.

No it’s not. Nobody was getting a $600 toy back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which is why it's better to just donate money to a charity who buys the toys. Or buy gift cards.

Also, don't offer to buy stuff for these exchanges if you're doing to be offended at how much it costs. Just give a financial donation. Why? Because the only reason you "want to shop" is to make yourself feel good. It's really not about the other person at all.

Why? Because you’re wrong. People have good intentions but they aren’t always much better off than the recipients. No need to attack the people trying to help. Are you a donor or recipient, by the way?

NP. Then don’t buy an expensive gift. But don’t get pissy at the child, who has no idea who you are or your financial situation.

Nobody is “pissy” then just move on to the next tag when they see an item that costs more than they planned to spend. The anger is a figment of your imagination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people think poor kids should be happy with whatever they get.

I think all kids should be happy with whatever they get. The holiday gift grab is depressing. None of these gadgets are good for kids and most, if not all, just require that you spend more and more money to actually use them. And then they’re obsolete in no time.

I don’t look at it as a gift grab — rather, as asking for something they are unlikely to ever get. If not asking Santa, then who would they ask? When I can afford it, I will buy that gaming system for them! It brings immense joy to children and offers them the opportunity to participate in conversations with those that have them.

Oh sure. Some day, when you can you’re totally going to do that. Until then you’re going to shame people into doing something you don’t do either.

Sorry, sister — I have done it. I bought an XBoxOne.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people think poor kids should be happy with whatever they get.

I think all kids should be happy with whatever they get. The holiday gift grab is depressing. None of these gadgets are good for kids and most, if not all, just require that you spend more and more money to actually use them. And then they’re obsolete in no time.

I don’t look at it as a gift grab — rather, as asking for something they are unlikely to ever get. If not asking Santa, then who would they ask? When I can afford it, I will buy that gaming system for them! It brings immense joy to children and offers them the opportunity to participate in conversations with those that have them.

And they can sell it to buy stuff they need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which is why it's better to just donate money to a charity who buys the toys. Or buy gift cards.

Also, don't offer to buy stuff for these exchanges if you're doing to be offended at how much it costs. Just give a financial donation. Why? Because the only reason you "want to shop" is to make yourself feel good. It's really not about the other person at all.

Why? Because you’re wrong. People have good intentions but they aren’t always much better off than the recipients. No need to attack the people trying to help. Are you a donor or recipient, by the way?

I would add, as someone who worked in international aid, I found many “good intentions” people frustrating. They were focused on wanting to help and the experience of donating, but also very controlling in how they helped. Some people thought poor people should happily accept worn out crap, for example. Or ignored what was really needed or requested. Their experience of just “trying to help” or “good intentions” was way more important than the person being helped.

Poor people also participate in popular culture. Of course the kids also want expensive toys and phones and PlayStations or whatever— upper middle class 10 year olds also want that! And like many children, they also don’t understand the expense or the ability of the gift giver. So keep that in mind if you’re irritated by an expensive list. You’re not obligated to give a kid an iPhone. But don’t get all mad at a kid for being greedy, a word I’ve seen at least once in this thread.

Today’s iPhone is probably the equivalent of some fancy radio a kid asked for in 1952 or some wagon or ranger toy.

No it’s not. Nobody was getting a $600 toy back then.

You do realize purchasing power changed over the decades. An expensive item then would have still had the same sticker shock it does now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people think poor kids should be happy with whatever they get.

I think all kids should be happy with whatever they get. The holiday gift grab is depressing. None of these gadgets are good for kids and most, if not all, just require that you spend more and more money to actually use them. And then they’re obsolete in no time.

I don’t look at it as a gift grab — rather, as asking for something they are unlikely to ever get. If not asking Santa, then who would they ask? When I can afford it, I will buy that gaming system for them! It brings immense joy to children and offers them the opportunity to participate in conversations with those that have them.

Oh sure. Some day, when you can you’re totally going to do that. Until then you’re going to shame people into doing something you don’t do either.

Sorry, sister — I have done it. I bought an XBoxOne.

Sure. You used future tense but we are supposed to believe you have done this. Did you fall on hard times from making bad financial decisions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Which is why it's better to just donate money to a charity who buys the toys. Or buy gift cards.

Also, don't offer to buy stuff for these exchanges if you're doing to be offended at how much it costs. Just give a financial donation. Why? Because the only reason you "want to shop" is to make yourself feel good. It's really not about the other person at all.

Why? Because you’re wrong. People have good intentions but they aren’t always much better off than the recipients. No need to attack the people trying to help. Are you a donor or recipient, by the way?

I would add, as someone who worked in international aid, I found many “good intentions” people frustrating. They were focused on wanting to help and the experience of donating, but also very controlling in how they helped. Some people thought poor people should happily accept worn out crap, for example. Or ignored what was really needed or requested. Their experience of just “trying to help” or “good intentions” was way more important than the person being helped.

Poor people also participate in popular culture. Of course the kids also want expensive toys and phones and PlayStations or whatever— upper middle class 10 year olds also want that! And like many children, they also don’t understand the expense or the ability of the gift giver. So keep that in mind if you’re irritated by an expensive list. You’re not obligated to give a kid an iPhone. But don’t get all mad at a kid for being greedy, a word I’ve seen at least once in this thread.

Today’s iPhone is probably the equivalent of some fancy radio a kid asked for in 1952 or some wagon or ranger toy.

No it’s not. Nobody was getting a $600 toy back then.

You do realize purchasing power changed over the decades. An expensive item then would have still had the same sticker shock it does now.

Yeah go ask your parents or grandparents what they got for Christmas in 1952. My parents got things like gloves, candy and an orange.

[Anonymous]

You all keep telling rich parents that Santa should only give the small things and not the Xboxes. So why should the poor kids be asking for Xboxes? Santa only brings little things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people think poor kids should be happy with whatever they get.

I think all kids should be happy with whatever they get. The holiday gift grab is depressing. None of these gadgets are good for kids and most, if not all, just require that you spend more and more money to actually use them. And then they’re obsolete in no time.

I don’t look at it as a gift grab — rather, as asking for something they are unlikely to ever get. If not asking Santa, then who would they ask? When I can afford it, I will buy that gaming system for them! It brings immense joy to children and offers them the opportunity to participate in conversations with those that have them.

Oh sure. Some day, when you can you’re totally going to do that. Until then you’re going to shame people into doing something you don’t do either.

Sorry, sister — I have done it. I bought an XBoxOne.

Sure. You used future tense but we are supposed to believe you have done this. Did you fall on hard times from making bad financial decisions?

((Sigh). I could afford it then and I can afford it now. I have no idea what the future looks like; however, if I can afford it in the future, I would do it again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people think poor kids should be happy with whatever they get.

I think all kids should be happy with whatever they get. The holiday gift grab is depressing. None of these gadgets are good for kids and most, if not all, just require that you spend more and more money to actually use them. And then they’re obsolete in no time.

I don’t look at it as a gift grab — rather, as asking for something they are unlikely to ever get. If not asking Santa, then who would they ask? When I can afford it, I will buy that gaming system for them! It brings immense joy to children and offers them the opportunity to participate in conversations with those that have them.

And they can sell it to buy stuff they need.

If they want to do that, then that’s great. It’s a gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To me, it seems as if it’s nothing more than a sign of the times. No one seems to get a new bicycle or one baby doll or new jacket for Christmas anymore. Everything is technology gadgets these days and everything is expensive! This would be the one chance that kid could have at getting an expensive Christmas gift. If an anonymous donor is buying, who wouldn’t encourage their kid to put that one thing that’s out of their price range on the list?

Why do you get upset when you see the letters for the expensive items?

What’s your opinion?

A lot of people think the pools should get shi**y gifts and be thankful for it, because they think they are better than everyone

[Anonymous]

I agree that poor kids shouldn’t be expected to have different wants than wealthier kids, the cool stuff is the cool stuff. I’m sympathetic. I like to participate in these gift exchanges, and my budget is my budget - I don’t particularly care if I spend it on multiple items or just one. But it’s typically not the $400-$500 that an Xbox would cost.

I think one explanation for why it puts people off, though, is because it’s a little tacky in the same way that it’s tacky to order the most expensive item on the menu when someone else is treating, or to put a bunch of $800 items on your wedding or baby registry. There was a thread here some time ago where OP got dumped on because her kids always order the steak and lobster when eating out, including when others were paying. Same concept.

I do understand that maybe some kids, particularly younger ones, don’t get this that you don’t pick the super expensive items when someone else is treating) but my parents taught me this as a general point of manners when I was a kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because people think poor kids should be happy with whatever they get.

Well, what is wrong with that? It is a charity. It is not really a "gift" but actually comes in the category of "alms". Also, an XBox is not a need but a very expensive want.

The entitlement is pretty audacious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people think poor kids should be happy with whatever they get.

Well, what is wrong with that? It is a charity. It is not really a "gift" but actually comes in the category of "alms". Also, an XBox is not a need but a very expensive want.

The entitlement is pretty audacious.

The kid is writing to Santa, they’ve got no idea it’s random adults paying for the gift with the USPS program.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because people think poor kids should be happy with whatever they get.

The few families that I know in Rockville who were submitting these requests collected gifts from a number of churches and social services agencies. Their kids received A LOT more for Christmas than most kids. In fact, many "poor" parents continue to be poor because they make unwise, frivolous purchases (including for their kids) whenever they get a little money. This attitude is transmitted to their kids. Asking for more basics and more simple toys, books and sports equipment would help their kids a lot more than an X box.