Did your kid write about/refer to their disability/SN in their college essay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was born with a really challenging physical disability. Since he’s had it since birth it’s just part of him and he definitely doesn’t think of himself as being disabled but by any definition he is. His life story is pretty impressive but he downplays it as I’m sure many others with disabilities do. I remember my husband once telling me that he just plays the hand he was dealt.

That's the thing here. Both my kids have disabilities that could be essay topics. Kid #1 didn't even think to write about them, I bet Kid #2 (whose disabilities are more significant) won't either. I think this is because this life is just their normal, this is how they grew up. They have had to work a LOT harder than other kids, but they don't go around thinking about their challenges or what they have overcome. They have just accepted it. This makes them really grounded and awesome people, but it doesn't make for a good essay.

Everyone is welcome to write about whatever is meaningful to them, but it strikes me as somewhat ironic that some of those who have overcome the most won't write about this stuff.

I’m the PP who previously worked in college admissions. Kids write college essays about the things going on in their lives. Writing about their experience as a disabled person doesn’t mean they haven’t “overcome” their disability. It doesn’t mean that they’re unreasonably or unnecessarily harping on something hard in their life. It doesn’t mean they’re whining about the lot they’ve been handed.

An individual’s experience navigating the world as a disabled person absolutely can make a great college essay. Not only can it let the admissions officer learn about them as an individual, how they choose to write about their disability can transmit a lot about who they are as a person and how they will show up on campus. It can demonstrate grit, determination, and strength in character that puts them heads and shoulders above peers who haven’t yet experienced how difficult life can be. It can be a far more compelling essay than the experience of the rich kid who has been so cloistered their entire lives that going on vacation to someplace like Costa Rica makes them realize that poverty, even relatively speaking, exists, and because of this newfound knowledge of poverty, they now take an annual trip to Costa Rica to volunteer at an orphanage there. (I am not exaggerating when I say this was a common college essay topic I saw at my top-25 SLAC.)

Your kids aren’t demonstrating some sort of profound relationship with their disability because they chose to write about something else going on in their lives.

From my perspective, very few topics are off limit, but some topics are higher risk because they absolutely have to be done well to be successful. You have to be a strong writer, have a good narrative arc, have a clear piece of information about you that you’re trying to share with with the admissions committee and you have to make that point very clearly, even if you’re not making the point explicitly. You have to use examples that demonstrate the point you’re tying to make because it’s not enough to just say the point and have the reader believe it. But if well executed, the riskier topic is often the better way to go. Low risk topics are risky in a different way. They’re usually bland and leave you indistinguishable from the next applicant. So maybe your kids have missed/will miss a great opportunity by not writing about their disability in their essays…

I think the issue here is that the definition of what a “disabled person” is has become extremely attenuated; and there’s also a sense that the label is used to expect accommodations for academic performance. An essay on your cerebral palsy or T1 diabetes? Maybe. An essay on your ADHD and your need for double time on tests? Hard to imagine how that’s not going to result in a giant eye-roll.

Colleges want to know kids can manage academically and socially. Writing an essay about your academic and social challenges seems like a very poor strategic choice.

[Anonymous]

HECK NO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS was advised to write about it in the Other Information section to explain pre-diagnosis grades.

Mine did as well but it was about his speech apraxia as the reason he didn’t take foreign language. The school didn’t require it and also sent a letter. Kid is academically strong but just unable to take FL. There was no ASL offered.

[Anonymous]

No. He had a different topic that was of greater interest to him. However, I would not have advised him to shy away from it for fear of rejection. If a school does not want him there because he has a disability, then it is not the right place for him. There are many other schools.

[Anonymous]

An essay on your ADHD and your need for double time on tests? Hard to imagine how that’s not going to result in a giant eye-roll.

I don't think ADHD is the ideal essay topic, but wanted to mention that, for many kids, like mine, there are social aspect of it to overcome. My kid has really struggled with friendships due to manifestations of his ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was born with a really challenging physical disability. Since he’s had it since birth it’s just part of him and he definitely doesn’t think of himself as being disabled but by any definition he is. His life story is pretty impressive but he downplays it as I’m sure many others with disabilities do. I remember my husband once telling me that he just plays the hand he was dealt.

That's the thing here. Both my kids have disabilities that could be essay topics. Kid #1 didn't even think to write about them, I bet Kid #2 (whose disabilities are more significant) won't either. I think this is because this life is just their normal, this is how they grew up. They have had to work a LOT harder than other kids, but they don't go around thinking about their challenges or what they have overcome. They have just accepted it. This makes them really grounded and awesome people, but it doesn't make for a good essay.

Everyone is welcome to write about whatever is meaningful to them, but it strikes me as somewhat ironic that some of those who have overcome the most won't write about this stuff.

Unfortunately my kid’s disabilities impact him a in a way that he has to think about it EVERY day and there is no going about life as “normal”. He chose to write about it because it defines so much of who he is and what he’s had to overcome to even be able to go to college.

So yeah if your kid worked hard and is aiming for top 50 colleges then it’s a totally different situation than someone who we weren’t even sure if college was in the cards and is not applying to overly competitive colleges.

This. For every social interaction my kid has, their autism impacts them. So it’s all well and fine there are so many people that don’t even have to think about their disabilities! That’s not the case for my kid. I’m not saying that they will write about it, but every second of their day is impacted by it when they aren’t at home where they can unmask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was born with a really challenging physical disability. Since he’s had it since birth it’s just part of him and he definitely doesn’t think of himself as being disabled but by any definition he is. His life story is pretty impressive but he downplays it as I’m sure many others with disabilities do. I remember my husband once telling me that he just plays the hand he was dealt.

That's the thing here. Both my kids have disabilities that could be essay topics. Kid #1 didn't even think to write about them, I bet Kid #2 (whose disabilities are more significant) won't either. I think this is because this life is just their normal, this is how they grew up. They have had to work a LOT harder than other kids, but they don't go around thinking about their challenges or what they have overcome. They have just accepted it. This makes them really grounded and awesome people, but it doesn't make for a good essay.

Everyone is welcome to write about whatever is meaningful to them, but it strikes me as somewhat ironic that some of those who have overcome the most won't write about this stuff.

Unfortunately my kid’s disabilities impact him a in a way that he has to think about it EVERY day and there is no going about life as “normal”. He chose to write about it because it defines so much of who he is and what he’s had to overcome to even be able to go to college.

So yeah if your kid worked hard and is aiming for top 50 colleges then it’s a totally different situation than someone who we weren’t even sure if college was in the cards and is not applying to overly competitive colleges.

Their lives are not "normal" either and yes, it does impact them and they have each had some really hard times; it's just that it's so much *their* normal that I don't think they would know to write about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was born with a really challenging physical disability. Since he’s had it since birth it’s just part of him and he definitely doesn’t think of himself as being disabled but by any definition he is. His life story is pretty impressive but he downplays it as I’m sure many others with disabilities do. I remember my husband once telling me that he just plays the hand he was dealt.

That's the thing here. Both my kids have disabilities that could be essay topics. Kid #1 didn't even think to write about them, I bet Kid #2 (whose disabilities are more significant) won't either. I think this is because this life is just their normal, this is how they grew up. They have had to work a LOT harder than other kids, but they don't go around thinking about their challenges or what they have overcome. They have just accepted it. This makes them really grounded and awesome people, but it doesn't make for a good essay.

Everyone is welcome to write about whatever is meaningful to them, but it strikes me as somewhat ironic that some of those who have overcome the most won't write about this stuff.

Unfortunately my kid’s disabilities impact him a in a way that he has to think about it EVERY day and there is no going about life as “normal”. He chose to write about it because it defines so much of who he is and what he’s had to overcome to even be able to go to college.

So yeah if your kid worked hard and is aiming for top 50 colleges then it’s a totally different situation than someone who we weren’t even sure if college was in the cards and is not applying to overly competitive colleges.

This. For every social interaction my kid has, their autism impacts them. So it’s all well and fine there are so many people that don’t even have to think about their disabilities! That’s not the case for my kid. I’m not saying that they will write about it, but every second of their day is impacted by it when they aren’t at home where they can unmask.

You totally missed my point. It's not that they don't have to think about their disabilites, they do. It's that they are just part of their daily lives, and that's so ingrained that it is their normal. So I don't know how they would even write about it. It's all they know. They have know idea how much they have done to overcome it, because they don't have another frame of reference. Maybe it's because there are only two kids in our family and they both have disabilities, so this is all they know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was born with a really challenging physical disability. Since he’s had it since birth it’s just part of him and he definitely doesn’t think of himself as being disabled but by any definition he is. His life story is pretty impressive but he downplays it as I’m sure many others with disabilities do. I remember my husband once telling me that he just plays the hand he was dealt.

That's the thing here. Both my kids have disabilities that could be essay topics. Kid #1 didn't even think to write about them, I bet Kid #2 (whose disabilities are more significant) won't either. I think this is because this life is just their normal, this is how they grew up. They have had to work a LOT harder than other kids, but they don't go around thinking about their challenges or what they have overcome. They have just accepted it. This makes them really grounded and awesome people, but it doesn't make for a good essay.

Everyone is welcome to write about whatever is meaningful to them, but it strikes me as somewhat ironic that some of those who have overcome the most won't write about this stuff.

Unfortunately my kid’s disabilities impact him a in a way that he has to think about it EVERY day and there is no going about life as “normal”. He chose to write about it because it defines so much of who he is and what he’s had to overcome to even be able to go to college.

So yeah if your kid worked hard and is aiming for top 50 colleges then it’s a totally different situation than someone who we weren’t even sure if college was in the cards and is not applying to overly competitive colleges.

This. For every social interaction my kid has, their autism impacts them. So it’s all well and fine there are so many people that don’t even have to think about their disabilities! That’s not the case for my kid. I’m not saying that they will write about it, but every second of their day is impacted by it when they aren’t at home where they can unmask.

You totally missed my point. It's not that they don't have to think about their disabilites, they do. It's that they are just part of their daily lives, and that's so ingrained that it is their normal. So I don't know how they would even write about it. It's all they know. They have know idea how much they have done to overcome it, because they don't have another frame of reference. Maybe it's because there are only two kids in our family and they both have disabilities, so this is all they know?

OP. My DD is very aware of how she’s different from other kids.

[Anonymous]

My DD is autistic. It is who she is and affects every part of her life including where she goes to HS and which classes she chooses to take. It affects her social interactions and her ECs.

If she could actually be authentic, as all AOs say they want applicants to be, she would write about because it is who she is. It explains so many of the choices she and we have made regarding school and activities. But they don’t actually want to hear it. She knows that. So she writes about other things and hides her disability because they don’t want to hear it. She is not allowed to be her authentic self or explain why she makes the choices she makes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband was born with a really challenging physical disability. Since he’s had it since birth it’s just part of him and he definitely doesn’t think of himself as being disabled but by any definition he is. His life story is pretty impressive but he downplays it as I’m sure many others with disabilities do. I remember my husband once telling me that he just plays the hand he was dealt.

That's the thing here. Both my kids have disabilities that could be essay topics. Kid #1 didn't even think to write about them, I bet Kid #2 (whose disabilities are more significant) won't either. I think this is because this life is just their normal, this is how they grew up. They have had to work a LOT harder than other kids, but they don't go around thinking about their challenges or what they have overcome. They have just accepted it. This makes them really grounded and awesome people, but it doesn't make for a good essay.

Everyone is welcome to write about whatever is meaningful to them, but it strikes me as somewhat ironic that some of those who have overcome the most won't write about this stuff.

I’m the PP who previously worked in college admissions. Kids write college essays about the things going on in their lives. Writing about their experience as a disabled person doesn’t mean they haven’t “overcome” their disability. It doesn’t mean that they’re unreasonably or unnecessarily harping on something hard in their life. It doesn’t mean they’re whining about the lot they’ve been handed.

An individual’s experience navigating the world as a disabled person absolutely can make a great college essay. Not only can it let the admissions officer learn about them as an individual, how they choose to write about their disability can transmit a lot about who they are as a person and how they will show up on campus. It can demonstrate grit, determination, and strength in character that puts them heads and shoulders above peers who haven’t yet experienced how difficult life can be. It can be a far more compelling essay than the experience of the rich kid who has been so cloistered their entire lives that going on vacation to someplace like Costa Rica makes them realize that poverty, even relatively speaking, exists, and because of this newfound knowledge of poverty, they now take an annual trip to Costa Rica to volunteer at an orphanage there. (I am not exaggerating when I say this was a common college essay topic I saw at my top-25 SLAC.)

Your kids aren’t demonstrating some sort of profound relationship with their disability because they chose to write about something else going on in their lives.

From my perspective, very few topics are off limit, but some topics are higher risk because they absolutely have to be done well to be successful. You have to be a strong writer, have a good narrative arc, have a clear piece of information about you that you’re trying to share with with the admissions committee and you have to make that point very clearly, even if you’re not making the point explicitly. You have to use examples that demonstrate the point you’re tying to make because it’s not enough to just say the point and have the reader believe it. But if well executed, the riskier topic is often the better way to go. Low risk topics are risky in a different way. They’re usually bland and leave you indistinguishable from the next applicant. So maybe your kids have missed/will miss a great opportunity by not writing about their disability in their essays…

I think the issue here is that the definition of what a “disabled person” is has become extremely attenuated; and there’s also a sense that the label is used to expect accommodations for academic performance. An essay on your cerebral palsy or T1 diabetes? Maybe. An essay on your ADHD and your need for double time on tests? Hard to imagine how that’s not going to result in a giant eye-roll.

Colleges want to know kids can manage academically and socially. Writing an essay about your academic and social challenges seems like a very poor strategic choice.

I agree with the bolded and yet come to a different conclusion than PP.

I think what a lot of people are missing is that a diagnosis of ADHD forces kids to get to know themselves — how they learn, what structures they need to create for themselves, where they thrive, and what strategies help in the areas that don’t come as naturally. They often have developed the kind of self knowledge that other kids haven’t yet. This doesn’t put them at a disadvantage academically; sometimes it is quite literally the opposite.

I agree the discussion shouldn’t be about providing excuses, but man — when a kid knows exactly who they are and can articulate based on experience what they need to thrive? That is powerful.