Using the common app to tell a story

[Anonymous]

REPOSTING, formatting off.

Saw these themes on Crimson when searching for common app cheat sheet, and thought of this thread:

Application Theme Case Studies
The Compassionate Innovator in Healthcare Technology
This student aimed to merge his interests in technology and healthcare.

Academics: Excelling in biology and computer science, he took advanced courses and participated in a coding bootcamp where he focused on developing health-related applications.

Extracurriculars: He volunteered at a hospital, where he witnessed firsthand the challenges patients and healthcare providers face. This inspired him to create a mobile app that helps streamline patient check-ins and track medical records more efficiently.

Essays: In his personal essay, he wrote about how watching his grandparents struggle with their health conditions (Alzheimer’s disease and hearing loss) inspired him to pursue this field.

Additional Info: ​​This student had official patents and recognition from the local government. He linked directly to them in the Additional Information section.

Recommendations: Both his computer science teacher and the hospital volunteer coordinator wrote letters of recommendation underscoring his unique blend of technical ability and compassion.


The Future Urban Planner with a Passion for Sustainable Cities
This student was deeply passionate about urban development and environmental sustainability.

Academics: She excelled in advanced geography and environmental science courses, showing a strong academic interest in how cities can be designed to be more eco-friendly.

Extracurriculars: Outside the classroom, she led the school's environmental club, organizing initiatives to reduce waste and promote recycling. She also participated in a summer program focused on urban planning and sustainability at a local university. There, she developed a proposal for a green public park in an underserved community.

Essays: For her personal essay, she wrote about her vision for future cities that prioritize both human well-being and environmental health.

Recommendations: Letters of recommendation from her geography teacher and the director of the summer program emphasized her dedication and innovative ideas in sustainable urban planning.


The Artist-Activist for Social Change
A student with a strong background in the arts and a commitment to social justice crafted a theme around using creativity for activism.

Academics: She excelled in visual arts and history, often blending the two in projects that highlighted social issues.

Extracurriculars: She led her school's art club and organized exhibitions that addressed topics like racial equality and gender rights. During the summer, she interned at a community art center where she helped develop workshops for marginalized youth.

Essays: In her personal statement, she recounted how art became a powerful tool for raising awareness and driving change, sharing personal stories of how their work impacted their community.

Recommendations: Her art teacher and the director of the community art center wrote letters of recommendation that emphasized her talent and dedication to social activism through art. This painted a vivid picture of her contributions and potential.


https://www.crimsoneducation.org/us/blog/how-...nd-out-with-a-theme/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OK, just transformed 4 of the common app activities. They are amazing now…tied to story/hook/narrative.


There’s no one I can tell in real life.
So!!

Are you the HS student or the parent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re Activities and humor - Yes - humor helps the descriptions stand out.

Can you give an example of what humor would look like in an activities section?

12th Grade - member of Electric Car Team as a forcing function to get my drivers license.

Personally, I wouldn't waste the character limits on humor unless it was a natural connection to other interests or major. This stuff is dry and factual. Our student did an exercise where they came up with keywords that best describe them - whittled it down to 5 and then ensured those themes/words were in the application - but didn't necessarily overlap - so if the essay was about one theme, then the EC's told a different part of their story, and so on. Some are easier to connect than others -but it was how they pulled together their narrative or story. I think they followed the College Essay guys suggestions and exercises.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Humor or joyful is stupid. Unless it is how an essay is written. No one is reading an app feeling joyful.

Joy is a priority for some colleges. Where have you been?

https://blog.cambridgecoaching.com/joy-not-just-a-character-in-inside-out-but-a-supplement-essay-too

I find it difficult to be fully truthful here.

If I study my motivations and what gives me joy, I would say, two blondes at the same time. But of course I would not write that. What if the AO is a brunette?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ok this is so timely and helpful.
Reviewing pdf of my DD common app. I agree with the point of drawing a line so to speak between everything.

Why are you looking at it. That’s creepy.

[Anonymous]

Wow. It's too overwhelming. Are there T100 schools that don't care as much about ECs and a story/narrative in common app?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this is so timely and helpful.
Reviewing pdf of my DD common app. I agree with the point of drawing a line so to speak between everything.

Why are you looking at it. That’s creepy.

NP: you do not understand how to properly use the word “creepy.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ok this is so timely and helpful.
Reviewing pdf of my DD common app. I agree with the point of drawing a line so to speak between everything.

Why are you looking at it. That’s creepy.

What? Looking at what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. It's too overwhelming. Are there T100 schools that don't care as much about ECs and a story/narrative in common app?

Only T20 care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. It's too overwhelming. Are there T100 schools that don't care as much about ECs and a story/narrative in common app?

Only T20 care.

Michigan, UVA, Wash U, Emory, and Georgetown do care, don't they?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Re Activities and humor - Yes - humor helps the descriptions stand out.

Can you give an example of what humor would look like in an activities section?

12th Grade - member of Electric Car Team as a forcing function to get my drivers license.

I think this would be weird and do not recommend humor in the activities section.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Humor or joyful is stupid. Unless it is how an essay is written. No one is reading an app feeling joyful.

Oh you are wrong… these admissions officers want to be entertained. And they don’t want trauma. They don’t want sadness. Especially if you come from a relatively privileged background. It should be joyful and make you smile.

Because no privileged person has every experienced tragedy or even sadness or god forbid a learning disability. /s

[Anonymous]

Found this company, similar to command and crimson, except they spell out exactly how they build the candidate profile:

https://ingeniusprep.com/case-studies/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree.

Kids with successful apps generally evoke bouncy happy emotions.

Make sure your kid isn’t trying to be too deep. That’s not what they are looking for.

Agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I found this helpful for activities description. More than anything, she strikes me as a nice normal kid who has done a lot related to her specific /niche area of interest. It doesn’t all have to be crazy or OTT research.

https://www.commandeducation.com/resource/common-app-activities-list/

Below, you’ll find an Example Common Application Activities List! This fictional student demonstrates a strong hook in environmental science and art. Her hook is conveyed through an impressive mix of in-school extracurriculars, out-of-school activities, summer activities, and hobbies. Not only has she pursued multiple activities in both environmental science and art, but she has also found and studied creative intersections between these fields, through painting murals at local gardens, featuring and selling her nature photography on her personal social media, and studying environmental art at a summer program. By reading her Activities List, admissions officers would be able to envision her continuing to explore these intersections as an undergraduate, as well as contributing to sustainability initiatives and artistic projects and clubs on campus.
Through this highly descriptive and well-crafted Activities List, admissions officers can glean this prospective student’s important priorities and some of her salient characteristics. This student is creatively-minded, self-driven, capable of leading groups and teams, and interested in community-building. It is clear that as a student in NYC, she has taken advantage of the extensive resources at her disposal–universities, museums, nonprofits, and even her own apartment complex–in order to contribute to her community and explore her passions from multiple angles. Lastly, the fact that this student is an accomplished student-athlete speaks to her ability to manage her time effectively and develop an impressive and diverse variety of skills.
Admissions officers always look to see whether a student’s selections for their intended majors align with their hook and Activities List, and in this case, this Activities List would best complement an intended double-major in Environmental Science and Studio Art. Because this student also has an entrepreneurial streak, she could optionally indicate a secondary interest in business if a school offers dual degrees, majors, or minors in business administration for undergraduates. It is helpful to be aware that consistency across every part of the application, from coursework and letters of recommendation to the Activities List, intended majors, and essays, is necessary for building a cohesive narrative.

Activities
Environmental
10, 11, 12
Year
4 hr/wk, 52 wk/yr
Continue

Founder, The Cactus Swap Project NYC
Build community with over 1,000 cactus-lovers in NYC. Share info about plant sales, swaps, and propagation. Hosted planting workshops at 8 schools.
Environmental
10, 11, 12
School
8 hr/wk, 25 wk/yr
Continue

President, Average HS Green Club
Organized inaugural Green Week with themed activities and prizes. Convinced school admin to implement meatless Mondays. Host weekly meetings, trips.
Research
11
Break
35 hr/wk, 8 wk/yr
Continue

Research Intern, Local University
Collected data on health and resilience of trees in NYC saltwater marshes after flooding events. Recommended species and locations for replanting.
Athletics: JV or Varsity
9, 10, 11, 12
School
16 hr/wk, 18 wk/yr
Continue

Co-Captain and Setter, Average HS Girls’ Varsity Volleyball
Individually nominated for AVCA All-American Awards and won Average HS’s Spirit Award. Team placed 1st in division and advanced to state semifinals.
Community Service (Volunteer)
9, 10, 11, 12
Year
1 hr/wk, 26 wk/yr
Continue

Volunteer and Muralist, Beautiful Gardens Nonprofit
Create public art installations including murals and sculptures in community gardens. Designed rooftop herb garden installation for restaurant.
Community Service (Volunteer)
10
Break
6 hr/wk, 8 wk/yr
Continue

Volunteer, Major Urban Art Museum
Greet and direct visitors at information desk and coat check. Work shifts at gift shop and assist customers with check out and locating merchandise.
Art
9, 10, 11, 12
Year
1 hr/wk, 52 wk/yr
Continue

Painter and Photographer, @StudentName on Instagram and Etsy
Create art (paintings, portrait photography, nature photography) and exhibit on personal Instagram. Sell prints and stickers with $500+ in profits.
Art
10
Break
35 hr/wk, 3 wk/yr
Continue

Participant, State University’s Summer Environmental Art Institute
Studied intersections of art and environmental activism. Created multimedia portfolio of 5 works under guidance of professional artist First Last.
Work (Paid)
9, 10, 11, 12
Year
4 hr/wk, 45 wk/yr
Continue

Owner, Dog-Walking Business
Run dog-walking service with my siblings for neighbors in apartment complex.
Student Govt./Politics
11, 12
Year
1 hr/wk, 36 wk/yr
Continue

Class Representative, Average HS Student Government
Elected by peers as 1 of 4 class reps. Create and print posters to promote events, design and order class spiritwear, manage social media.

The most helpful part of this is how you tie together two discrete fields (enviro and art) into one spike. This is increasingly what is needed to get into a T10. It can't just be I love to write and here are the 5 ECs where I write (newspaper, magazines, journals etc)....it has to be much more SPECIFIC than that. Niche even. And it has to be INTERESTING. That's often the problem with these applications - of even extraordinarily smart kids - they aren't interesting, and they don't entertain the reader. They don't pull you in. And they don't paint a VIVID picture of who the kid is outside of a usual stereotype.

The most interesting thing about this kid's spike or admissions hook is how unfancy or tricked out it is. Truly achievable and believable.