Well that’s fair and very true. People are cruel on DCUM. On the other hand, my friends who do this in real life are almost always trying to gin up a lot of sympathy and drama over a situation that they know wouldn’t garner much sympathy if they told us the actual details. So it feels a bit manipulative. |
If it's marriage related but not worth separating over, is it really that big of a deal, or you're saying it's not worth separating over but maybe it really is a dealbreaker? Hard to give advice without knowing the situation. You can always lie and say you are sick if you want to back out of other committments. |
This is ridiculous. You are not telling us the full story. |
Why is there such secrecy? This is an anonymous forum. What is the concern? |
It is kind of ridiculous. Given that this is anonymous. |
An affair? |
OP just tell us what’s going on |
This. Firm boundaries which in your normal state would've been unthinkable. Say no to everything and say you're sorry but you're going through family stuff and don't explain. That also means boundaries for yourself. Allow your time to digest, process and grieve. Set aside time for yourself when you do only that - you may need to physically remove yourself for privacy, or not answer your phone. Cocoon. That's what I do. |
You're either willing to change or you're not. |
Those of you who want the gory details just love drama. You don't need those details to help calm op down. Just let her vent. Stop being so controlling just because you're addicted to the nasty stuff.
Op, I'm sorry you're going through this. Time will help. Just think how small this will feel in a year. It will. |
Is your spouse also struggling with what is know known. |
This is seriously a terrible idea. OP, just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You will get through it. Dulling the emotions and feelings won't make them go away. It will take away your ability to feel confident that you can get through it. You can. |
Yeah, her lying cheating husband is supportive of her not leaving him. Yeah, him? |
+1 Sometimes it's ok to lie. I agree with PP. Tell everyone you don't feel well and have to go to Urgent Care. Then tell them you have Covid and most quarantine at the Four Seasons for a few days. Find a good book and hunker down away from everyone! |
+1 Infidelity? Child abuse? Compulsive gambling? He spent all your resources on hummel figurines for his gay partner? |