How do you respond to being ignored?

[Anonymous]

Ignore back. I match energy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you guys mean like, in the moment someone is ignoring you? Or like, you feel they disregarded your opinion on something?

I mean like when people literally don’t respond to something you ask them. Like, emailing a business partner or kid’s teacher, or sending a text to a kid’s team member’s parent and they don’t respond and it’s about something that affects your kid. Things like that.

Email them again. Then call. Then go up the chain (i.e. forward the email to the principal/manager).

For other parents, don't let them affect your kid. If they're supposed to bring something but they don't respond, then you bring it. I'm trying to figure out that scenario and how I couldn't just take the reins myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. These are helpful. What about the teacher who won’t respond to my emails asking about my kids? Do you just forward to the head of school after 24 hours (or what amount of time?)?

I will generally ask someone twice before going above their head. And 24 hours seems really fast, although our teachers always respond right away. But I'm a professional and there are times that I can't respond to someone that quickly (and I don't have a classroom full of kids all day).

[Anonymous]

I get mad but then think to myself they must be busy/ have something serious on their mind. You need a motto OP.. they don't matter anyway.. something like that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This might not be what you’re looking for, but once when DH was repeatedly ignoring me, I threw a small, cooked potato at him.

It missed and hit the wall. It is not an effective strategy.

Otherwise, for professional stuff I go up and down the chain. For personal stuff, I’m like the PPs who ruminate and fantasize about what I’m going to say one day. There are some days at school pickup and events where I’ve barely resisted doing jumping jacks right in front of someone while yelling “I know you can see me and you’ve been re-introduced to me weekly since 2018!”.

This made me laugh out loud, PP! I hope you guys can now laugh about potatogate.

Also, I have a woman who used to live down the street from me, whose kids do the same niche sport as my kids at the same place, and whose kids attend the same private school as mine, and every time I would run into her she would say "it's so nice to meet you" and finally I said "we've met 10 times" because I couldn't keep it in any longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this happen to you often? Seems like an odd thing to ruminate about if its a one time thing.

A truck ran into my spouse while he was out for a bike ride, and he died. People don’t answer my emails or calls now. Teachers are ignoring my kids. It’s like we are evaporating. How do I deal with it? Why do people feel the need to say that’s odd? Is it odd to want to be answered?

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP. I hope you have some close friends or family that are responsive. I can't imagine why others would be ignoring you. People sometimes don't know how to act after something like that happens to someone but that's no excuse for a teacher not responding to you or ignoring your kids. In that case, I'd go to the guidance counselor and the lower/middle/high school director. Your kids are going through something huge and they need a lot of support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In any area of life, personal or professional. What strategies are effective? Especially when you can’t just walk away from the interaction/relationship, such as business partner or kid’s teacher.

I ask myself why I need so much attention

With people like you I always think wow....they must really be really unhappy to give responses like this. Why say anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to reflect on and reevaluate your own behavior because you’re being ignored as an intervention. Ignoring unwanted or unwelcome behavior is a tool many people use to manage problematic individuals they can’t avoid.

Or some people are just a$$holes....thats a theory too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does this happen to you often? Seems like an odd thing to ruminate about if its a one time thing.

A truck ran into my spouse while he was out for a bike ride, and he died. People don’t answer my emails or calls now. Teachers are ignoring my kids. It’s like we are evaporating. How do I deal with it? Why do people feel the need to say that’s odd? Is it odd to want to be answered?

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP. I hope you have some close friends or family that are responsive. I can't imagine why others would be ignoring you. People sometimes don't know how to act after something like that happens to someone but that's no excuse for a teacher not responding to you or ignoring your kids. In that case, I'd go to the guidance counselor and the lower/middle/high school director. Your kids are going through something huge and they need a lot of support.

I agree with this. I hope you have someone you can talk with and I'm so sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might not be what you’re looking for, but once when DH was repeatedly ignoring me, I threw a small, cooked potato at him.

It missed and hit the wall. It is not an effective strategy.

Otherwise, for professional stuff I go up and down the chain. For personal stuff, I’m like the PPs who ruminate and fantasize about what I’m going to say one day. There are some days at school pickup and events where I’ve barely resisted doing jumping jacks right in front of someone while yelling “I know you can see me and you’ve been re-introduced to me weekly since 2018!”.

This made me laugh out loud, PP! I hope you guys can now laugh about potatogate.

Also, I have a woman who used to live down the street from me, whose kids do the same niche sport as my kids at the same place, and whose kids attend the same private school as mine, and every time I would run into her she would say "it's so nice to meet you" and finally I said "we've met 10 times" because I couldn't keep it in any longer.

I feel like this sums up NoVA...people are so odd.

[Anonymous]

Are you in grief counseling?

[Anonymous]

The smiling and saying hi is replaced with a nod. Barely a nod. Only if eyes meet. A civil acknowledgement that you are ok with not having them in your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you. These are helpful. What about the teacher who won’t respond to my emails asking about my kids? Do you just forward to the head of school after 24 hours (or what amount of time?)?

You have to give them more time. I don’t think it’s deliberate, unless you are pestering them. Teachers are crushed with time and I assume they wil get back to me eventually. If it has been a few days, I might send anther email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you guys mean like, in the moment someone is ignoring you? Or like, you feel they disregarded your opinion on something?

I mean like when people literally don’t respond to something you ask them. Like, emailing a business partner or kid’s teacher, or sending a text to a kid’s team member’s parent and they don’t respond and it’s about something that affects your kid. Things like that.

Wait a reasonable amount of time and reach out again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you guys mean like, in the moment someone is ignoring you? Or like, you feel they disregarded your opinion on something?

I mean like when people literally don’t respond to something you ask them. Like, emailing a business partner or kid’s teacher, or sending a text to a kid’s team member’s parent and they don’t respond and it’s about something that affects your kid. Things like that.

I would either: send a follow up text or email (hey just following up on this in case it fell through the cracks!) People are busy and have different priorities. It’s entirely possible they keep meaning to respond, but something else more urgent comes up. Or they’re avoiding having to give you an answer you won’t like and are hoping you’ll go away. So you have to put a little more pressure on if you truly need their response. I’ve never had my kids’ teachers ignore me but if they were totally non-responsive about something urgent I would go up the chain at the school.

Or I would figure out a way to proceed without the person not responding to me. For instance I had someone out to give me a quote on some work recently. He seemed nice and interested in the project, but I either get crickets or excuses for things taking longer than expected when I try to find out the estimate. I’ve now given up and am getting another estimate. I’m not going to keep holding up my life if there is another way around this person.

As for the parent on your kids’ team I’m not sure what you could need from them that you couldn’t learn from another parent or the coach (besides maybe waiting to see if they can give your kid a ride or something). I would take a nonresponse as a no.