responsible 10 year old taking care of 6 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe these helicopter responses. I left my kids alone together (granted, as one-offs, not regularly) from a younger age than that. It depends on the kids and how they get along, and they will need a way to contact you. In almost every country other than the US, no one would bat an eyelash at what OP is proposing. Independence is good for kids.

Just because your kids did it and survived doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do.

No OP, on most places this would be illegal.

[Anonymous]

It's funny, because we were considering a very similar thing. Let's see if these facts change the responses:

1. We have a 10 and 7 year old, currently in SACC pre-care. SACC is about $430/month for the two of them.

2. I have a hybrid schedule, WFH two days a week. My wife is a high school teacher with late start every other day. My wife occasionally has early meetings.

3. When I work from home or when my wife has late start without any meetings, we stay home and walk the kids to the bus stop.

4. About five times per month, we use SACC, when both my wife and I need to go into work early on the same day. We never use SACC on teacher work days, since my wife teaches in the same district.

5. When I go into the office, there is about a 1 hour gap before the school bus comes.

6. Our 10-year-old is very responsible. The 7-year-old is fine but not an uber-rule-follower.

So we are basically paying $430/month for 5 hours of childcare per month. If we didn't have SACC, and in months with a bunch of holidays, we'd probably even reduce that to 2-3 hours per month where the kids would be home alone and have to get themselves to the bus stop.

What says DCUM? How long do we keep paying for SACC? Do we stop it for the 10 year old but keep it going for the 7 year old? Do we keep it for both this year, but stop it when they are 11 and 8?

One final factor is that SACC pre-care has a 3 year waitlist at our school, so I feel selfish holding three spots. My wife's view is we should not feel selfish and she doesn't trust the 7-year-old to always follow the directions of the 10-year-old.

[Anonymous]

The 10 year old should be playing with age-appropriate friends at aftercare. So should your younger child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny, because we were considering a very similar thing. Let's see if these facts change the responses:

1. We have a 10 and 7 year old, currently in SACC pre-care. SACC is about $430/month for the two of them.

2. I have a hybrid schedule, WFH two days a week. My wife is a high school teacher with late start every other day. My wife occasionally has early meetings.

3. When I work from home or when my wife has late start without any meetings, we stay home and walk the kids to the bus stop.

4. About five times per month, we use SACC, when both my wife and I need to go into work early on the same day. We never use SACC on teacher work days, since my wife teaches in the same district.

5. When I go into the office, there is about a 1 hour gap before the school bus comes.

6. Our 10-year-old is very responsible. The 7-year-old is fine but not an uber-rule-follower.

So we are basically paying $430/month for 5 hours of childcare per month. If we didn't have SACC, and in months with a bunch of holidays, we'd probably even reduce that to 2-3 hours per month where the kids would be home alone and have to get themselves to the bus stop.

What says DCUM? How long do we keep paying for SACC? Do we stop it for the 10 year old but keep it going for the 7 year old? Do we keep it for both this year, but stop it when they are 11 and 8?

One final factor is that SACC pre-care has a 3 year waitlist at our school, so I feel selfish holding three spots. My wife's view is we should not feel selfish and she doesn't trust the 7-year-old to always follow the directions of the 10-year-old.

Same. We have a 11 yo and a 5yo and a long waitlist at our school. We are doing 3 days a week for younger in an expensive aftercare that picks up from school and 2 days me or DH gets home earlier so older is watching younger for ~1 hour. If the aftercare were not available we would have gone for a paid babysitter. If money is a factor we would cut a lot of expenses before resorting to sibling care as a last resort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe these helicopter responses. I left my kids alone together (granted, as one-offs, not regularly) from a younger age than that. It depends on the kids and how they get along, and they will need a way to contact you. In almost every country other than the US, no one would bat an eyelash at what OP is proposing. Independence is good for kids.

This is ILLEGAL.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not safe.

For sibling care, elder should be 16 or more.

For only child, staying alone for up to two hours, 12.

In a doorman apartment building, subtract one year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If someone could reliably be home by 5 every single day, then maybe, since it would only be for 45 minutes. 1.5 hours is too long.

Agree

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe these helicopter responses. I left my kids alone together (granted, as one-offs, not regularly) from a younger age than that. It depends on the kids and how they get along, and they will need a way to contact you. In almost every country other than the US, no one would bat an eyelash at what OP is proposing. Independence is good for kids.

I can't believe you are so proud of being a shitty parent. I'd keep quiet if I were you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, your child who needs a babysitter should not be one.

YES!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe these helicopter responses. I left my kids alone together (granted, as one-offs, not regularly) from a younger age than that. It depends on the kids and how they get along, and they will need a way to contact you. In almost every country other than the US, no one would bat an eyelash at what OP is proposing. Independence is good for kids.

I can't believe you are so proud of being a shitty parent. I'd keep quiet if I were you.

Lol. Yes to this as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a big family and so far have been through six ten year olds I could have potentially left watching a six year old. Not one of them would have been up to the task.

It isn’t the ten year old you have to worry about so much as it is the six year old. They will not accept a sibling’s authority no matter how much they promise before hand, nor how much they honestly intend to. It will go out the window at the first sign of friction.

This OP, this. Your 10 year old is responsible (I have had responsible 10 year olds too!). Your younger child is six.

[Anonymous]

I am very relaxed and have left my kids home alone on occasion, but I probably would not do it 5 days a week.

My 3 kids are all very responsible and rule followers. I leave them alone occasionally to go get groceries or go for a run outside.

Kids are 11, almost 9 and 5.5.

I am all about installing independence though and I was younger than 10 when I was responsible for my younger brother and would walk home with him and wait until our parents came back.

[Anonymous]

I would not.

10yo is totally fine to be home alone for an hour but not to watch a 6yo every day. 6 years old is still very young.

Probably is also technically illegal and/or considered child neglect.

You have at least 2 more years before this will be a good idea.

[Anonymous]

No! He needs to at least be old enough to take a red cross babysitting course. Pretty sure that's age 11/12, or at least it was when I took it. Probably older than that these days.

Aren't you worried about an emergency? What if one of them chokes?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny, because we were considering a very similar thing. Let's see if these facts change the responses:

1. We have a 10 and 7 year old, currently in SACC pre-care. SACC is about $430/month for the two of them.

2. I have a hybrid schedule, WFH two days a week. My wife is a high school teacher with late start every other day. My wife occasionally has early meetings.

3. When I work from home or when my wife has late start without any meetings, we stay home and walk the kids to the bus stop.

4. About five times per month, we use SACC, when both my wife and I need to go into work early on the same day. We never use SACC on teacher work days, since my wife teaches in the same district.

5. When I go into the office, there is about a 1 hour gap before the school bus comes.

6. Our 10-year-old is very responsible. The 7-year-old is fine but not an uber-rule-follower.

So we are basically paying $430/month for 5 hours of childcare per month. If we didn't have SACC, and in months with a bunch of holidays, we'd probably even reduce that to 2-3 hours per month where the kids would be home alone and have to get themselves to the bus stop.

What says DCUM? How long do we keep paying for SACC? Do we stop it for the 10 year old but keep it going for the 7 year old? Do we keep it for both this year, but stop it when they are 11 and 8?

One final factor is that SACC pre-care has a 3 year waitlist at our school, so I feel selfish holding three spots. My wife's view is we should not feel selfish and she doesn't trust the 7-year-old to always follow the directions of the 10-year-old.

Hire a dang babysitter.