Hairy legs in an office setting

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody at work cares about her leg hair.

The women who insist every female must be clean shaven are outing themselves as sheltered, conservative or just old.

(I’m an old woman who shaves daily, but recognize that standards have changed. And that’s fine.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team DD. Don't force her into changing her body just because somebody may judge it.

Signed, a 35 year old woman who hasn't shaved her legs in a decade and has never once been impacted by it at work

Just curious. What job do you have? How dark is the hair on your legs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD (in high school) is doing an internship in an office this semester. It’s a traditional office setting (not at all a start-up, for example) and I’d guess the style of dress is business casual or one step above that. We’ve been working on what to wear since her normal clothing tends toward very casual or athletic wear. She doesn’t shave her legs which I could generally care less about but I suggested that she either wear pants or else shave if she is going to wear a skirt. She thought that was nuts and it’s totally fine to wear a skirt with hairy legs in an office. Which one of us is right?

I agree with you and you are a good mom. You’re looking out for her best interests.

She should wear pants.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot depends on the office culture. If it's a German company, she wouldn't raise any eyebrows. Same if it's a hippie NGO. But if it's a traditional environment, she's going to learn the heard way to read the room.

[Anonymous]

Let it grow and sue if they illegally creep on her legs and harass her about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, you should be able to have legs in whatever condition you want.

But people will judge. Again, they should not, but they will.

I'd just impress upon her that it's her choice but if you X then Y is likely and that is not fair but sometimes in professional settings it's best to attract the least amount of attention for your body when you are just starting out. Again, her choice, because that is fundamentally unfair. But worth saying.

Well-said!

[Anonymous]

It's a high school internship. She's not in line for a promo to VP where she needs to put up with abuse to get ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be honest and tell her that it is outside the norms and that some people will judge (but not say anything, because they could almost certainly be fired for that) but then leave it at that. The rest is up to her. If she knows the norms and chooses not to follow them, she’s an independent thinker. Good for her.

And it’s not like it’ll affect her career path or promotion potential or anything. She’s in high school. Most normal people, if they notice at all, will shrug and think “huh, kids today.”

OP. This is what I worry about, that it WILL affect her experience there and the recommendation she gets, etc. Later on when she has some seniority she can do what she wants. Right now she’s the most powerless person there, though. It seems bratty and entitled to go against office norms in your very first professional experience.

That seems crazy to me that leg hair would affect a potential recommendation. They already hired her so they must faith that she can do a good job. So she needs to do a good job. You’re overthinking the hair.

I think you underestimate the impact your physical appearance has in a professional setting.

No, I understand it well. But if she’s clean and dressed appropriately, this is really none of anyone’s concern.

[Anonymous]

It shouldn’t matter and no one at my company would bat an eye. Is she in a STEM field? It probably wouldn’t be as big a deal there.

[Anonymous]

I wear shorts to work but why is a "traditional" office allowing anyone to walk in bare legged?

[Anonymous]

The younger generation does not shave as much, and many do not shave at all. The gendered body hair expectations are seen as old-fashioned.

If you wouldn't ask a man to shave his legs to wear shorts, why would you ask a woman to shave when she has far, far less leg hair than the man?

[Anonymous]

If she doesn't shave she'll have to get by on her skills and your connections, not her looks. Her choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be honest and tell her that it is outside the norms and that some people will judge (but not say anything, because they could almost certainly be fired for that) but then leave it at that. The rest is up to her. If she knows the norms and chooses not to follow them, she’s an independent thinker. Good for her.

And it’s not like it’ll affect her career path or promotion potential or anything. She’s in high school. Most normal people, if they notice at all, will shrug and think “huh, kids today.”

OP. This is what I worry about, that it WILL affect her experience there and the recommendation she gets, etc. Later on when she has some seniority she can do what she wants. Right now she’s the most powerless person there, though. It seems bratty and entitled to go against office norms in your very first professional experience.

That seems crazy to me that leg hair would affect a potential recommendation. They already hired her so they must faith that she can do a good job. So she needs to do a good job. You’re overthinking the hair.

I think you underestimate the impact your physical appearance has in a professional setting.

No, I understand it well. But if she’s clean and dressed appropriately, this is really none of anyone’s concern.

So you don't get it! It is none of their concert of course, but she will be judged for it. When you are young and starting out, you want to fit in. Not the opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The younger generation does not shave as much, and many do not shave at all. The gendered body hair expectations are seen as old-fashioned.

If you wouldn't ask a man to shave his legs to wear shorts, why would you ask a woman to shave when she has far, far less leg hair than the man?

FFS no one is going to ASK her. The older generation will judge and they are still in charge for the most part. You sound really dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can be honest and tell her that it is outside the norms and that some people will judge (but not say anything, because they could almost certainly be fired for that) but then leave it at that. The rest is up to her. If she knows the norms and chooses not to follow them, she’s an independent thinker. Good for her.

And it’s not like it’ll affect her career path or promotion potential or anything. She’s in high school. Most normal people, if they notice at all, will shrug and think “huh, kids today.”

OP. This is what I worry about, that it WILL affect her experience there and the recommendation she gets, etc. Later on when she has some seniority she can do what she wants. Right now she’s the most powerless person there, though. It seems bratty and entitled to go against office norms in your very first professional experience.

It seems bratty and out of touch to think young people want to fit in with your old fuddy duddy "professional experience".