When to give up on teens keeping rooms clean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the clothes on the floor thing. At what point in childhood did they just decide clothes on the floor is ok?
My kid is 13 and has put her clothes in her hamper since about 18 months. I can’t see her ever just taking stuff off and leaving it on the floor.

It’s an organization problem. It happens because there are too many clothes, so it’s hard to put them away. The laundry gets more complicated but there’s no designated place for “dry clean” or “hand wash” or “collect enough wool sweaters until there’s a delicates load.” There’s no “home” for clothes that are worn but not dirty enough to be washed. Those categories start the slide, then you lose track of what’s regular dirty laundry or you stop seeing it and so don’t pick up the sweatshirt you dropped last night in exhaustion, etc etc.

Maybe your teen is neurotypical but absolutely no to all this for me. Hired a professional organizer, there is a spot labeled for everything, and the mess is unreal. All labeled spots ignored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The minute my kids stop doing their chores is the minute I stop making dinners for the family. Also, their allowance stops. This is no i secret or surprise.

When did you stop parenting, parent?

I do exactly the same! Also. their phones are collected if their responsibilities are not done. Believe me, once you involve allowance and phones it they get done.

Parents don't parent anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the clothes on the floor thing. At what point in childhood did they just decide clothes on the floor is ok?
My kid is 13 and has put her clothes in her hamper since about 18 months. I can’t see her ever just taking stuff off and leaving it on the floor.

Maybe you don't understand because humans are wired differently?

I'm an adult who will put clothes on a chair in the bedroom rather than the laundry basket. A lot.

The (mostly subconscious) thought process is like this:
I wore a pair of jeans for maybe an hour or so. Come home, change into sweats or whatever. The jeans IMO are still clean enough to wear again. Also, I'm not planning to do laundry again for a day or 2. I don't want to put the jeans in the drawers with all the clean clothes. Also, having them close at hand makes it easier for me to grab them when I want to put them on again. So, on the chair they go.

As for why my teen prefers to put his dirty clothes on the floor rather than the 2 chairs in his room or the 2 laundry baskets/hampers in his closet, who knows? Maybe he's asserting his independence from parental rules. Normal teen behavior. Maybe his life is filled with other obligations (homework, sports schedule, friends,) such that room organization is a low priority in his teenaged brain. Maybe his executive functioning isn't fully developed yet.

Whatever the reason, I'm not spending my time nagging him about a few clothes on the floor if his room is generally in good order and not a sty.

[Anonymous]

^^^

More excuses from non-parenting "parents."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^

More excuses from non-parenting "parents."

The OP asked, I answered. If you don't like the answer, you could MYOB.

But that's not a characteristic of rigid, overly-controlling, close-minded, punishing, authoritarian types, is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand the clothes on the floor thing. At what point in childhood did they just decide clothes on the floor is ok?
My kid is 13 and has put her clothes in her hamper since about 18 months. I can’t see her ever just taking stuff off and leaving it on the floor.

Maybe you don't understand because humans are wired differently?

I'm an adult who will put clothes on a chair in the bedroom rather than the laundry basket. A lot.

The (mostly subconscious) thought process is like this:
I wore a pair of jeans for maybe an hour or so. Come home, change into sweats or whatever. The jeans IMO are still clean enough to wear again. Also, I'm not planning to do laundry again for a day or 2. I don't want to put the jeans in the drawers with all the clean clothes. Also, having them close at hand makes it easier for me to grab them when I want to put them on again. So, on the chair they go.

As for why my teen prefers to put his dirty clothes on the floor rather than the 2 chairs in his room or the 2 laundry baskets/hampers in his closet, who knows? Maybe he's asserting his independence from parental rules. Normal teen behavior. Maybe his life is filled with other obligations (homework, sports schedule, friends,) such that room organization is a low priority in his teenaged brain. Maybe his executive functioning isn't fully developed yet.

Whatever the reason, I'm not spending my time nagging him about a few clothes on the floor if his room is generally in good order and not a sty.

Dude Dad has a whole bit on this. The clothes are neither clean nor dirty. They are in “purgatory.” It’s hilarious. (And my husband does this, which is why it was funny to me.)