Insecure about college prestige

[Anonymous]

Get your grad degree at a higher, more prestigious university.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A top school can open doors for you early on but at the end of the day it’s how you perform that counts. My first job was very MBA oriented with most from Harvard, Stanford etc. I was from a tier 2 MBA program. Many of them flamed out while I did very well.

No way can someone sit in a conference room and say, a ha, that must be the Harvard MBA because he's so smart and that other person must have gone to a lower school because they don't think as well. We all know people from top schools who never got anywhere close to reaching their career and personal goals.

I share the following on many similar threads of this kind.

Read or watch Malcolm Gladwell's talk about the research that shows the TOP THIRD of students of ANY school are the ones you want to hire...

He says to be a "big fish in a little pond" is better for students.

https://www.businessinsider.com/malcolm-gladwells-david-and-goliath-2013-10?op=1

And this will shock some some people:

"Bender was succeeded as the dean of admissions at Harvard by Fred Glimp, who, Karabel tells us, had a particular concern with academic underperformers. “Any class, no matter how able, will always have a bottom quarter,” Glimp once wrote. “What are the effects of the psychology of feeling average, even in a very able group? Are there identifiable types with the psychological or what—not tolerance to be “happy’ or to make the most of education while in the bottom quarter?” Glimp thought it was critical that the students who populated the lower rungs of every Harvard class weren’t so driven and ambitious that they would be disturbed by their status. “Thus the renowned (some would say notorious) Harvard admission practice known as the “happy-bottom-quarter’ policy was born,” Karabel writes.

This can be seen in Harvard's PRL formula - an index designed to help sort applicants based on their potential for success. A high PRL that looks sound is almost guaranteed to get in, while a lower PRL needs something else to help them along. That could be a background that calls the PRL's accuracy into question, or extracurriculars like art and athletics that indicate they will provide non-academic value to the college and student body. And, if they can be happy with their college experience even if they fall in the bottom quartile, then they effectively make things easier for their classmates."

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the responses. I did go to a top grad school for my field but still have that regret that I didn’t try harder in high school out of fear of not measuring up. I always look at people’s undergrad degrees as a measure of their talent. Grad school seems a cop out way of upping ones academic credentials—undergrad admissions are frequently much harder.
Again realize nothing more than my own insecurities. I always look at Ivy League grad wedding announcements, for example, to see whether there is parity in the partner’s own school background. Silly I know. Probably how I was brought up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. I did go to a top grad school for my field but still have that regret that I didn’t try harder in high school out of fear of not measuring up. I always look at people’s undergrad degrees as a measure of their talent. Grad school seems a cop out way of upping ones academic credentials—undergrad admissions are frequently much harder.
Again realize nothing more than my own insecurities. I always look at Ivy League grad wedding announcements, for example, to see whether there is parity in the partner’s own school background. Silly I know. Probably how I was brought up.

Total pickme energy. Wishing for someone to tell you are worthwhile instead of being worthwhile. Judging others instead doing anything constructive. Don't blame "how you were brought up" for your own grossness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once you start working, nobody cares where you went to school.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone with an undergrad degree and PhD from the most prestigious ivy who bounced around a few forgettable jobs before returning to their alma mater in a very low-level job working with students (not teaching). Tremendous waste of money imho. It all comes down to personality and drive at the end of the day, and those skills simply can’t be taught.

PS - Some of the most broken people I know in terms of anxiety and depression requiring lots of therapy and meds went to the tippy top ivies. I think their parents wrecked them by applying far too much pressure when they were young children.

I second this.

[Anonymous]

Trust that no one really cares about this. I’m 46, and literally have no idea where any of my colleagues attended school. I work with people who have all sorts of PhDs, MAs, MBAs, and no one ever asks or talks about this.

The older you get, the less people will define their lives by their college experience. The ones that don’t are emotionally stunted.

[Anonymous]

I also went to an okay liberal arts school for undergrad and a decent state school for graduate school. It bothers me a bit from time to time, but overall my life turned out well. I’ve had a good career and make more than a lot of my peers. My spouse is a high earner so that helps.

[Anonymous]

I went to mediocre undergrad and law schools and have done extremely well in the real world. I have a stable of well educated lawyers, mbas and consultants working for me but had to turn to graduates from the Naval Academy and other schools with noted hard workers in the last few years. The era of the best in the brightest from certain schools is over. Most of those kids are too fragile, too distractable and too disinterested in real work these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The joke's on them: they ended up at the same place as you.

This right here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know this is ridiculous but can’t get it out of my head. I work with people who attended world class universities and while I went to an okay liberal arts college, wish I had tried harder in high school to get into a better one. I was depressed and under enormous pressure as a teenager and stopped trying, and got rejected from most schools I applied to. I’m now in a career I love but still wonder if those college years could have been more enjoyable at a better school, that I missed out and am somehow how less worthy than those who did get in.

Most everything else in my life has turned out well. This just rankles me. I know it’s silly.

You are working WITH people who attended "world class" universities, so think about that a bit... you worked hard and earned the same opportunity they did. I'm always reminded of a friend who attended a tiny Christian college in the Midwest -- she was wicked smart and could have gotten into an Ivy, but she attended that college because they offered her a full ride. She is now a doctor. It doesn't matter where she attended college -- she was clearly good enough for medical school and good enough to be called "Doctor".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the responses. I did go to a top grad school for my field but still have that regret that I didn’t try harder in high school out of fear of not measuring up. I always look at people’s undergrad degrees as a measure of their talent. Grad school seems a cop out way of upping ones academic credentials—undergrad admissions are frequently much harder.
Again realize nothing more than my own insecurities. I always look at Ivy League grad wedding announcements, for example, to see whether there is parity in the partner’s own school background. Silly I know. Probably how I was brought up.

I mean this nicely, but you need to get over this. Lots of people goofed off or didn’t take life seriously, but then they picked themselves up — like you — and did something good. You have no idea how someone got into a “top” school — sure, they could have been smart, but they also could have gotten in because they were legacies, or they had parents who made them work hard (not of their own volition) and then they bombed their first year of college. You just have no idea. The bottom line is, you are in the same place as they are, so you are equals — despite your background.

I worked with a Harvard grad who basically treated everybody else as beneath him. Guess what, co-worker, we are in the exact same place at the exact same level, so that Harvard degree is about as good as my state school degree right now. Lol.

[Anonymous]

The further you are away from college, the less it matters. Seriously, it never even comes up.

It even get buried on your CV.

[Anonymous]

My neighborhood if filled with people who went to top rank schools. They often fly flags when their schools are in sporting events as a humble brag. The richest guy in our neighborhood went to an almost open admission school in rural Maryland. He always flies his school flag because one of the snooty neighbors once told him it "devalues" the street.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you start working, nobody cares where you went to school.

+1 and if they ask, they're the ones with a chip on their shoulder.

I went to a no name state u and worked for a FAANG along side people who graduated from Cornell and MIT, to name drop a few, and other state U grads. Most of us were not CS majors. This was several years ago, btw. We were all high performers.

Agreed.