How do you handle a kid losing/breaking things?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I attack it from the other end. Everything has a place and that’s a topic for discussion. You get a new retainer, we talk about where the case will be stored. You get new AirPods (which you probably bought yourself), we talk about how you will carry them around so you won’t lose them. I hardly ever need to replace things due to loss or breakage. And when something does get lost or broken they don’t even ask me - they use their own money.

Everything has a place in my house too (glasses: your face or your nightstand) they just never put it there. “Oh, I just set it down for a second…”

We rarely have this. But it’s probably because with two kids with ADHD (one really severe) this has been a lifestyle from the time they were little. Every now and then, though . . .

[Anonymous]

We just had a couple situations that apply here, I think.

1) 15 year old somehow "lost" his trumpet case during the school year. This was an owned, nice, expensive trumpet that his older brother had used. 15 year old wants to quit band, didn't really care about the trumpet, and let it hang out in the band locker case-less for months. DH decided the 15 year old would pay to replace the case, which is going to be about $250. He is working and definitely not happy about spending this kind of money on the expensive case and would rather buy a cheaper one, but dad isn't budging.

2) 12 year old has been using his older brother's debit card to buy Fortnite stuff for nearly 9 months, spending over $600 (this is money the kid had earned through refereeing and other work). Older brother finally figured it out. We did the math and I reimbursed the money to his account immediately, but the 13 year old had to give us every dollar he had (was about $100) and is working the rest off by basically being my chores assistant all summer long. I'm sure I'm overpaying him a bit but what can you do? Sometimes he pet sits and if he does that this summer the money will go towards the debt. He is also banned from Fortnite until the debt is completely paid off.

3) the same 12 year old damaged his flip phone in the rain. I paid to replace it (it was a hand-me-down) and told him next time he's paying for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Glasses they need. Particular glasses that are fashionable or expensive, they don't. They don't need that particular choice. Same with phone. Same with a winter coat. There were 2 times a year, Birthday and Christmas, when an upgrade to what they really prefer can go on A Wish List, as a gift.

This. My kid has ADHD and has been losing stuff his entire life. Half the elementary lost and found was his stuff lol. He's gotten much better, but still loses headphones, and he needs them for school sometimes. I don't buy expensive ones, and I've decided I will buy him one pair once a school year as a school supply. Beyond that, we have some old ones at home that are functional but not preferred, and he is always welcome to use those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly very case by case but ultimately we go with a “we will replace it once - after that you are on your own”

AirPods being the biggest issue for us - we are on pair #5 - the original and replacement on us - the other two on them…the fifth they dropped while running inside because they thought they heard gunshots and we deemed that an extraordinary circumstance and replaced as they did the right thing in the moment

This is insanity. I would never replace AirPods. The kid can get cheap headphones instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just had a couple situations that apply here, I think.

1) 15 year old somehow "lost" his trumpet case during the school year. This was an owned, nice, expensive trumpet that his older brother had used. 15 year old wants to quit band, didn't really care about the trumpet, and let it hang out in the band locker case-less for months. DH decided the 15 year old would pay to replace the case, which is going to be about $250. He is working and definitely not happy about spending this kind of money on the expensive case and would rather buy a cheaper one, but dad isn't budging.

2) 12 year old has been using his older brother's debit card to buy Fortnite stuff for nearly 9 months, spending over $600 (this is money the kid had earned through refereeing and other work). Older brother finally figured it out. We did the math and I reimbursed the money to his account immediately, but the 13 year old had to give us every dollar he had (was about $100) and is working the rest off by basically being my chores assistant all summer long. I'm sure I'm overpaying him a bit but what can you do? Sometimes he pet sits and if he does that this summer the money will go towards the debt. He is also banned from Fortnite until the debt is completely paid off.

3) the same 12 year old damaged his flip phone in the rain. I paid to replace it (it was a hand-me-down) and told him next time he's paying for it.

Buy the trumpet player a hard case gig bag, much cooler and easier to carry and roomier. Something like this, but you can also opt for soft case that Is lighter.

https://www.amazon.com/Trumpet-Rectangular-Storage-Compartment-PB301/dp/B0002D02BM/ref=as_li_ss_tl?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B0002D02BM&pd_rd_r=743fa1d9-17fe-11e9-8585-ebc516039c37&pd_rd_w=34Yed&pd_rd_wg=6e9Sz&pf_rd_p=ad07871c-e646-4161-82c7-5ed0d4c85b07&pf_rd_r=PXRSG0QXR6JWE27HNVTJ&psc=1&refRID=PXRSG0QXR6JWE27HNVTJ&linkCode=ll1&tag=naturalhe0002-20&linkId=0620d75edd40dda97fa4f12f5971039c&language=en_US

[Anonymous]

First - I make my son jump through hoops trying to find anything he lost. He has to check the lost and found at school for 2 weeks (it is amazing how often things show up eventually), text friends, retrace his steps, etc. It is amazing to me how much stuff is in the lost and found at schools, at the -lol, etc. that no one claims.

If he actually makes an effort, and the item is needed, I will buy one. But he does not lose much. It it became a habit, he would be paying for things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly very case by case but ultimately we go with a “we will replace it once - after that you are on your own”

AirPods being the biggest issue for us - we are on pair #5 - the original and replacement on us - the other two on them…the fifth they dropped while running inside because they thought they heard gunshots and we deemed that an extraordinary circumstance and replaced as they did the right thing in the moment

WTH. Just get them some ear buds on Amazon. No one should be replacing AirPods FIVE times, that’s insane

Kudos to the kid for making up some gunshots to explain losing pair #4 so mom would cough up for pair #5, that’s clever as hell.