AAP drama

[Anonymous]

How did you not anticipate this? I wonder if the girls said we won't see you anymore. I will say- my aap daughter tried to maintain a friendship with someone who stayed and her parents weren't invested. So it goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

I told my kid this when she got into AAP
1. Don’t talk about it unless directly asked

2. AAP means you are ready to do some more work in elementary school. Maybe your birthday is early, maybe your parents worked with you at home, there are many factors. You are just ready for some other work and learning right now.

3. All of you will end up in the same classes in high school. AAP doesn’t mean very much except that in elementary you are ready for a little more and ready to work hard.

4. All the kids are smart, maybe smarter than you. Maybe they had a bad day, when they tested, maybe they got in and their parents didn’t want them to go to AAP. Maybe they are really good at something else. Don’t think any of the other kids aren’t smart because they are and you will be together again in high school.

I used these same points when talking to my younger kid when they didn’t get into AAP. Everyone’s brain is different. You get to do in elementary what is best for you.

So far, it has mostly worked .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I failed as a parent today! My child (2nd grader) came home crying today because apparently three of her friends are switching schools to go to an AAP center next year. I’m happy with my child’ performance and school, and didn’t even consider pushing for this. But she’s been crying for over an hour about how she is “stupid” and will have no friends next year. She doesn’t even want to see these girls tomorrow because they told her they aren’t friends with her anymore. I had absolutely on idea this is something kids talk about- this is my first kid. Have other parents experienced this ?

This sounds very unreal.

NP. I assure you, this is absolutely real. The same scenario happened with my child back in 2nd grade too. What made it even worse was that he attended a center school already and so had to see these mean kids for the rest of his elementary years - they were in the AAP classes and he was in GE. When they all found out they had gotten in, they made a lunch table for only themselves, and anyone not accepted to AAP was not allowed to sit there. This lasted for a few days until I and a few other parents notified the teachers and then that ended. But as another poster said, the damage had been done. My son was called "dumb" and the kids who had been his best friends immediately shunned him.

Being told as a SEVEN year old that you're either "smarter" than other kids, or "not as smart" is incredibly damaging. The truth is, the vast majority of these kids are identical in ability. Only a very few at either end of the spectrum are so different that they need a specialized curriculum.

The AAP nonsense continued through middle school. Once high school rolled around, my son took all honors and AP classes and excelled. He was accepted to a top 20 college. He says to this day that nothing ever made him feel as bad as those kids who were chosen for AAP. And it was all so unnecessary. The school could have simply had flexible groupings for the four core subjects, that kids could cycle into and out of as needed. Instead, they choose to divide and label kids into two giant groups - groups full of almost identical kids. It's a total sham.

Wow - I could have written the above post!
Our base elementary is a center school. The kids all know that 3rd grade is when the "smart" kids go into the AAP classes. When younger DS came home the first day of 3rd grade, he was in tears because he was in the "dumb" class. Absolutely broke my heart. Fast forward to high school and he decided he wanted to do the IB diploma. I think DS had a huge chip on his shoulder and wanted to prove to his classmates that he was very capable. He graduated in the top 5% of his FCPS high school and just finished his freshman year at W&M where he made the dean's list.

I hate how FCPS implements AAP and agree with the above poster about flexible groupings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I failed as a parent today! My child (2nd grader) came home crying today because apparently three of her friends are switching schools to go to an AAP center next year. I’m happy with my child’ performance and school, and didn’t even consider pushing for this. But she’s been crying for over an hour about how she is “stupid” and will have no friends next year. She doesn’t even want to see these girls tomorrow because they told her they aren’t friends with her anymore. I had absolutely on idea this is something kids talk about- this is my first kid. Have other parents experienced this ?

This sounds very unreal.

NP. I assure you, this is absolutely real. The same scenario happened with my child back in 2nd grade too. What made it even worse was that he attended a center school already and so had to see these mean kids for the rest of his elementary years - they were in the AAP classes and he was in GE. When they all found out they had gotten in, they made a lunch table for only themselves, and anyone not accepted to AAP was not allowed to sit there. This lasted for a few days until I and a few other parents notified the teachers and then that ended. But as another poster said, the damage had been done. My son was called "dumb" and the kids who had been his best friends immediately shunned him.

Being told as a SEVEN year old that you're either "smarter" than other kids, or "not as smart" is incredibly damaging. The truth is, the vast majority of these kids are identical in ability. Only a very few at either end of the spectrum are so different that they need a specialized curriculum.

The AAP nonsense continued through middle school. Once high school rolled around, my son took all honors and AP classes and excelled. He was accepted to a top 20 college. He says to this day that nothing ever made him feel as bad as those kids who were chosen for AAP. And it was all so unnecessary. The school could have simply had flexible groupings for the four core subjects, that kids could cycle into and out of as needed. Instead, they choose to divide and label kids into two giant groups - groups full of almost identical kids. It's a total sham.

- Discipline kids poor behavior.
- Stop mainstreaming every single kid, many who need different accommodations that takes years to get out of the general education classes.
- Gate honors/GT classes again.
- Stop the flow of ESOL kids into gened classes when they can barely speak English.

This would allow flexible groupings to be viable. As it stands now, AAP is just normal school that many are clamoring for.

Or live in a rich part of the county.

The rude, arrogant comment happened in the rich part.

Right, AAP isn’t as important there as is it is to lower and middle SES schools that are plagued by issues that make general classrooms unworkable. AAP becomes critical special education in those circumstances.

Flexible grouping and less separation work fine at rich schools because they are not plagued by so many issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't AAP drama - it's shitty friends drama. Or, as PP said, made up adult drama.

Sorry OP It's this area-we've lived in two other states and it was not like this. For many parents this is all they focus on and talk about in front of their kids. I remember a mom crying at our elementary school as if life was over because her daughter did not get into algebra in 7th grade....and so many go on about how they just "have to" get their child into a center. the kids parrot the parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I failed as a parent today! My child (2nd grader) came home crying today because apparently three of her friends are switching schools to go to an AAP center next year. I’m happy with my child’ performance and school, and didn’t even consider pushing for this. But she’s been crying for over an hour about how she is “stupid” and will have no friends next year. She doesn’t even want to see these girls tomorrow because they told her they aren’t friends with her anymore. I had absolutely on idea this is something kids talk about- this is my first kid. Have other parents experienced this ?

This sounds very unreal.

NP. I assure you, this is absolutely real. The same scenario happened with my child back in 2nd grade too. What made it even worse was that he attended a center school already and so had to see these mean kids for the rest of his elementary years - they were in the AAP classes and he was in GE. When they all found out they had gotten in, they made a lunch table for only themselves, and anyone not accepted to AAP was not allowed to sit there. This lasted for a few days until I and a few other parents notified the teachers and then that ended. But as another poster said, the damage had been done. My son was called "dumb" and the kids who had been his best friends immediately shunned him.

Being told as a SEVEN year old that you're either "smarter" than other kids, or "not as smart" is incredibly damaging. The truth is, the vast majority of these kids are identical in ability. Only a very few at either end of the spectrum are so different that they need a specialized curriculum.

The AAP nonsense continued through middle school. Once high school rolled around, my son took all honors and AP classes and excelled. He was accepted to a top 20 college. He says to this day that nothing ever made him feel as bad as those kids who were chosen for AAP. And it was all so unnecessary. The school could have simply had flexible groupings for the four core subjects, that kids could cycle into and out of as needed. Instead, they choose to divide and label kids into two giant groups - groups full of almost identical kids. It's a total sham.

Wow - I could have written the above post!
Our base elementary is a center school. The kids all know that 3rd grade is when the "smart" kids go into the AAP classes. When younger DS came home the first day of 3rd grade, he was in tears because he was in the "dumb" class. Absolutely broke my heart. Fast forward to high school and he decided he wanted to do the IB diploma. I think DS had a huge chip on his shoulder and wanted to prove to his classmates that he was very capable. He graduated in the top 5% of his FCPS high school and just finished his freshman year at W&M where he made the dean's list.

I hate how FCPS implements AAP and agree with the above poster about flexible groupings.

+2 they make elementary school AAP out to be the end all be all of everything but a lot of kids are “late bloomers” in terms of the academics and end up doing well in honors and AP classes in HS without elementary AAP at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I failed as a parent today! My child (2nd grader) came home crying today because apparently three of her friends are switching schools to go to an AAP center next year. I’m happy with my child’ performance and school, and didn’t even consider pushing for this. But she’s been crying for over an hour about how she is “stupid” and will have no friends next year. She doesn’t even want to see these girls tomorrow because they told her they aren’t friends with her anymore. I had absolutely on idea this is something kids talk about- this is my first kid. Have other parents experienced this ?

This sounds very unreal.

NP. I assure you, this is absolutely real. The same scenario happened with my child back in 2nd grade too. What made it even worse was that he attended a center school already and so had to see these mean kids for the rest of his elementary years - they were in the AAP classes and he was in GE. When they all found out they had gotten in, they made a lunch table for only themselves, and anyone not accepted to AAP was not allowed to sit there. This lasted for a few days until I and a few other parents notified the teachers and then that ended. But as another poster said, the damage had been done. My son was called "dumb" and the kids who had been his best friends immediately shunned him.

Being told as a SEVEN year old that you're either "smarter" than other kids, or "not as smart" is incredibly damaging. The truth is, the vast majority of these kids are identical in ability. Only a very few at either end of the spectrum are so different that they need a specialized curriculum.

The AAP nonsense continued through middle school. Once high school rolled around, my son took all honors and AP classes and excelled. He was accepted to a top 20 college. He says to this day that nothing ever made him feel as bad as those kids who were chosen for AAP. And it was all so unnecessary. The school could have simply had flexible groupings for the four core subjects, that kids could cycle into and out of as needed. Instead, they choose to divide and label kids into two giant groups - groups full of almost identical kids. It's a total sham.

Wow - I could have written the above post!
Our base elementary is a center school. The kids all know that 3rd grade is when the "smart" kids go into the AAP classes. When younger DS came home the first day of 3rd grade, he was in tears because he was in the "dumb" class. Absolutely broke my heart. Fast forward to high school and he decided he wanted to do the IB diploma. I think DS had a huge chip on his shoulder and wanted to prove to his classmates that he was very capable. He graduated in the top 5% of his FCPS high school and just finished his freshman year at W&M where he made the dean's list.

I hate how FCPS implements AAP and agree with the above poster about flexible groupings.

+2 they make elementary school AAP out to be the end all be all of everything but a lot of kids are “late bloomers” in terms of the academics and end up doing well in honors and AP classes in HS without elementary AAP at all.

Separating kids based on 2nd grade testing is absurd

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is in the program at her center school and her sister wasn’t accepted. She told her sister she was in the stupid class and I immediately freaked out. I do think kids in the aap program feel superior. I thought about taking her out.

A lot of this comes from their parents but sometimes it is in fact the teachers at the AAP center who make them feel this way - a lot of Centers completely separate the kids - they don't even have lunch together!!!

My DC's center school does AAP and GE together: Lunch, Recess, Specials, Etc.

[Anonymous]

It is real. I remember the day my kid came home crying because his friend told him that he wished my kid was smarter so they could still go to school together.

What I find the most terrible is that not all schools have local level IV. This means that not all kids in the county have to go through this splintering of school communities, whether they are GenEd or AAP. They get to stay in their community school and still get services.

In the end, my child told me he didn't care what class he was in, he just wanted to go to school with the kids in his neighborhood like he always had. He was very sad in 3rd grade.

I kind of went a little mama bear and went straight to the regional superintendent and, long story short, told them they created this mess, and they were going to help me fix it. We ended up pupil placing, in GenEd, at the center school because it had space. Next year, happy kid back with his buddies. He even got the chance to do advanced math and science. He never would have gotten that chance at his base school.

He ended up taking a mixture of Honors and Regular in MS and HS and is outperforming some of his friends who were in AAP. Which, looking back, is really just advanced math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I failed as a parent today! My child (2nd grader) came home crying today because apparently three of her friends are switching schools to go to an AAP center next year. I’m happy with my child’ performance and school, and didn’t even consider pushing for this. But she’s been crying for over an hour about how she is “stupid” and will have no friends next year. She doesn’t even want to see these girls tomorrow because they told her they aren’t friends with her anymore. I had absolutely on idea this is something kids talk about- this is my first kid. Have other parents experienced this ?

This sounds very unreal.

NP. I assure you, this is absolutely real. The same scenario happened with my child back in 2nd grade too. What made it even worse was that he attended a center school already and so had to see these mean kids for the rest of his elementary years - they were in the AAP classes and he was in GE. When they all found out they had gotten in, they made a lunch table for only themselves, and anyone not accepted to AAP was not allowed to sit there. This lasted for a few days until I and a few other parents notified the teachers and then that ended. But as another poster said, the damage had been done. My son was called "dumb" and the kids who had been his best friends immediately shunned him.

Being told as a SEVEN year old that you're either "smarter" than other kids, or "not as smart" is incredibly damaging. The truth is, the vast majority of these kids are identical in ability. Only a very few at either end of the spectrum are so different that they need a specialized curriculum.

The AAP nonsense continued through middle school. Once high school rolled around, my son took all honors and AP classes and excelled. He was accepted to a top 20 college. He says to this day that nothing ever made him feel as bad as those kids who were chosen for AAP. And it was all so unnecessary. The school could have simply had flexible groupings for the four core subjects, that kids could cycle into and out of as needed. Instead, they choose to divide and label kids into two giant groups - groups full of almost identical kids. It's a total sham.

- Discipline kids poor behavior.
- Stop mainstreaming every single kid, many who need different accommodations that takes years to get out of the general education classes.
- Gate honors/GT classes again.
- Stop the flow of ESOL kids into gened classes when they can barely speak English.

This would allow flexible groupings to be viable. As it stands now, AAP is just normal school that many are clamoring for.

Or live in a rich part of the county.

The rude, arrogant comment happened in the rich part.

Right, AAP isn’t as important there as is it is to lower and middle SES schools that are plagued by issues that make general classrooms unworkable. AAP becomes critical special education in those circumstances.

Flexible grouping and less separation work fine at rich schools because they are not plagued by so many issues.

I have taught AAP at the best schools in the county and at Title I schools with decent ratings. AAP is needed for the lower SES , higher ESOL schools. I taught 7 years at one of those schools. There is a subset of kids that are years behind by 4th grade, there needs to be a program like AAP so the high-achieving (or even on grade level) students aren’t held back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I failed as a parent today! My child (2nd grader) came home crying today because apparently three of her friends are switching schools to go to an AAP center next year. I’m happy with my child’ performance and school, and didn’t even consider pushing for this. But she’s been crying for over an hour about how she is “stupid” and will have no friends next year. She doesn’t even want to see these girls tomorrow because they told her they aren’t friends with her anymore. I had absolutely on idea this is something kids talk about- this is my first kid. Have other parents experienced this ?

This sounds very unreal.

NP. I assure you, this is absolutely real. The same scenario happened with my child back in 2nd grade too. What made it even worse was that he attended a center school already and so had to see these mean kids for the rest of his elementary years - they were in the AAP classes and he was in GE. When they all found out they had gotten in, they made a lunch table for only themselves, and anyone not accepted to AAP was not allowed to sit there. This lasted for a few days until I and a few other parents notified the teachers and then that ended. But as another poster said, the damage had been done. My son was called "dumb" and the kids who had been his best friends immediately shunned him.

Being told as a SEVEN year old that you're either "smarter" than other kids, or "not as smart" is incredibly damaging. The truth is, the vast majority of these kids are identical in ability. Only a very few at either end of the spectrum are so different that they need a specialized curriculum.

The AAP nonsense continued through middle school. Once high school rolled around, my son took all honors and AP classes and excelled. He was accepted to a top 20 college. He says to this day that nothing ever made him feel as bad as those kids who were chosen for AAP. And it was all so unnecessary. The school could have simply had flexible groupings for the four core subjects, that kids could cycle into and out of as needed. Instead, they choose to divide and label kids into two giant groups - groups full of almost identical kids. It's a total sham.

- Discipline kids poor behavior.
- Stop mainstreaming every single kid, many who need different accommodations that takes years to get out of the general education classes.
- Gate honors/GT classes again.
- Stop the flow of ESOL kids into gened classes when they can barely speak English.

This would allow flexible groupings to be viable. As it stands now, AAP is just normal school that many are clamoring for.

Or live in a rich part of the county.

The rude, arrogant comment happened in the rich part.

Right, AAP isn’t as important there as is it is to lower and middle SES schools that are plagued by issues that make general classrooms unworkable. AAP becomes critical special education in those circumstances.

Flexible grouping and less separation work fine at rich schools because they are not plagued by so many issues.

I have taught AAP at the best schools in the county and at Title I schools with decent ratings. AAP is needed for the lower SES , higher ESOL schools. I taught 7 years at one of those schools. There is a subset of kids that are years behind by 4th grade, there needs to be a program like AAP so the high-achieving (or even on grade level) students aren’t held back.

Then those schools need appropriate leveled teaching, but not "advanced" for the regular kids per se. Just the nomenclature is annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I failed as a parent today! My child (2nd grader) came home crying today because apparently three of her friends are switching schools to go to an AAP center next year. I’m happy with my child’ performance and school, and didn’t even consider pushing for this. But she’s been crying for over an hour about how she is “stupid” and will have no friends next year. She doesn’t even want to see these girls tomorrow because they told her they aren’t friends with her anymore. I had absolutely on idea this is something kids talk about- this is my first kid. Have other parents experienced this ?

This sounds very unreal.

NP. I assure you, this is absolutely real. The same scenario happened with my child back in 2nd grade too. What made it even worse was that he attended a center school already and so had to see these mean kids for the rest of his elementary years - they were in the AAP classes and he was in GE. When they all found out they had gotten in, they made a lunch table for only themselves, and anyone not accepted to AAP was not allowed to sit there. This lasted for a few days until I and a few other parents notified the teachers and then that ended. But as another poster said, the damage had been done. My son was called "dumb" and the kids who had been his best friends immediately shunned him.

Being told as a SEVEN year old that you're either "smarter" than other kids, or "not as smart" is incredibly damaging. The truth is, the vast majority of these kids are identical in ability. Only a very few at either end of the spectrum are so different that they need a specialized curriculum.

The AAP nonsense continued through middle school. Once high school rolled around, my son took all honors and AP classes and excelled. He was accepted to a top 20 college. He says to this day that nothing ever made him feel as bad as those kids who were chosen for AAP. And it was all so unnecessary. The school could have simply had flexible groupings for the four core subjects, that kids could cycle into and out of as needed. Instead, they choose to divide and label kids into two giant groups - groups full of almost identical kids. It's a total sham.

- Discipline kids poor behavior.
- Stop mainstreaming every single kid, many who need different accommodations that takes years to get out of the general education classes.
- Gate honors/GT classes again.
- Stop the flow of ESOL kids into gened classes when they can barely speak English.

This would allow flexible groupings to be viable. As it stands now, AAP is just normal school that many are clamoring for.

Or live in a rich part of the county.

The rude, arrogant comment happened in the rich part.

Right, AAP isn’t as important there as is it is to lower and middle SES schools that are plagued by issues that make general classrooms unworkable. AAP becomes critical special education in those circumstances.

Flexible grouping and less separation work fine at rich schools because they are not plagued by so many issues.

I have taught AAP at the best schools in the county and at Title I schools with decent ratings. AAP is needed for the lower SES , higher ESOL schools. I taught 7 years at one of those schools. There is a subset of kids that are years behind by 4th grade, there needs to be a program like AAP so the high-achieving (or even on grade level) students aren’t held back.

Then those schools need appropriate leveled teaching, but not "advanced" for the regular kids per se. Just the nomenclature is annoying.

Like separate classes? Yeah I agree. Maybe we could make one school in an area be a focal point for those classes to get a larger grouping of kids who need that leveled teaching?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely the kids talk about this. I am sorry Op. AAP sucks. Damage control time. Strengthen relationships with friends who will remain. Immediately. Do not chase the friends who will be leaving.

AAP doesn’t suck. Not allowing gifted and talented kids the space to grow and be challenged sucks.

LOL, former elementary teacher here. There is maybe one kid from any class that is truly "gifted" or "talented." The rest just developed a bit earlier, or are a few months older, or were forced by parents to do Kumon worksheets from the age of 3. Most will be right back in the same classes and eventually colleges with all the "stupid" kids who didn't go to a center. The whole program is a bad joke and a waste of money, and just catering to pushy and overly competitive parents (not saying all parents of AAP parents are that way - but that there is a group like that within most school districts that successfully push these programs).

[Anonymous]

The way AAP is run in this county is a mess. Our ES got local level IV about a while back last year's sixth grades were the first class that was able to stay at the base. Most AAP kids stay back at the base. My DC who is not AAP, had a ton of friends from an activity who all ended up AAP or principal placed. DC struggles as to why their friends all end up in the same class year after year and my DC isn't in that class. a clique has developed. It's sad. We have tried to reach out to the others and things don't happen other than that activity, that they have been in together since K. My younger DC has heard other AAP 3rd graders talking about being in the smart class. They were running their mouths about Lexia levels in a community activity, that I'm an adult volunteer for. I had to shut that down. Older child was at an event were kids were talking about getting into advanced classes because of their IQ. Just ridiculous how much is based on decisions made about kids in second grade. I think there should be differentiation but not a complete separation. Some kids are good at ELA but not math. Some kids bloom a little later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like I failed as a parent today! My child (2nd grader) came home crying today because apparently three of her friends are switching schools to go to an AAP center next year. I’m happy with my child’ performance and school, and didn’t even consider pushing for this. But she’s been crying for over an hour about how she is “stupid” and will have no friends next year. She doesn’t even want to see these girls tomorrow because they told her they aren’t friends with her anymore. I had absolutely on idea this is something kids talk about- this is my first kid. Have other parents experienced this ?

This sounds very unreal.

+1 I was about to post the same reaction as PP.
The rest of the story is completely believable and justifiably heartbreaking, and honestly was enough to convey the hurt and disappointment. But this additional statement just doesn’t feel authentic. It feels more like the OP clumsily jammed it in there to make the situation appear even more crappy than it is, maybe thinking that it needed an extra gut punch or something.
But honestly even without that “and they told her they aren’t friends with her anymore” most people would be sympathetic to OP and her DD. It didn’t need the added drama.
And yes, it does seem like this is drama that OP just threw in there but is not something that 2nd grade friends would articulate in the immediate aftermath of receiving AAP results. It sounds more like OP is fearful that they will decide this or that they will say this later when there is reduced contact. But I just can’t see the AAP girls outright stating pre-emptively “so we aren’t friends with you anymore” to their friend who is standing right in front of them.