Relitigating a signed custody agreement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you not following the agreement?

We are. Ex who lives far away (and did when the agreement was signed) no longer wants to pay for private school unless DC is living with him in his city.

Ok, so you pay or the kid goes to public. Maybe he cannot afford it along with child support. What is the actual story here? Why can't child visit more as a compromise?

What the hell! Are you a deadbeat dad or a deadbeat dad sympathizer?

NP and mother to teen child. How that this answer a dead beat sympathizer? Sounds like the father has been more that fulfilling his financial duties and is asking for more time with their kid in exchange for continued private school payment. You don't own your kid.

Private school isn't a right it is an expensive privilege. Get a higher paying job or have your kid go private if you are not willing to compromise.

We don't know OP's circumstances. Many families chose private school for a variety of reasons and that this has been the status quo for their child for some time now. Especially being on her own, private school hours tend to be more flexible, the smaller cohort and community can help out in a pinch, enrichment activities that are covered by the school and therefore she won't need to take him all over town, and the teachers tend to be more flexible with assignments and homework given the two households her son is a part of. Plus, it really does seem like Dad is trying to manipulate a change in circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you not following the agreement?

We are. Ex who lives far away (and did when the agreement was signed) no longer wants to pay for private school unless DC is living with him in his city.

Ok, so you pay or the kid goes to public. Maybe he cannot afford it along with child support. What is the actual story here? Why can't child visit more as a compromise?

What the hell! Are you a deadbeat dad or a deadbeat dad sympathizer?

NP and mother to teen child. How that this answer a dead beat sympathizer? Sounds like the father has been more that fulfilling his financial duties and is asking for more time with their kid in exchange for continued private school payment. You don't own your kid.

Private school isn't a right it is an expensive privilege. Get a higher paying job or have your kid go private if you are not willing to compromise.

We don't know OP's circumstances. Many families chose private school for a variety of reasons and that this has been the status quo for their child for some time now. Especially being on her own, private school hours tend to be more flexible, the smaller cohort and community can help out in a pinch, enrichment activities that are covered by the school and therefore she won't need to take him all over town, and the teachers tend to be more flexible with assignments and homework given the two households her son is a part of. Plus, it really does seem like Dad is trying to manipulate a change in circumstances.

We really don’t know anything. But, if dad does not agree mom has plenty to pay if she insists on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im not getting a huge amount of child support at all. It’s based on his old income not the current income.

Is paying for private school part of the agreement?

Private school is part of the custody order.

Paying his part of college is part of the marital settlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im not getting a huge amount of child support at all. It’s based on his old income not the current income.

Is paying for private school part of the agreement?

Private school is part of the custody order.

Paying his part of college is part of the marital settlement.

He's going to have a very difficult time to get that changed. The burden of proof is on him, but as others have said, talk to your attorney!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im not getting a huge amount of child support at all. It’s based on his old income not the current income.

Is paying for private school part of the agreement?

Private school is part of the custody order.

Paying his part of college is part of the marital settlement.

Sorry OP, so stressful to have to deal with this! If it's already a part of the agreement, there's no chance they'll agree to this change unless he can prove a change in material circumstances or he's unable to pay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im not getting a huge amount of child support at all. It’s based on his old income not the current income.

Is paying for private school part of the agreement?

Private school is part of the custody order.

Paying his part of college is part of the marital settlement.

I suspect you are misunderstanding something about private school being in the custody order rather than the support order. Or do you have a unified order that addresses custody and support? Either way it's still the support portion of the order that he would ask to modify.

What state are you in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im not getting a huge amount of child support at all. It’s based on his old income not the current income.

Is paying for private school part of the agreement?

Private school is part of the custody order.

Paying his part of college is part of the marital settlement.

I suspect you are misunderstanding something about private school being in the custody order rather than the support order. Or do you have a unified order that addresses custody and support? Either way it's still the support portion of the order that he would ask to modify.

What state are you in?

Unified order that addresses custody and support.

College is separate and in the marital settlement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im not getting a huge amount of child support at all. It’s based on his old income not the current income.

Is paying for private school part of the agreement?

Private school is part of the custody order.

Paying his part of college is part of the marital settlement.

And, does he have say in what schools his child goes to? He clearly isn't happy with this school. There may be a good reason why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - my suggestion is to contact your attorney and discuss it with them. You aren't going to get ngood advice here.

This. Based on guidelines he may owe you a lot more in CS anyway and prefer to keep paying tuition than having his CS modified. In any case your lawyer will be able to better inform you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you not following the agreement?

We are. Ex who lives far away (and did when the agreement was signed) no longer wants to pay for private school unless DC is living with him in his city.

Ok, so you pay or the kid goes to public. Maybe he cannot afford it along with child support. What is the actual story here? Why can't child visit more as a compromise?

What the hell! Are you a deadbeat dad or a deadbeat dad sympathizer?

NP and mother to teen child. How that this answer a dead beat sympathizer? Sounds like the father has been more that fulfilling his financial duties and is asking for more time with their kid in exchange for continued private school payment. You don't own your kid.

Private school isn't a right it is an expensive privilege. Get a higher paying job or have your kid go private if you are not willing to compromise.

We don't know OP's circumstances. Many families chose private school for a variety of reasons and that this has been the status quo for their child for some time now. Especially being on her own, private school hours tend to be more flexible, the smaller cohort and community can help out in a pinch, enrichment activities that are covered by the school and therefore she won't need to take him all over town, and the teachers tend to be more flexible with assignments and homework given the two households her son is a part of. Plus, it really does seem like Dad is trying to manipulate a change in circumstances.

We really don’t know anything. But, if dad does not agree mom has plenty to pay if she insists on it.

Dad doesn’t have to agree. That’s not how court orders work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im not getting a huge amount of child support at all. It’s based on his old income not the current income.

Is paying for private school part of the agreement?

Private school is part of the custody order.

Paying his part of college is part of the marital settlement.

Tell him to file and good luck.

[Anonymous]

Is Dad's motivation in this to save money, or to get the kid to live with him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is Dad's motivation in this to save money, or to get the kid to live with him?

Both. Two birds one stone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you not following the agreement?

We are. Ex who lives far away (and did when the agreement was signed) no longer wants to pay for private school unless DC is living with him in his city.

That seems valid to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, sorry to hear you're going through this. Courts don't like changing things for the kid and your ex is going to have to prove why this change is in the child's best interest (so your defense needs to be that no change is in the child's best interest) or that his circumstances have changed enough that he cannot afford to pay anymore. The court will not like that your ex is doing this out of spite or to manipulate you into a larger change for your child.

IF the court agrees with your ex, ask for this to only go in effect after next school year so you can apply for Financial Aid. Have this new order written down and apply for financial aid at your private school with the change, excluding his income with your new custody arrangement as proof.

It appears that OP has one child, and earns at least 400K (half of the top 1% salary) and gets substantial child support.

While I agree that Dad isn't being reasonable, and should pay his share, I can't imagine she'll get financial aid with that profile.

OP. Hi, I was wrong. I make $230K and he makes over $500K. So we were close to 1% combined but not separately. So while I cannot full pay private he can easily afford his share.

You make 230k and cannot afford full-pay private?

Uh, yeah you can. You may not WANT to pay that much, but you absolutely CAN afford it.