Family Entitlement and How to Deal with It?

[Anonymous]

Well, to be honest, I doubt that there will be any lasting bonds. The cousins on that side of the family are 10+ years older, so there's never been a close cousin relationship. My BIL is as interesting to my teens as any other middle-aged know-it-all. I personally like my aunts and uncles, but we haven't vacationed together and it's not something I've missed or even thought about, and I have cousin friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As one of the posters with in-laws that are demanding of our time, hospitality, and vacations, I can say we make plenty of time for them. We do travel with them and host holidays and give them time alone with the kids. The problem is that it is somehow never enough and there is no recognition of what we give up to do these things for them. There is an attitude of “if you love me, you will do everything I want, when I want it, and I don’t have to consider how it impacts you.” It is the sense of entitlement and lack of consideration for my time, energy, money, or personal family time that makes me hostile.

You have to ignore t, They do it because a) they get away with it and b) it works,they get what they want.

You have to give up any fantasy that they will be understanding about not getting what they want. It’s not your job to constantly please them or frankly to even occasionally please them. Do what YOU want and stop letting them manipulate you.

[Anonymous]

Yep -- we're not cutting anyone off. The teens have only a few years left until adulthood and can do whatever they want. I'm just trying to maneuver the entitlement and manipulation. And frankly, mind my own business. The posters here are right, it's not our job to please others, relationships have to be reciprocal or they will cause resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s with all the co-sleeping? I find that odd.

It's this week's I-hate-my-inlaws trope. There are several threads discussing it so OP thought she'd jump on that bandwagon too.

It always made me uncomfortable. I can still remember my MIL sleeping on my couch with my baby and feeling kind of icked out about it, but I don't know why and it may be more about me

[Anonymous]

The Boomer entitlement is astonishing. I was essentially abandoned at 17 when my parents divorced. Neither of them saved a dime for retirement, despite having big jobs, fur coats (80's), luxury cars and homes. So, not only did I have to finish high school living w/o parents, I also paid my own way through college including fully supporting myself, now I have to help finance their retirement and be constantly nagged to help in other ways that I never saw my parents demonstrate to their parents at the same stage of life. Meanwhile I have young kids and ZERO family help. Needless to say, I am not thrilled with this.